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Nearly had a casual encounter this week - is it the way to go the 1st time??

ThaWholigan

By ThaWholigan
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LittlePrince Established Member

LittlePrince

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Different spin on this, consider never going into a strange environment on impulse late at night alone. At the very very least, let a couple friends know exactly where you are headed and with whom to the extent you can. Maybe you did this, if so good for you. Also consider not heading into a strange environment with the intent of getting wasted. Was near strangled with a seatbelt, had a gun pulled on me and robbed, nose bloodied, lost my wallet, arrested for public drunk, all on different occasions around your age, together with numerous run o the mill uncomfortable and sketchy situations, before finally learning this lesson. Since you can't bring them home, always have enough money on hand for a decent "neutral ground" hotel room.

Where exactly do you hide that money so they don't steal it?

dasein Established Member

dasein

Posted
Posted

It's not the girl you have to worry about usually, it's the dudes waiting just out of earshot nearby or what may be going on in the environment you aren't aware of. Hotel locks aren't perfect either, but cut out lots of ambient risk otherwise found in strange houses, cars, outside. Talking about totally random fishy encounters like described in OP. I nearly got caught in a large crackhouse bust once that I didn't even realize was a crackhouse, ordinary, middle class house, just chasing into the wrong place, dick in hand, without thinking and taking precautions. Oh and to answer your question, put your money in your shoe when going into a strange place, just like the old song "Deep Elem Blues" says. :)

LittlePrince Established Member

LittlePrince

Posted
Posted
It's not the girl you have to worry about usually, it's the dudes waiting just out of earshot nearby or what may be going on in the environment you aren't aware of. Hotel locks aren't perfect either, but cut out lots of ambient risk otherwise found in strange houses, cars, outside. Talking about totally random fishy encounters like described in OP. I nearly got caught in a large crackhouse bust once that I didn't even realize was a crackhouse, ordinary, middle class house, just chasing into the wrong place, dick in hand, without thinking and taking precautions. Oh and to answer your question, put your money in your shoe when going into a strange place, just like the old song "Deep Elem Blues" says. :)

What if they steal your shoes? That's a pretty popular past time in the hood.

dasein Established Member

dasein

Posted
Posted

If they have enough balls and burgling equipment to get past hotel locks, then they are welcome to my shoes and the money in them. Like I said, neutral ground greatly reduces risk, doesn't eliminate it. I just don't want OP rushing out to a strange woman's house without precautions other than liquor and rubbers the next time he finds a woman who invites strangers into her home in the middle of the night. :laugh:

LittlePrince Established Member

LittlePrince

Posted
Posted
If they have enough balls and burgling equipment to get past hotel locks, then they are welcome to my shoes and the money in them. Like I said, neutral ground greatly reduces risk, doesn't eliminate it. I just don't want OP rushing out to a strange woman's house without precautions other than liquor and rubbers the next time he finds a woman who invites strangers into her home in the middle of the night. :laugh:

Would the McD's rest stop bathroom be good neutral ground to invite her back to?

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted

While people do get attacked in London, this is not the USA thank god

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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It only cropped up when I actually met her in person. It's like the whole journey there, my penis took over :laugh:.

 

Nothing's been ruled out though. I've finished a large part of my business plan so I have some free time. I've had quite a few messages online since this happened (strange isn't it :laugh:), and I'm gonna reinvigorate my social circle again. Things can happen. And anyway, if all else fails, I still have this girl's number :lmao:

 

I think there is nothing wrong with losing your virginity to a girl who is a bit more free with her love :) but there are nicer ones around.

Ninjainpajamas Established Member

Ninjainpajamas

Posted
Posted

I honestly think you really screwed up on this one...it sounds like perfect situation for you and experience...she could have been teaching you quite a few things right now that would have gave you a potentially unprecedented amount of knowledge...i really get the sense you got gun shy and couldn't make her feel comfortable because you felt that way and probably overhwhelmed and scared to proceed with the deed at the time, which is just a shame If i'm being honest. These really are the sitautions whether people like it or not that give men a great deal of knowledge.

 

Unlike women, men kind of have to be the teachers or directors in the bedroom...at least that's the way I see it, so not engaging in this "dirty" situation is really a missed opportunity, trust me no one is going to judge you for this anyway in the future, this will all be in the past so what's the problem or worry? just wear a condom and go at it.

 

I really think this was the perfect girl for you...now if you meet a nice conservative girl it might be an easier paced girl to sleep with but you'll learn nothing and it'll do nothing for your own experience, and when the sex isn't good you get blamed for it...you want to already know what you're doing in bed before you meet the girl you want to impress, plus when you're young you always think you're much better than you are because you can stick your thing in a whole back and forth, before you realize how psychological and emotional it can be combined withthe physical later on, and how to bring them all together...you've got a ways to learn in the bedroom, you should get started now!

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Feelsgoodman Established Member

Feelsgoodman

Posted
Posted
While people do get attacked in London, this is not the USA thank god

Please. London is just as bad. The only difference is that you get stabbed instead of getting shot.

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Different spin on this, consider never going into a strange environment on impulse late at night alone. At the very very least, let a couple friends know exactly where you are headed and with whom to the extent you can. Maybe you did this, if so good for you. Also consider not heading into a strange environment with the intent of getting wasted. Was near strangled with a seatbelt, had a gun pulled on me and robbed, nose bloodied, lost my wallet, arrested for public drunk, all on different occasions around your age, together with numerous run o the mill uncomfortable and sketchy situations, before finally learning this lesson. Since you can't bring them home, always have enough money on hand for a decent "neutral ground" hotel room.

 

Technically it was neutral - it was a college campus I know well, considering it's slap bang in the middle of London. I have some good friends on speed dial anyway - who are crazy :laugh:.

 

I think there is nothing wrong with losing your virginity to a girl who is a bit more free with her love :) but there are nicer ones around.

 

She was quite nice though, she wasn't rude or anything, she was cool. It might still happen!

 

I honestly think you really screwed up on this one...it sounds like perfect situation for you and experience...she could have been teaching you quite a few things right now that would have gave you a potentially unprecedented amount of knowledge...i really get the sense you got gun shy and couldn't make her feel comfortable because you felt that way and probably overhwhelmed and scared to proceed with the deed at the time, which is just a shame If i'm being honest. These really are the sitautions whether people like it or not that give men a great deal of knowledge.

 

Unlike women, men kind of have to be the teachers or directors in the bedroom...at least that's the way I see it, so not engaging in this "dirty" situation is really a missed opportunity, trust me no one is going to judge you for this anyway in the future, this will all be in the past so what's the problem or worry? just wear a condom and go at it.

 

I really think this was the perfect girl for you...now if you meet a nice conservative girl it might be an easier paced girl to sleep with but you'll learn nothing and it'll do nothing for your own experience, and when the sex isn't good you get blamed for it...you want to already know what you're doing in bed before you meet the girl you want to impress, plus when you're young you always think you're much better than you are because you can stick your thing in a whole back and forth, before you realize how psychological and emotional it can be combined withthe physical later on, and how to bring them all together...you've got a ways to learn in the bedroom, you should get started now!

 

I doubt I'm going to meet a conservative girl any time soon :laugh:. A lot of the girls I've been interested in and are interested are anything but conservative!

 

I like your post though, in fact I like all the posts so far, they all have a different and interesting perspective on this so far, which kinda reflect my feelings on the matter. I think I did get a little gun shy, but I think the ease with which the situation presented itself was a surprise that threw me off a little. I wasn't expecting it!

 

I tell you this though - next time will be a different story :laugh:

 

While people do get attacked in London, this is not the USA thank god

 

People get attacked all the time where I live. When I was looking for venues for my business, I found a spot near where I live and nearly took it up - before my little brother expressly forbade me from setting up there - "Them areas there are peak fam, and don't tell anyone I'm your brother". Not worth the hassle!

Ross MwcFan Established Member

Ross MwcFan

Posted
Posted

How come you both changed your minds, did you just both feel uncomfortable with the thought of ****ing someone who is a complete stranger?

jobaba Established Member

jobaba

Posted
Posted
Was in my room chilling, and got into an IM with a cute Indian girl on OKCupid. Not long into the conversation, the conversation quickly became a sexual one. A couple of hours later, I decided to call time on it and proceeded to leave. Which prompted her to ask me if I wanted to come over for sex.

 

:eek:

 

I was not expecting this at all, considering this was pretty much the first convo we had. I requested a quick cam session to make sure it was legit. She was real. She was hot too. So I thought about it for a few minutes, got dressed, and decided to go for it. Sneaked out, left a note for my mum. Went to the 24/7 shop, bought some condoms and some alcohol, and jumped on the bus to go. Was a short bus-ride, but ended up in central, at which point, I was later than I said I was gonna be. So I reached and just managed to catch the girl before she was leaving. Right as I got to her, my mum called. Several times. I ignored at first.

 

This girl really was hot. We embraced (she had really soft lips :love:), I grabbed her bum (she was wearing no underwear :o). She was attracted but she said that while she had done a lot of things sexually, she hadn't had an encounter so soon with someone she had never met and only had one short convo with. I began to see her point. The entire way there, I was just thinking with my dick, almost paralyzed by anxiety, yet driven by the hardness of my erection. But I never even knew this girl or had ever spoken to her before and here I was, on a bus with a drink and condoms ready to have sex with her. At that point, I had changed my mind completely. So had she. We exchanged details and left it at that. I doubt I am going to contact her again.

 

[Mum left a text saying I was scaring her, so I had to call her and let her know. Typically, she freaked, getting all worrisome and crying, completely forgetting that I am a 23 year old man :rolleyes:.]

 

So after that long ass post, my question is this: Had everything initially gone to plan and we never changed our minds, would it have been a good idea for me to lose my V this way? Should I look for more opportunities like this, or simply go the more sacred route of in a normal dating/relationship setting?

 

If I were you, I would have tried to lose it then and there. Get rid of the social stigma of being a virgin. And it's pretty impressive to have a woman come on to you like that and lose it in that fashion.

 

But if you value your virginity to be something more special, more power to you.

 

I'm gonna catch some fire for this, but here is the absolute honest truth:

 

Sex isn't anything special. All through grade school, high school, etc., boys/men put it on a pedestal. It's this super glorious thing that we're all dying to attain.

 

Once you get it, it's more like "meh." It isn't all that it's cracked out to be. You come in thinking the world of the act itself, but once you do it, it doesn't live up to expectations.

 

The first time I had sex, it was also her first time. She took it more seriously than I have, I just high fived her as soon I as I "entered' and said, "we're not virgins anymore!" *high five*

 

The first time you do it, it is awkward, you really don't "know" what you're doing, and it just isn't that fun.

 

So basically what I'm saying is, don't think of sex as some super duper thing. You'll be disappointed. Just get it over with, it's not something that is life changing. Be it a casual encounter, or a gf of x months/years, it's not going to be any different. You're still entering your penis in her vagina and moving it in/out. It's not going to change the sensation.

 

Just my $0.02.

 

Absolutely. Especially sex with condoms pretty much sucks balls a lot of the times.

 

What you want is a regular GF and then the sex will be really good every now and then.

 

Other times, you're just like going through the motions. :bunny:

Bristolius Established Member

Bristolius

Posted
Posted

ThaWholigan,

 

Here's a scenario:

You meet her and bang her. Later, while she sleeps, you stumble towards the kitchen and find an underfed 6 year-old girl struggling to give a bottle to her baby brother.

 

True story.

SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

Posted
Posted
ThaWholigan,

 

Here's a scenario:

You meet her and bang her. Later, while she sleeps, you stumble towards the kitchen and find an underfed 6 year-old girl struggling to give a bottle to her baby brother.

 

True story.

Holy cakes!

I'd this real life?

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