Woggle Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Not all of them can be supermodels like Snooki. Some of them have to be Deena's. This is why I hate that show no matter how good it is for business. We are not all like that.
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 This is why I hate that show no matter how good it is for business. We are not all like that. It's okay Deena. It's okay. I understand.
Snowman219 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Well...that's certainly most men's "ideal", at least where I live. It's really been proven to me over and over. Even if you dismiss that look, a girl with an unattractive face will have hell of a time changing her face to be very attractive than a guy will have to achieve a great career. Take it from the great philosopher who once said, "You can't fix stupid." I think his name was Ron.
udolipixie Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Likely gals are held to a higher standard of not being concerned about her looks because from my experiences gals generally are held to higher standards. As well as holding guys to the same standard would likely result in claims of not letting men be men ball busting as it seems when male ego, male pride, or guys being viewed in any negative light is involved equal standards are unlikely. On justifying guys behavior towards and treatment of gals in regards to attraction then labelling a gal shallow/insecure for having questions, fears, or issues to me it's the commonly given 'shut up and deal with it as it may hurt guys feelings'.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Women evolved as a support system for the species while men evolved to further the species. All you are seeing is the expression of evolution within the culture of the species. I'm sorry LittlePrince but this makes no sense to me. Women only act as support systems for the species while men are the ones that actually further it? Are you forgetting that women are the ones that get pregnant? That they are the ones that also have a biological need/desire for the 'best" possible genes for the health of their offspring. Not sure I get what you are saying here.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 I don't know about the 'we' in the statements above. It is more correct, in my experience, that women are obliged to develop a thicker skin when it comes to their appearances because we are put on parade as marketing tools and worse. The fact that some men justify their poor choices based on some assanine 'biology' claim only indicates their lack of maturity in general. These men are easily avoided IRL once women know what to look for. It is just unfortunate for many women that they don't have strong female mentors and strong male mentors to help them sort that out. Okay, I can agree with this RedRobin. And I like what you had to say bout the importance of strong female mentors that can help younger women not fall pray to expectations.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 A woman is shallow and insecure when she thinks she has to "compete" with other women for the attention of as many men as possible. And no, that type of woman is not rare. There are many, many women who think there's some sort of "competition" amongst women for getting as much male attention as possible. But that's the thing. We aren't usually talking about women that are looking to get every man's attention. We are ususally talking about one woman who has these kind of issues with just her own boyfriend. She isn't looking for tons of men to be all over her. And it *IS* a competition when your own man is looking at all these other kinds of women, especially if he is infact looking at younger women or hotter women. This isn't to say there won't always be hotter and younger women. We all KNOW this. But that doesn't do much to justify why a woman has to deal with this in regards to her own boyfriend or the messages he is indirectly sending her. I don't get the impression that a lot of men want to take responsibility for the messages their behavior can send to the woman they have choosen to be in a relationship with.
zengirl Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 (edited) But that's the thing. We aren't usually talking about women that are looking to get every man's attention. We are ususally talking about one woman who has these kind of issues with just her own boyfriend. She isn't looking for tons of men to be all over her. And it *IS* a competition when your own man is looking at all these other kinds of women, especially if he is infact looking at younger women or hotter women. This isn't to say there won't always be hotter and younger women. We all KNOW this. But that doesn't do much to justify why a woman has to deal with this in regards to her own boyfriend or the messages he is indirectly sending her. I don't get the impression that a lot of men want to take responsibility for the messages their behavior can send to the woman they have choosen to be in a relationship with. But your assertion then assumes that all or most men are the type that'd be looking around still. I can say my experience and observation have never shown this to be true --- some men do that, but they are usually the type who are with the kind of women Oxy says, who want the attention of men based on their physical appearance. I don't think anyone is duty-bound to put up with their BFs looking around or that society in general tells us we should. ETA: You either choose to participate in that competition by consciously or subconsciously selecting such a man or you don't. So, it's generally bad behavior on both parts. I've never met a woman who had this problem who was not quite concerned with her own beauty and attractiveness to men, in general, or deeply insecure in general. Edited June 10, 2012 by zengirl 1
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 I thought I was the only one who thought DY was Jersey Shortie. The posting style is basically the same: generalizing women as always victims; the rabid anti-porn campaigning; generalizing men as being unfair victimizers; viewpoints are saturated in emotionalism and negativity; etc. Plus, DY lives on the East Coast and registered around the time Shortie disappeared. Hmmm. You forgot to mention that the posting style is the same because JS and DY are both intelligent, interesting, articulate, spelling-handicapped individuals that bring different insights then perhaps a more typical poster might! The JS/DY thing has already been talked about! This is not a big great conspiracy. A number of indivduals saw the light a long time ago. JS was banned because a certain mod did not like JS. JS misses her name greatly because she really liked that name. But JS is unable to have that name. DY has taken up where JS left off. And no DY did not "register" the same time JS disappeared. DY came back after JS wasn't around for quite awhile. Don't talk about things you know nothing about.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Not in this economy. Men have been disproportionately affected by job loss, especially if they are over 45. Women can get plastic surgery. Except I hear less and less everyday about women that are looking for a man to financially support her. I do not hear less and less everyday about men that aren't looking for the BBD. It seems like today women have to do it all, make money, pop out babies, stay hot (or not and watch their husband's wandering eyes)...men have LESS financial responsibility then ever before in romantic relationships. Women have MORE financial responsibility and responsibility to fit into a stereotype enginered partially by expectations of plastic surgery. I don't think that just because women can get plastic surgery that that means things are "easier" for women. I personally don't even like that the message women get is, "if you don't fit into this beauty ideal, just get surgery". That isn't healthy.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Well I live in America and where I am from the blonde types are not the ideal. Italian brunettes seem to be what most men chase after. I also see average women with very attractive men. Hugh Jackman's wife is average plus there are a few other famous men who have average wives. Who else Woggle? It is more common to see average guys with beautiful women then the reverse. Other then Hugh, what other actors have "average" wives.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 But you are from the Jersey Shore where fat oompa loompa women like Snooki are considered super models. When was the last time you saw a woman, especially on this message board, shout out put downs to a guy just because he didn't make tons of money like you just did about a woman you don't consider hot.
Woggle Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Who else Woggle? It is more common to see average guys with beautiful women then the reverse. Other then Hugh, what other actors have "average" wives. I am sure there are some more.
Badsingularity Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 stay hot (or not and watch their husband's wandering eyes) Men are going to look at hot women whether his woman is hot or not. This does not mean that he does not want, love, respect, cherish the woman he is with. I would expect my wife to look at a tall handsome charismatic guy with a bad boy aura about him. I don't care as long as she is with me. I don't have to be the most attractive human on the planet.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 I am sure there are some more. But you made it sound like it as a common enough thing that you would know of other actors who had "average" wives. If it was common, wouldn't you know a few more examples?
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 Men are going to look at hot women whether his woman is hot or not. This does not mean that he does not want, love, respect, cherish the woman he is with. I would expect my wife to look at a tall handsome charismatic guy with a bad boy aura about him. I don't care as long as she is with me. I don't have to be the most attractive human on the planet. Rarely is a woman ever asking to be "the most attractive human on the planet". Mostly it's about your man acknowledging, respecting and valuing your feminine beauty more then other women. There is not a woman from 5-95 that enjoys feeling beautiful to her man. Most women don't ask the whole world to lust after them like certain actresses and models. They just want their man to appreciate them and their beauty. If we are going to justify basis biology with the classic, "this is just what men do", then we have no right to get upset when women worry about the part their beauty plays in their man's life. Such as in another thread. People jumped on the female poster and told her how "shallow" she was. She is shallow because she worries about her own feminine beauty? Most women want to feel beautiful in some way. Yet we don't tell men they are shallow when they lust/ogle after other women. It's a huge distortion.
Woggle Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 But you made it sound like it as a common enough thing that you would know of other actors who had "average" wives. If it was common, wouldn't you know a few more examples? David Beckham is considered a sex symbol but most men don't consider his wife to be that hot. Denzel Washington's wife is not some swimsuit model.
Author Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 David Beckham is considered a sex symbol but most men don't consider his wife to be that hot. Denzel Washington's wife is not some swimsuit model. But it's not because Posh is "average"! It is because she was already beautiful then messed things up with a bunch of boob and nose (and who knows what else) surgery and is too thin. I can list 10 beautiful women with not beautiful guys for every handsome guy you can list with a regular wife.
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 David Beckham is considered a sex symbol but most men don't consider his wife to be that hot. Denzel Washington's wife is not some swimsuit model. The guy who owns Facebook doesn't have a hot wife either.
Woggle Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 The guy who owns Facebook doesn't have a hot wife either. Well he isn't too hot either. They are well matched. 1
xxoo Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Rarely is a woman ever asking to be "the most attractive human on the planet". Mostly it's about your man acknowledging, respecting and valuing your feminine beauty more then other women. There is not a woman from 5-95 that enjoys feeling beautiful to her man. Most women don't ask the whole world to lust after them like certain actresses and models. They just want their man to appreciate them and their beauty. If we are going to justify basis biology with the classic, "this is just what men do", then we have no right to get upset when women worry about the part their beauty plays in their man's life. Such as in another thread. People jumped on the female poster and told her how "shallow" she was. She is shallow because she worries about her own feminine beauty? Most women want to feel beautiful in some way. Yet we don't tell men they are shallow when they lust/ogle after other women. It's a huge distortion. Most men do value the beauty of the one they love above other women. But it seems a lot of dating is not really about love, but rather about having sexual relationships while trying to figure out how to find and recognize love.
mesmerized Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Most men do value the beauty of the one they love above other women. But it seems a lot of dating is not really about love, but rather about having sexual relationships while trying to figure out how to find and recognize love. This is true, dating scene for the most part seem to be a meat market. I had no clue it was this bad until I became single. There are very very few men looking for a genuine connection. I think it's much easier to find it as a man dating women and most of my guy friends seem to have no trouble finding it. But still I'm not a guy so I can't say for certain.
SteveC80 Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 ...we/people/society seems to tell women that their questions about their own looks and how it plays a role in their man's life only makes them 'shallow" and "insecure". But when it comes to men, we justify things men do or say in regards to women and their looks. Why do we hold women to a higher standard of not being concerned with their own looks when we don't even hold men to that same standard of not being concerned about their partner's looks? We tell women to "not be insecure" and be understanding about how men will look at other women or lust after them. We justify the way men sometimes behave and treat women and their bodies and looks in regards to their own attraction. But if a woman has questions and fears and issues in this issue, she is told either A) she is shallow. B) she is insecure. Its not about standards,most secure Men/ women realize a their partner can see an attractive women and notice as he or she passes by and yet still love and care for the person theyre with
gaius Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Who else Woggle? It is more common to see average guys with beautiful women then the reverse. Other then Hugh, what other actors have "average" wives. That's just because women are better looking than men in general. Sean Bean has a long history of dating plain women. Pierce Brosnan's wife is the size of a house. Clive Owen's isn't far behind. Sting's wife looks like she could fill in for the crypt keeper without much makeup. Does Barack Obama count as a hot guy? Those couples usually don't get much attention but it's shockingly common.
Woggle Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 This is true, dating scene for the most part seem to be a meat market. I had no clue it was this bad until I became single. There are very very few men looking for a genuine connection. I think it's much easier to find it as a man dating women and most of my guy friends seem to have no trouble finding it. But still I'm not a guy so I can't say for certain. Trust me it is not easier. Women say they want a genuine connection but try to have one with them and many will run the other way to go for some guy who humps and dumps them. There is a huge gap between what women say they want and what they actually seem to go for.
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