LoveBites Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 We are both 22 of age still in college. We have been together in a serious long term relationship for over a year. Whenever we are out to the college bars, I've noticed she loves "wingmanning" for her very attractive best friend. Being my girlfriend is very attractive as well, guys go for her hard. She always tells them she has a boyfriend and will often point at me. Sometimes, if not all the time, the guys understand and stop talking to her. My girlfriend is very very insecure about herself... And I personally believe she is flirting with the other guys to get that confident feeling. It just makes my stomach sick. If I ever wingmanned for a friend, I am very less flirty. If she ever sees me talking to another girl (friend from class or just a friend she has never met) she gets very jealous and will hang on me basically to mark her territory. Last night was a little different. As I was talking to my friends, I see her talkin to a group of guys with her best friend. Her best friend was obviously uninterested so I figured they would stop talking to them. 30 minutes of talking to the group of guys, my girlfriend comes over to me. The bars are now closing and a guy came over to say bye to her. She seemed very excited with her goodbye. Fast forward 20 minutes, we are at a fast food place. She gets a text message from a number without a name and she immediately hides her phone. Then she opens it and I see the first text message was the guy saying his name and then they responded to each other. What made me insanely jealous was she gave the guy her number. She didn't give a fake one, or even if she did give him her number... She was responding to his text messages. The rest of the car ride home she was like "baby I love you" obsessively. Way more than usual. I dropped her off at her place instead of mine so she knew I was pissed. Am I being very reasonable for being jealous? Or am I becoming the jealous boyfriend I never wanted to become.
TripLine Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Accepted a random guy's # in front of the boyfriend in a bar and you are still with her? Damn you got some good restraint on you son.
ascendotum Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I'd be cool with a gf, being a 'wingman' for her single friend on occassions, but given the scenario you outlined, I'd have been pissed off too. She was wrong to give out her real number to guy (unless he's a recruitment manager and can get her better postion), but to then then engage in txt conversations with the man, is rubbing salt into the wound. All the 'baby I love you's was because she had a guilty mind. I'd confront her the next time she comes over and I'd ask her what the hell was she thinking. How is she to be trusted if she out 'wingmanning' in the future if she's like like that with you there let alone if you were not.'
Darren Steez Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 no no no no no!! Get rid off, meets guy at bar, gets message and hides phone, and still in contact with you in the car!? I bet you said nothing, all the while getting more pissed and pissed, and that's the problem..no boundaries. From the get go you should have stated you were not cool with it, not cool with her getting the text and not cool with their communication in your presence. The only reason the guy is texting is to get laid and your girl is at least encouraging it. But if your lady is doing it blatantly to your face then coming out with it might drive her underground, either way it doesn't look good. See you next year on cheaters
ryleeT Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I know this is a crazy idea... but assume for a moment that women are very much like men... we enjoy being desired & we get horny. It sounds like she is doing this for one of two reasons: (1) she isn't getting enough comfort from you, isn't feeling desired enough, and isn't to be blunt, getting enough sex. She is doing this to prove to herself and you that she is sexually desired by others... and you better step-up and show her through action... or (2) she doesn't really care about your feelings... her desire is to engage in more activities with these other men. Now if that's the case, think "why is she giving off these signals?".... well its either because its really reason # 1 or because she wants you to be in on her extra activities. One thing for sure, you're not going to find out if you continue to respond to her actions the way you have been... if you do then you're going to have to encourage her... be her partner in crime. If it's reason # 1 then you'll be reinforcing her sexiness & if it's # 2 then you'll find out and hopefully find a balance that works for you.
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