RedRobin Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 No, at the age of 26 I don't want virgin woman but I was thinking that she would be more within the 1-6 range. You know something closer to my number, a bit more or less (don't mind if it's slightly more than me) but not that much of a difference. I'm suspecting my gf must be pass 10 but I guess it's better I don't know it. Even when I was a virgin till age 22, I was number 4 to my first. I guess I was just realistic then and just focus on finding a good girl as long as her number was low. Never had a virgin gf ever (I knew then that they're rare anyways and the chances of me finding that would've been 1/100). But yes it would've been cool if she had been virgin at the time because then we would have been learning together instead of getting teached. I didn't lasted too long at the time. But yet it's fair that she denies the question she asked me first? No, I don't believe in double standards of any kind. If she asked, she is obliged to also share. Probably share first, in the spirit of mutual trust. I suspect this goes deeper than just 'numbers'. Are there other things she has asked you to share but with holds on her part? I personally think that sharing 'numbers' is not wise for some of the reasons people suggested above. However, I also understand that people use it as a form of 'shorthand' to gauge someone's attitudes about sex. There are other ways to get to that than asking about numbers. Some people attach significant meaning to sexual intimacy. Some don't. If you are worried that the woman you are with doesn't attach meaning to intimacy or has self-esteem issues, then that might be a good place to start an honest discussion. What do you think?
Author LostDavid Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 I don't know if you actually told her that you think people who have casual sex are stupid and immature or if you just implied it but nothing shuts a person up quicker than the possibility of being judged.No but I did told her how I'm only a long-term relationships only man, not ONS nor casual sex. I might be misunderstanding your post but it seems like you have been with this girl for two years. If this is true then I can't really see why what she did before she met you is more important than what she has done for the past two years.Naturally to get a bit jealous if they're highly experienced while you're not. Also, if this is something that is a dealbreaker for you, why didn't you bring it up before? I mean its been 2 years?I guess I wasn't focusing on that and just assumed her number was closer to mine.
Author LostDavid Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 Some people attach significant meaning to sexual intimacy. Some don't. If you are worried that the woman you are with doesn't attach meaning to intimacy or has self-esteem issues, then that might be a good place to start an honest discussion. What do you think?Besides this issue, it's been good and never been cheated on. Though hard to think how reformed loose people can suddenly attach meaning to intimacy when they didn't do that with the others. I can't never just have sex to have it so I don't understand how they were able to do that in the past.
ASG Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Besides this issue, it's been good and never been cheated on. Though hard to think how reformed loose people can suddenly attach meaning to intimacy when they didn't do that with the others. I can't never just have sex to have it so I don't understand how they were able to do that in the past. You're looking at it wrong. it's not about attaching meaning. It's about having that someone special in your life. I don't attach particular meaning to sex. But when I'm in a relationship, I am fully in it and don't want anyone else. Because I don't believe in dating someone just for the sake of having a bf. If I date someone it's because I believe it's special. So, for that reason, I will be faithful. It's not about sex. It's about the connection with that person. I don't think it's fair of you to be making assumptions about your 2 year GF though... If she's been a good GF during this time, surely she deserves being given the benefit of the doubt and not being called a slut. I do agree that, if she brought it up, she should tell you her number as well. But on the other hand... you've been dating for 2 years. Surely what's happened during those 2 years is more important than what happened before, no? 1
zengirl Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 We were watching Adan and Eve movie and I think she assumed every man was like the Adan character. She said You probably had lots of gf too and I said not really. This is when she asked me and I answered. She asked your number of sexual partners or your number of girlfriends? To me, those are 2 very different questions with different purposes. If you had a very low number for your age, it would a bit hard to digess that. Yes I'll get over it eventually but you know, I'll be wondering if I'm performing good and better than her past lovers. I guess it's a bit of jealousy when the woman is highly experienced. I'm not talking about 2-3 numbers more but 10+. I don't honestly see how numbers matter -- and performance is not really impacted by the numbers, but by the connection people share, especially for women. I don't know my husband's number or really care; I'm sure he'd tell me. He knows how many Rs I had, so he could get to my number.
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