Nearly had a casual encounter this week - is it the way to go the 1st time??

[fortyninethousand322]

Double standard is against the woman...Nothing wrong with casual sex.

 

Not in my book. It's a universal standard for everyone.

 

No one congratulates men on being loose sexually. Most people view male and female casual sex the same way.

 

You are the one who is imagining a double standard where none exists. At least not in this thread or any I've seen recently.

[mesmerized]

Not in my book. It's a universal standard for everyone.

 

No one congratulates men on being loose sexually. Most people view male and female casual sex the same way.

 

You are the one who is imagining a double standard where none exists. At least not in this thread or any I've seen recently.

 

Says the guy who thinks everything in world is "50/50". Get out more buddy, you'll know what Im talking about.

[sid3]

Says the guy who thinks everything in world is "50/50". Get out more buddy, you'll know what Im talking about.

 

Maybe the world is 50/50 and you just don't see it, one could say you should stay in more in order to realise it, just saying;)

[mesmerized]

Maybe the world is 50/50 and you just don't see it, one could say you should stay in more in order to realise it, just saying;)

 

Nah I studied my math well in school lol

[LittlePrince]

You don't want to lose your V like that....you want your first time to be with someone you really like

That applies to women only.

[fortyninethousand322]

Nah I studied my math well in school lol

 

Well not everyone can be a mathist or a countist.

 

The 50 percent rule has served me pretty well though. I figure if it ain't fixed don't break it. Yes, in that order.

[Cracker Jack]

Not in my book. It's a universal standard for everyone.

 

No one congratulates men on being loose sexually. Most people view male and female casual sex the same way.

 

You are the one who is imagining a double standard where none exists. At least not in this thread or any I've seen recently.

 

I don't think I've ever seen a man chastised for banging tons of women. Unless we're only considering online forums. Most men and women think promiscuous women are simply ho's, while men get high fives from other men for banging women.

[tigressA]

Good on both of you for backing out when you realized you just weren't feeling it. If you both change your mind and get together, that's cool (of course, use protection). If you don't/she doesn't, that's cool too.

 

My first time was a more casual encounter. I had become friends with the guy a couple weeks beforehand and we had messed around once or twice before. We never dated, we were just occasional f*ck buddies. That was the best way possible for me to rid myself of my virginity. He had been the first for two other girls before me as well, so I lucked out there--he knew what he was doing and the experience was quite pleasurable aside from the temporary pain.

[fortyninethousand322]

I don't think I've ever seen a man chastised for banging tons of women. Unless we're only considering online forums. Most men and women think promiscuous women are simply ho's, while men get high fives from other men for banging women.

 

Well, in my travels out in the world, male sluts are called male sluts. I've never high fived them and none of my friends have either. I don't necessarily "chastise" them, but I don't look and say "yeah that's a life I'd want".

[ThaWholigan]

I don't think I've ever seen a man chastised for banging tons of women. Unless we're only considering online forums. Most men and women think promiscuous women are simply ho's, while men get high fives from other men for banging women.

This is accurate in my assessments, except that guys who have lots of sex do not hold it against the women who do. At least the guys I know who have a lot of sex anyway. Some are quite harsh about them, but generally they don't speak too ill of them. One of my brothers even said, and I quote: "The world needs sluts, they make the world go around" .

 

And to be honest, so many guys are having sex where I am, that there's really no time to high-five other guys for having sex .

[Cracker Jack]

It's funny, because most of the dudes I know who are "all out there", are highly disrespectful towards them. Most of them even express how much they dislike them, yet they continue banging them. Despite getting some yams, some of them still be acting pissed that the girl is likely banging other dudes.

[Ruby Slippers]

This is accurate in my assessments, except that guys who have lots of sex do not hold it against the women who do.

Yeah, I think it's primarily the men who aren't getting any who are ticked off at women who are getting some - because they're jealous.

 

As for your issue, this doesn't sound like the best circumstances for your first time. But honestly, my first time wasn't all that great, and I got over that fast once I found a good boyfriend with whom I had a pretty good connection and sex.

[fortyninethousand322]

Yeah, I think it's primarily the men who aren't getting any who are ticked off at women who are getting some - because they're jealous.

 

Why does everyone keep saying this? Do sexually frustrated men really get jealous like that?

[ThaWholigan]

Why does everyone keep saying this? Do sexually frustrated men really get jealous like that?

Yes, quite a few of them do in my observations. I've noticed this anyway. Even the religious ones aren't as xenophobic.

[LittlePrince]

Yeah, I think it's primarily the men who aren't getting any who are ticked off at women who are getting some - because they're jealous.

 

As for your issue, this doesn't sound like the best circumstances for your first time. But honestly, my first time wasn't all that great, and I got over that fast once I found a good boyfriend with whom I had a pretty good connection and sex.

I know I'd want someone who I can relate to. A woman who has lead a very loose lifestyle isn't relatable. It isn't about jealousy. One of the key differences between what men and women look for in a partner is typically women want to date up or at least what they feel is an improvement over themselves, but men want a partner they can meaningfully get along with. The former often creates comical instability and incompatibility issues while the latter lends itself more to a long term and lasting union.

[fortyninethousand322]

Yes, quite a few of them do in my observations. I've noticed this anyway. Even the religious ones aren't as xenophobic.

 

I don't know if I count as "sexually frustrated" but I don't think I'd be "jealous" but rather insecure. Like I wasn't going to be good enough. I mean, I already feel that way around 99% of women, but I think around women who were confident in bed (or otherwise) I'd be really overmatched.

 

Don't get me wrong casual sex isn't something I'd be into (seems gross, and too "cold"). But it doesn't seem like something to be jealous of.

[ThaWholigan]

I don't know if I count as "sexually frustrated" but I don't think I'd be "jealous" but rather insecure. Like I wasn't going to be good enough. I mean, I already feel that way around 99% of women, but I think around women who were confident in bed (or otherwise) I'd be really overmatched.

 

Don't get me wrong casual sex isn't something I'd be into (seems gross, and too "cold"). But it doesn't seem like something to be jealous of.

That's fine, it's not your thing . I'm not even sure if it's my thing either . #

 

I really don't think you should be insecure around sexually confident women though. I understand it may be tough for you as it was for me, but you have to accept your current lot and see the bright side of it all. You're completely green. In a way, when you start to have sex, you'll probably be better off than a lot of guys who have a lot of sex but can't make a girl cum or orgasm. It's about the conquest rather than the actual sex for those guys. A sexually confident woman would probably be your best bet - she knows what she wants, and if she likes you enough, she'll show you what she wants.

 

Might be a bit of a ramble, but still. I would see the positive side in it all.

[LittlePrince]

I don't see the appeal in swap a mate arrangements. People who swing will always be swinging. People who swing will always be swinging for the fences and missing. It is a character flaw no amount of time or self help books can cure. The multi-daters you see here today will be here years later doing the same thing and if they find someone they won't be capable of making it last. They'll be out on the field again in no time.

[ThaWholigan]

I don't see the appeal in swap a mate arrangements. People who swing will always be swinging. People who swing will always be swinging for the fences and missing. It is a character flaw no amount of time or self help books can cure. The multi-daters you see here today will be here years later doing the same thing and if they find someone they won't be capable of making it last. They'll be out on the field again in no time.

Maybe they like it that way??

 

Not everybody wants to do things the way another person does. Everyone has their method to their own madness.

[LittlePrince]

Maybe they like it that way??

 

Not everybody wants to do things the way another person does. Everyone has their method to their own madness.

Just more people to weed out.

[ThaWholigan]

Just more people to weed out.

Good. Then you don't have to worry about them then! .

[somedude81]

So have you called her yet, any contact?

[borkus]

You passed up a golden opportunity. If you can't beat the computer game on easy mode, what makes you think that you can beat the game on hard mode. That indian girl was throwing herself at you and was leading the interaction. Then you changed your mind at the last second.

 

There is a big difference between not having sex with a girl because of your moral beliefs. You believe in sexual purity. In your situation, you changed your mind because it's a little too "swift". That sounds like lack of comfort in a sexual situation.

 

Based on your picture and your posts, I'm assuming that you're an attractive guy who has problems moving the interaction forward. Because you have problems moving the interaction forward, women lose interest and you assume you were never interested in that way. Because of your background, I think that you should have taken advantage of the opportunity.

 

What are you going to do when your dream girl sets the game in hard mode. I can see you in a party. You dream is talking to a couple of big guys. She glances and smiles at you before she returns talking to her male friends. The girl likes it when the guy pursues her. Do you think that you are ready. If you can't get the girl when the Indian girl sets the game on easy mode, what makes you think you can get that girl on hard mode.

 

A girl can get in a relationship by attracting a guy. A guy has to get in a relationship by attracting a girl and pursuing her. All the confidence won't help you on the dance floor if you are unable to lead the interaction and make the right moves.

[ThaWholigan]

So have you called her yet, any contact?

Actually we IM'd earlier, she wants to stay in contact but not interested in anything right at this moment she says. She said I can call her anytime later this summer as she'll "always be available". Says she likes my style .

 

So basically if I need a f*ck, I can call her......

[Ruby Slippers]

I don't know if I count as "sexually frustrated" but I don't think I'd be "jealous" but rather insecure. Like I wasn't going to be good enough. I mean, I already feel that way around 99% of women, but I think around women who were confident in bed (or otherwise) I'd be really overmatched.

I appreciate your honesty - with yourself and LS.

 

Many men who call sexually adventurous women bad names are probably incorrectly channeling an emotion. The guy is scared she will compare him to past lovers and rank him low. He expresses this as anger in a judging (=fearful) way.

 

But unless you have other reservations about dating someone with more sexual experience, I wouldn't worry about this.

 

I never evaluate a man just on sexual performance alone. It's one factor of many important ones.

 

And passion and a commitment to mutual pleasure is far more important to me than performance.

 

I believe that people are basically good in bed or not. Sure, you can learn technique - but the core traits of the person say how much passion and heat they're going to bring to bed. If you have that, the technique stuff can be learned very quickly. I've been a great lover since shortly after I first started having sex - because I love sex and learned fast how to please my partner and make sure I was being pleased. Anyone with a good level of passion and energy will do the same.