Does anyone find that you get treated differently after you improve yourself?

[SpiralOut]

I am sure the answer will be yes for at least some people, so I am wondering what is your experience?

 

I feel like as I stand up for myself more, and gain confidence in general, certain people are suddenly more friendly to me. Other people who never used to bother me are now giving me a tough time about random, stupid things. Sometimes I wonder if the changes I'm making are causing me to act bitchy or arrogant or something that warrants people getting annoyed with me, or if it's just that some people don't handle change very well. I can't really be that bad, since others still like me.

 

Do people treat you differently - for better or for worse - now that you are improving yourself?

[denise_xo]

Yes, definitely, for the better.

[TaraMaiden]

Ditto.

But the people who don't react positively, are those who provoke and subsequently resent the bitchiness and arrogance.

 

Being more self-assured, confident, dignified and in control doesn't mean your manners should suffer in sacrifice.

 

In fact, those most self-assured, confident, dignified and in control - don't need to resort to such tactics.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Yes.

 

I seem to attract certain people when I am down and feeling sorry for myself. Those people seem to get annoyed with me when I am in more confident and even "arrogant" phase.

 

When I am more "confident" - I attract different people, so it all balances out.

 

There are few that stand by me no matter what, and are genuinely happy for me when I am doing well, yet supportive when I am down. Those few I appreciate more than I can say

[SpiralOut]

Ditto.

But the people who don't react positively, are those who provoke and subsequently resent the bitchiness and arrogance.

 

Being more self-assured, confident, dignified and in control doesn't mean your manners should suffer in sacrifice.

 

In fact, those most self-assured, confident, dignified and in control - don't need to resort to such tactics.

This is true. There have been times when I've been rude without really meaning to, and that's not going to do me any good. It's sometimes hard to know where the line is between assertiveness/aggressiveness.

 

Especially when certain people provoke me CONTINUOUSLY. I'll be dealing with it just fine for a while, every single day for the whole week, for example... and then it just becomes too much and that's when I snap. It's not even just one person, there are two of them. How do you deal with constant provokement??

 

Yes.

 

I seem to attract certain people when I am down and feeling sorry for myself. Those people seem to get annoyed with me when I am in more confident and even "arrogant" phase.

 

When I am more "confident" - I attract different people, so it all balances out.

 

There are few that stand by me no matter what, and are genuinely happy for me when I am doing well, yet supportive when I am down. Those few I appreciate more than I can say

I hate those types of people who don't want you to be happy. I agree that friends who stick by no matter what are keepers.

[TaraMaiden]

This is true. There have been times when I've been rude without really meaning to, and that's not going to do me any good. It's sometimes hard to know where the line is between assertiveness/aggressiveness.

 

Especially when certain people provoke me CONTINUOUSLY. I'll be dealing with it just fine for a while, every single day for the whole week, for example... and then it just becomes too much and that's when I snap. It's not even just one person, there are two of them. How do you deal with constant provokement??

 

 

I am reminded of a motto Lucy sold Charlie Brown (The Doctor is in) when she advised:

 

"Smile sweetly at everyone you meet today. It will make you feel good, but as a bonus, will make them madder than anything you could possibly say."

Remember that when people are rude, they are awaiting a reaction.

You would be amazed at how extraordinarily final, blatantly ignoring someone's rudeness can be.

It eventually makes them look like jerks and deflates them like a pin to a balloon....

If you never retaliate, how can anyone reproach you?

 

(on that note, I apologise for my pedantic nature, but it's "provocation" not "provokement". )

Edited June 10, 2012 by TaraMaiden

[FitChick]

When you are different, people cannot react the same way they did before. That's why many people don't like it when their friends change because it means they have to change as well. Screw 'em!