nanbullen Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 This is a great thread as it clearly details why NC can save you much unnecessary grief. I was just informed by a wonderful person on LS that although I did not talk to my ex for 2 years, checking her FB was still a form of contact. With that being said, it was the worst form of contact! Not only do most people post the photos they look great in, or show them having a good time...some also post new love interests, and/or cyber flirt with people. Needless to say, it was torturous seeing all of that! I suppose I (like most people) was hoping to see a post about how much she missed me, or something that showed how awful her life had become. I wanted to feel justified and/or put at ease that I was not involved with her anymore. After reading so many pro-NC posts here, I'd like to try it again... My concern is: being that, I am one of the most paranoid, sympathetic fools when it comes to this woman, (meaning I always think, if I disappear something bad will happen to her, or her family and I'll be the mean person that no-one has heard from, etc.) how do I begin the NC? Should I say, I think it would be better if we did not communicate anymore, unless something bad happens, or is that already implied after being with someone off and on for more than 8 years? I'm confused. You were NC but still checking her facebook page. What do you mean, how do you begin NC? You are already NC....just stop looking at her facebook page. Why would you tell her anything, she already thinks you're NC. I apologize if i misunderstood! 1
tryingtodiscoveranew Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 I'm confused. You were NC but still checking her facebook page. What do you mean, how do you begin NC? You are already NC....just stop looking at her facebook page. Why would you tell her anything, she already thinks you're NC. I apologize if i misunderstood! nanbullen...I probably should have explained better. Basically, when things got really bad after our break-up I told her it was too painful for me to hang out & be friends with her. So, at first I did NC for 4 mths straight. But, it didn't help at all. Deep down I was doing it to win her back. After breaking NC a few times over the course of 3 years (due to her having surgery and then me going through an ordeal, etc.), we ended up trying to date again. I was so excited...I actually thought the off & on NC worked! Needless, to say she ended up bailing on me after a mth., claiming she still wasn't ready and doesn't know if she ever will be because of her own issues. Now I just feel like I screwed myself, by dating her again. Because I made contact with her family and I reassured her that I would be there for her. I feel like if I do NC the correct way (like I should have all along), meaning no texts to check on her & the family, no checking FB (which I have successfully stayed away from for a yr. now ) and just completely taking care of me and my needs, I will appear to be entirely selfish, like she has been to me (which is horrible). I guess my question is, do I need to write a goodbye letter, send a card, or something explaining my decision, before I just disappear out of her life? You probably think I sound like a sucker for caring so much, huh?
Recommended Posts