Oxy Moronovich Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 On the other hand I see some LS women who consider any other woman who doesn't make a man "earn" the sex their "giving" him a slut. Their unrealistic, don't like sex, or have their own issues. This is 100% true. Women are far worse when judging a woman's sexual past then men. Just sit around with women and listen to all the nasty things they'll say about other women: slut, skank, whore, tramp, etc. to women they hardly know or don't know at all. Then, when they meet these women, they'll act fake-friendly while getting details about them. Examples: just recently I was talking to a woman who lives in my apartment and dresses conservatively. Another female walked by in tanktop and skirt. Without any prompting from me the conservative woman said, "If you saw me dressing like that you'd think I was a whore." At a job I once had, two coworkers liked me. I don't get into relationships with coworkers so I didn't try anything. But they both seemed friendly with me and each other. One of them was more aggressive than the other. She used to trashtalk her coworker, saying she had AIDS and slept around. And other women at that same job used to trashtalk each other, using attacks on their promiscuity. So yeah, women are way worse when judging a woman on her sexual past than men are. When a woman wants ammo against a female enemy, the woman's looks or sexual past is the first thing she starts to criticize. 4
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 So your family knows your count? Yes, my close family (parents and sister) have a pretty good idea.
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Fight straw-man with straw-man? LOL! The only occasions a woman's sexual history matter to me are in the event she slept with someone she knows I know & didn't tell me & when a woman gives me some crap where she makes me wait for sex & I find out for a fact she gave it up faster for past boyfriends or had casual flings in the past & tells me she "needs a connection" before having sex. I won't stick around for women like that because they obviously can't be attracted to me all that much and have always turned out to be major attention whores & game players. oh... another indicator of a guy who has slept around alot are ones who use the phrase... 'gave it up', 'give it up' or similar when talking about the women they, um, 'date'... to use the word loosely. So, thank you very much for helping out.
phineas Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 This is 100% true. Women are far worse when judging a woman's sexual past then men. Just sit around with women and listen to all the nasty things they'll say about other women: slut, skank, whore, tramp, etc. to women they hardly know or don't know at all. Then, when they meet these women, they'll act fake-friendly while getting details about them. Examples: just recently I was talking to a woman who lives in my apartment and dresses conservatively. Another female walked by in tanktop and skirt. Without any prompting from me the conservative woman said, "If you saw me dressing like that you'd think I was a whore." At a job I once had, two coworkers liked me. I don't get into relationships with coworkers so I didn't try anything. But they both seemed friendly with me and each other. One of them was more aggressive than the other. She used to trashtalk her coworker, saying she had AIDS and slept around. And other women at that same job used to trashtalk each other, using attacks on their promiscuity. So yeah, women are way worse when judging a woman on her sexual past than men are. When a woman wants ammo against a female enemy, the woman's looks or sexual past is the first thing she starts to criticize. Yep. and 9 times out of 10 the one pointing the finger is sleeping with an ex or has a secret FWB. As long as nobody finds out, it never happened in their mind. The more they try to proclaim their "good girls" the more wild they actually are when nobody they know who would talk about them is actually looking. The sheet i've seen & experienced with women I knew that I unexpectedly met out..... All I gotta do is promise not to tell anyone & it's game on.
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Is it perfectly acceptable for a man to not divulge that he was an abused someone in a previous relationship? I'd say he is obliged to do so before becoming intimate, yes. On the other hand, men with that history are not that hard to spot once one knows what to look for. They have anger issues that run through many aspects of their lives.
phineas Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 oh... another indicator of a guy who has slept around alot are ones who use the phrase... 'gave it up', 'give it up' or similar when talking about the women they, um, 'date'... to use the word loosely. So, thank you very much for helping out. So how is YOUR narrow mindedness any different than those men who you claim label women sluts? Hmmm? We were having such nice convo then your bitter man-hating oozed out and you just couldn't resist dropping an insult. You don't need LS. You need a shrink. Good day to you. 1
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 So how is YOUR narrow mindedness any different than those men who you claim label women sluts? Hmmm? We were having such nice convo then your bitter man-hating oozed out and you just couldn't resist dropping an insult. Thank you for taking on the mantle of representing all of 'manhood' with your comments. Whatever you perceive about 'bitter' has nothing to do with 'men'... and everything to do with dislike of poor behavior by people who just happen to be men. Big difference.
snug.bunny Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Obviously her number is astronomical and can only be understood in powers of ten. I'd guess more than 10 (at least) so she could feel comfortable telling you her own number. Her big number must most possibly involve a lot of casual encounters given her evasive response. Now she's afraid to reveal her number because you'll think of her as loose. I'm guessing you do that already because of what she said, though. Sounds like she hates to say she was a slut. It is probably at the very least double digit and that isn't low. This is why I never ask. I don't care. They lie anyways. I said slut because if you are ashamed to admit it then you are a slut. If a chick won't sleep with me on the first date, I usually take that as a sign she's not that into me. One girl who slept with me on the first date, I later friend-zoned, more or less. : This is 100% true. Women are far worse when judging a woman's sexual past then men.That's funny. 1
phineas Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Thank you for taking on the mantle of representing all of 'manhood' with your comments. Whatever you perceive about 'bitter' has nothing to do with 'men'... and everything to do with dislike of poor behavior by people who just happen to be men. Big difference. You aren't going to goad me into an argument like you usually do but i'm going to point out that I posted the hypocrisy of BOTH sexes and you only focused in on the female part & started dropping insults. It reeks of bitterness on your part. You don't even offer an alternate theory you just went straight to insults. You can't even carry on a civil discussion with men on this forum without lowering yourself to dropping insults. I have no doubts that this how you are in real life & it's plainly clear why you are single. Because I feel sorry for you, i'll go ahead & let you get in the last word.
zoe1983 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I don't know if you actually told her that you think people who have casual sex are stupid and immature or if you just implied it but nothing shuts a person up quicker than the possibility of being judged. I might be misunderstanding your post but it seems like you have been with this girl for two years. If this is true then I can't really see why what she did before she met you is more important than what she has done for the past two years. Also, if this is something that is a dealbreaker for you, why didn't you bring it up before? I mean its been 2 years? Like one of the previous posters said, most women feel like they need to have a lower number than their mate or they will be seen as slutty. I wouldn't be surprised if her number was only a few higher than yours, but she is just worried about you judging her. Maybe its just me but isn't one of the great things about a healthy relationship that you know your matewill never judge you or make you feel less than for your past?
oldshirt Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 This is exactly why noone should EVER discuss numbers!!! EVER!!!!! There is absolutely NO usefull information that can be gained by discussing numbers. EVER!!!! Seriously, the only reason people even ask is out of morbid curiosity and to determine if the other person is slutty or prudish and it will almost always be used as ammunition and will almost always cause some kind of distress. It is purely a lose-lose proposition. If you say 1 person to many you will be viewed as slutty, indescriminate, desparate, dysfunctional and as a playa'. If you say one person too few you will be viewed as weak, undesirable, prudish, uptight and nerdy. YOU CAN'T WIN!!!!!! Use this as a lesson learned and NEVER do this again!!! If it is real important for someone to only become involved with a virgin then it is probably fair game to ask if they are a virgin or not. If someone is super concerned about STDs then it is probably OK for both people to take an STD test before becoming sexual. And as an earlier poster stated, if someone is still dating you and they haven't cheated then you are good enough in bed so there is no reason to worry about how you measure up to their previous lovers. I'm serious, there is only harm and pain and distress to that can be gained from discussing numbers and absolutely NOTHING POSITIVE to gained from it. My wife and I have been married for almost 17 years and have two kids and happy home and family and I do NOT know what her number is nor does she know mine. She tried to ask me a couple times while we were dating and refused to have the conversation and that is one thing that I have done right in this relationship and I thank my lucky stars every day when I read things like this that I had the strength and character to resist it. To the OP, I honestly don't know if you'll be able to recover from this or not. I hope you do because we all have our own baggage and we all have our own pasts and that doesn't mean we can't have a healthy and happy future. (and BTW I think it was ****ty that she drew it out of you but then refused to disclose herself. She obviously feels she has something to hide but she shouldn't have even brought it up if she wasn't prepared to deal with the outcome.) But for the love of all that is Holy, do not allow yourself to be drawn into to something like this ever again. 3
zengirl Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 While I don't like the phrase 'give it up,' either, I think phineas is right about the only times such things matters: If it's a game (I wouldn't necessarily assume that just because a woman's sexual style has changed over time that it's a game, though --- many women's do, after significant life events, etc --- but if it's changed without reason, it's probably an indication of low attraction towards you or something to be wary of) OR if there is some reason she'd need to disclose the information, such as she slept with or dated someone you know, etc. Otherwise, it's just sexual insecurity, really. She's the one that brought up that conversation in the first place. I was honest and told her she's my 3rd and how I'm only into long term relationships. As a guy, I was never into sleeping around nor getting drunk at bars. I see people who do that as immature and simply stupid (regardless of gender). But when I asked her back the same question, she responded with an ''Wow I thought it was gonna be higher that's good, well sort of the same here, but that's all''. I asked ''What you mean sort of, I told you my number what is yours'' and she replied ''I don't wanna talk about it''. Ummm then why would she bring up that topic? Does this means I could have been dating one of those wild, party girls with a high number for 2 years all this time??? Otherwise why would she say ''sort of''? Ever since last week I haven't stop thinking about it. Any suggestions? A few questions: 1. How did she 'bring up' the topic? 2. 2 years in, why does it matter to you if she has a high number? Surely you know her character far better by now than any # would tell you. 1
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Because I feel sorry for you, i'll go ahead & let you get in the last word. Thanks!
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 While I don't like the phrase 'give it up,' either, I think phineas is right about the only times such things matters: If it's a game (I wouldn't necessarily assume that just because a woman's sexual style has changed over time that it's a game, though --- many women's do, after significant life events, etc --- but if it's changed without reason, it's probably an indication of low attraction towards you or something to be wary of) OR if there is some reason she'd need to disclose the information, such as she slept with or dated someone you know, etc. Otherwise, it's just sexual insecurity, really. That's fine. However, I don't see how any woman needs to go into a novel length description of her life and choices with a total stranger... That is not sexual insecurity. It is choosing not to open oneself up to a-hole men who have lots to say about women's lives but spend precious little time inspecting their own. Since most of these guys can't be bothered to wait more than a few dates before they 'get some', 'get laid', or expect the woman to 'give it up'... I suppose speculation is the best they can do. God forbid they actually get to know her. :rolleyes:
zengirl Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 That's fine. However, I don't see how any woman needs to go into a novel length description of her life and choices with a total stranger... That is not sexual insecurity. It is choosing not to open oneself up to a-hole men who have lots to say about women's lives but spend precious little time inspecting their own. Huh? I said caring about it otherwise, outside of when it really is applicable (i.e. The woman has a style you know about and is acting otherwise with you for no apparent reason OR she slept with someone you know, like your boss, before or something) would be sexual insecurity on the man's part. At any rate, that idea hardly applies, on either side, to this OP who said he'd been dating this girl for 2 years. Why it matters to either of them, secrecy or knowing, seems odd to me.
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Huh? I said caring about it otherwise, outside of when it really is applicable (i.e. The woman has a style you know about and is acting otherwise with you for no apparent reason OR she slept with someone you know, like your boss, before or something) would be sexual insecurity on the man's part. At any rate, that idea hardly applies, on either side, to this OP who said he'd been dating this girl for 2 years. Why it matters to either of them, secrecy or knowing, seems odd to me. Sorry. I misunderstood what you said. As far as the OP... it does seem like alot of time has passed. Two years should be adequate time to know and understand someone's life and patterns.
FitChick Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 It doesn't matter as long as she is faithful to you. In matters like this, the wisest course of action is "Don't ask, don't tell." 3
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Yep. and 9 times out of 10 the one pointing the finger is sleeping with an ex or has a secret FWB. As long as nobody finds out, it never happened in their mind. The more they try to proclaim their "good girls" the more wild they actually are when nobody they know who would talk about them is actually looking. The sheet i've seen & experienced with women I knew that I unexpectedly met out..... All I gotta do is promise not to tell anyone & it's game on. So true. So many women will judge another woman's sexual past but it'll be a case of the pot calling the kettle black. : That's funny. You misinterpreted my post. I said women are far worse when judging a woman's sexual past than men. I didn't say, "Men are uncritical of a woman's sexual past." So my point still stands.
Fondue Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Don't be upset at her "number," but rather, find fault in that she ASKED YOU and you revealed yourself, but refused to divulge similar information about HERSELF. That's a little a childish/immature, and I would personally find that an incredible flaw in their character. 1
Author LostDavid Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 Most men want a woman with lower numbers than theirs no matter how low his is. If he said 2, he'd expect hers to be one. If he said 1, he'd expect hers to be zero. If his were zero, he'd lie and say 10 (ha ha). Hers could be 3 or 4, but as long as it is anything close to his, he'll perceive it as an issue.No, at the age of 26 I don't want virgin woman but I was thinking that she would be more within the 1-6 range. You know something closer to my number, a bit more or less (don't mind if it's slightly more than me) but not that much of a difference. I'm suspecting my gf must be pass 10 but I guess it's better I don't know it. Even when I was a virgin till age 22, I was number 4 to my first. I guess I was just realistic then and just focus on finding a good girl as long as her number was low. Never had a virgin gf ever (I knew then that they're rare anyways and the chances of me finding that would've been 1/100). But yes it would've been cool if she had been virgin at the time because then we would have been learning together instead of getting teached. I didn't lasted too long at the time. Interesting turn about though... I'm glad to see women digging into men's sexual history before getting involved with them.But yet it's fair that she denies the question she asked me first?
Woggle Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 I don't think she is required to tell you but at the same time she never should have asked you.
Author LostDavid Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 I don't think she is required to tell you but at the same time she never should have asked you.I agree. If she had never asked me, I wouldn't even be curious about it.
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 I agree. If she had never asked me, I wouldn't even be curious about it. Dude, your self-esteem is really in the crapper if you're still in a relationship with this chick. Screw her then dump her.
Author LostDavid Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 A few questions: 1. How did she 'bring up' the topic?Surely you know her character far better by now than any # would tell you.We were watching Adan and Eve movie and I think she assumed every man was like the Adan character. She said You probably had lots of gf too and I said not really. This is when she asked me and I answered. 2. 2 years in, why does it matter to you if she has a high number?If you had a very low number for your age, it would a bit hard to digess that. Yes I'll get over it eventually but you know, I'll be wondering if I'm performing good and better than her past lovers. I guess it's a bit of jealousy when the woman is highly experienced. I'm not talking about 2-3 numbers more but 10+.
snug.bunny Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 So true. So many women will judge another woman's sexual past but it'll be a case of the pot calling the kettle black. You misinterpreted my post. I said women are far worse when judging a woman's sexual past than men. I didn't say, "Men are uncritical of a woman's sexual past." So my point still stands. I didn't misinterpret. If this thread serves as an example, which it does, it is one that contained a slew of preemptive judgments from non-females. I do think females are far more worried with being judged (perhaps, that was what you alluded too). But hey, life isn't fair. It goes both ways (IE: Women being judged for certain things, men being judged for other things). There are reasonable judgments, and then there are ridiculous judgments that don't deserve the time of day. I don't think she is required to tell you but at the same time she never should have asked you. I agree with Woggle.
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