edelveis Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Hello..As a few of you might know from my previous posts my ex gf left me 1 1/2 month ago..the point is that i tried to overpass her from the very 1st day after our brake up.I gave back all of her things that she had in my flat,i started NC that i still keep,i havent even seen her since then. Things were going really well as i was really absorbed with my difficult exams and i was visiting the gym everyday.I was missing her but just a little and i had started thinking that we will never get back together even if she might come back one day and started moving my life.i really did guys.but a few days before i started missing her so much and feeling weak again. I am really trying to cope with that and get back on track again but i miss her so much and cant stop our good time together even when anticipating with our bad times.my heart pains when i see her online in facebook now.Why do you think this is happening now?after i started moving on with my life and forgetting her,maybe its just a stage of my healing process but i want to know what you think so. its really weird to happen now..has it ever happened to someone of you?
Frank13 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 The same thing happened to me at about the 4 1/2 month mark of NC. I missed her more at that point than I ever did and I couldn't figure out why. Then I started feeling better again and a month later I am moving on better than ever. I also noticed that my emotions about her were all over the place for months. I would go from sadness to anger to thinking I was over her. Then yesterday I realized I didn't think of her the entire day. When I realized this, my emotions were all over the place again but only for a couple minutes instead of days and weeks like before. I think what happened to you is normal and part of the process of healing.
Shinobi Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Yes, it depends on the situation but month and a half is usually way not enough to get over someone. You are still in the early phase of this process and what you experience is completely normal. The ups and downs are typical and you are just in bad position right now. I experienced the same thing and looking back I see that month and a half after my ex left me for another man I felt quite like you. My breakup was horrible because I caught her with this fat fag. I just turned around and never looked back. She did not say anything, no text, no call or e-mail, never tried to explain or apologize... Completely nothing and this is how two and a half years ended. We remained friends on facebook and everytime I saw picture of her I felt exactly like you. I unsubscribed her days after the situation. When she came online I was able to see it and my heartbeat started up. There is option on facebook to become invisible to her and I did it. We are still friends on facebook but it is as we are not. I suggest you do the same thing because this is torturing only you. It's been almost 3 months since the breakup and I feel so much better. You must put some efforts and you will be in a better place in 3-6 months. You will be you again. Good luck.
Author edelveis Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Frank thank you very much man for your answer.i think we are both in a familliar situation.if we are determined and strong enough we ll get through that better than before.i use to say that "she left me,she lost" i hope you think the same. Shinobi thank you very much too!what happened to you is really bad and i guess very heartfull.but i think you are a really strong person and you fight with it.but i think that you shouldnt avoid her in facebook.i think we have to face our problem in order to totally remove it and overpass it..we have to take it out from the root..have u ever seen her after what happened ?how did you feel if yes?
Shinobi Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Thanks for the good words. I have seen her several times afterwards and you know what? I smile, say "hi" and pass by. Why? Because being good to her after that kind of breakup will be very heavy for her cousciousness. Everytime I saw her I experienced bitter feeling and it can not be described. You wish that horrible thing didn't happen but you also know that it's over forever, at least for me. Once I saw her in a club she was staring at me all the time, I do not know what that meant... I suppose she has some unresolved feelings for me, but she will never let it show after ending like that. Honestly, in the first week I expected a text or a call from her, something like "I'm sorry you had to find out in this way, all the best in life"... Well, now I do not need her explanations if there will be any at all. It's over big time. Last time I saw her it was a month ago. She is student in different city and this new boyfriend is from there, so she is not spending much time here. Maybe one of the reasons is not to see me, who knows. I'm getting to the indiference which will be the best. I do believe that what goes around comes around and faith and karma will take care of this. As for you, be prepared for the bitter feeling and for the adrenaline that will rush when you see her some day. You might want her after seeing her, do not look at her facebook profile because you will question yourself about the meaning of every new status, link or picture and this will pull you back. Do not give up and know that with time it will get better, I know it is a cliche but a true one. Whatever I say will not help much but be optimistic and do not put her on pedestal. Accept she is no longer with you and prepare yourself to see her with other guy. The other option is her running back to you- if that's the case you will have the choice but this is completely different scenario. Take care.
Author edelveis Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Shinobi:Being nice to her after all she's done to you will really be hard for her conciousness.I think its the best reaction you could have to make her pain.Really smart move man.But i know how hard it is for you to do that and the pain you are going through.In which stage of your healing proccess are you now?if i am not wrong 3 months passed.. As for me i ll see her again next september when the new semester starts at uni so there is a lot of time for me to heal and prepare for that moment.i just hope not to be very awakward.The only thing i know is that i ll try to look kind of happy and pleasant.I will never give her the pleasure to think i am not over her and.Even if i will not be till then.Moments ago i saw her online in facebook and my heart almost exploded again.. And me and her are done forever.I would never take her back coz now i know she is not worthy.But its so funny that nevertheless i still miss her and think of her with a bittesweet taste..sometimes life is really complicated
foolishlover Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 I am certain what you are experiencing is the normal ups and downs of a break up. I was with my ex for 2.5 years and we've been NC and broken up for 1.5 months. I thought I was doing ok but today, someone brought up my ex and how he is doing this and doing that and living life like he normally would and for some reason, it made my heart sink and made me all upset again. These ups and downs are horrible. I notice the chapters lasting longer. Ill be in a sad upset state for about 2 weeks...and then feel somewhat ok for a week and then it starts all over again. One thing for sure is that I think about him everyday. I just want all these feelings to go away. You dont die from heartbreak, but sometimes i sure wish we did.
Jose11 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 I'm right there with you. About 5 weeks into a 8 year breakup. I can say it gets somewhat better with time. I have gone from having my good and bad days to good and bad moments. Before I used to be all day feeling down, and now its only moments throughout the day. Like people before have said, try to keep yourself busy and it helps, but also take at one day a week to yourself and let it all out. You need to work through it, but don't let it consume your life everyday. Set aside some time one day a week to think and let the pain out. It'll help. Best of luck to you.
olivec Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Hello..As a few of you might know from my previous posts my ex gf left me 1 1/2 month ago..the point is that i tried to overpass her from the very 1st day after our brake up.I gave back all of her things that she had in my flat,i started NC that i still keep,i havent even seen her since then. Things were going really well as i was really absorbed with my difficult exams and i was visiting the gym everyday.I was missing her but just a little and i had started thinking that we will never get back together even if she might come back one day and started moving my life.i really did guys.but a few days before i started missing her so much and feeling weak again. I am really trying to cope with that and get back on track again but i miss her so much and cant stop our good time together even when anticipating with our bad times.my heart pains when i see her online in facebook now.Why do you think this is happening now?after i started moving on with my life and forgetting her,maybe its just a stage of my healing process but i want to know what you think so. its really weird to happen now..has it ever happened to someone of you? Honestly its always gunna be hard the first few months of the breakup because things are still fresh in your mind. My last relationship was like that to it was very hard because she still wanted to be friends even thouigh she broke up with me. I tryed that in hopes that we could get back together. Ultimately that was a huge mistake that i later regreted. I should of went no contact and never played those games. I would suggest unfreinding her as well if you haven't already on facebook. You dont need any reminders right now. Just focus on yourself man and you'll be fine trust me.
Author edelveis Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 foolish lover please dont think like that !.life is way too much beautifull to die coz of a heartbrake you need to work with yourself and try to make the down periods last shorter with time and in the end put an end to them..like what i am trying to do..have you seen him after the break up?how did it fell? Jose11 thank for the advice man! i ll try to follow it coz currently i am fighting to win my sadness and pain instead of taking it all out.. olivec:how did it end after staying friends?my ex also wants us to be friends and i agreed but i am lucky that we ll meet again in september and so we never meet even randomly.i dont intent to be friends i just agreed to come out of the difficult position..and really there are reminder of hers everywhere..their friends study at the same library with me,my fav spots were our fav spots as well so i have to get used to that!i wont stop going to my fav places coz of her..i ll face and overpass it
olivec Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 foolish lover please dont think like that !.life is way too much beautifull to die coz of a heartbrake you need to work with yourself and try to make the down periods last shorter with time and in the end put an end to them..like what i am trying to do..have you seen him after the break up?how did it fell? Jose11 thank for the advice man! i ll try to follow it coz currently i am fighting to win my sadness and pain instead of taking it all out.. olivec:how did it end after staying friends?my ex also wants us to be friends and i agreed but i am lucky that we ll meet again in september and so we never meet even randomly.i dont intent to be friends i just agreed to come out of the difficult position..and really there are reminder of hers everywhere..their friends study at the same library with me,my fav spots were our fav spots as well so i have to get used to that!i wont stop going to my fav places coz of her..i ll face and overpass it ended badly because she continued to play games and was stringing me along. thats why you cant stay friends with your ex. somebody always gets hurt.
Author edelveis Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 thank you very much for your answer man..i ll totally not stay friends with her..
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