RedRobin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 No its not. Hell I am planning on getting with this hot cougar and its more than 10 years difference. 'getting with' and have a sincere relationship with an older woman are two different things. Most men have no problems 'getting with' older women.
veggirl Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I don't see a problem with a 42 year old guy dating a 32 year old woman. It's quite common where I live. I never said I see a problem with it, and I didn't use 40s and 30s as an example, I used 30s and 20s. 30 and 19...yeah sorry but I do think that's suspect, assuming he is an established 30, not a college student and whatnot still. Like for example if Somedude was dating a 20 yr old, I'd think they're likely close to being on the same page. If *I* dated a 20 yr old (I am 29) I would think wtf is wrong with me I am dating a child. Me too! I'm 23 year old and I've dated 33 year old and up. Age has never been an issue with any of them. Why? Because we shared the same goals, same experiences, same interests. IME, it's all about balance and compatibility. In relationships, I think you don't have to be on the same age, you just have to be on the same page. It's not about having someone that is close to your age, it's about having someone that you can connect with. Errr. Yeah. But you had the same experiences cause the dude was like grooming you from birth. No normal 40 yr old and 20 yr old (14??) have "the same experiences". 30 and 19 is pushing it, IMO. But like I said above, some may be more similar in maturity and whatnot...however I'd add that the reason they COULD be close in maturity is NOT because any 19 yr old is soo mature, it's because the 30 yr old is immature.
somedude81 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 30 and 19...yeah sorry but I do think that's suspect, assuming he is an established 30, not a college student and whatnot still. Like for example if Somedude was dating a 20 yr old, I'd think they're likely close to being on the same page. If *I* dated a 20 yr old (I am 29) I would think wtf is wrong with me I am dating a child. 30 and 19 is pushing it, IMO. But like I said above, some may be more similar in maturity and whatnot...however I'd add that the reason they COULD be close in maturity is NOT because any 19 yr old is soo mature, it's because the 30 yr old is immature. Yeah, that's pretty much it. I don't see myself as a 30 year old. The very thought seems ridiculous to me. I'll believe I'm an adult when I have a career, wife and kids.
mesmerized Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Yeah, that's pretty much it. I don't see myself as a 30 year old. The very thought seems ridiculous to me. I'll believe I'm an adult when I have a career, wife and kids. I don't have a husband and kids and I see myself as an adult. What a ridiculous thing to say. 1
somedude81 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I don't have a husband and kids and I see myself as an adult. What a ridiculous thing to say. *shrug* You're not me.
Derevko Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 If he frequents this website, he may feel your age of 25 is too big of a risk factor given that it puts you as a potential risk for "GIGS". I'm 33 and am leery about dating girls under 25. Its been my experience that most people - guys and girl - don't really know what they want out of life until those mid 20's are in the rearview mirror.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Before I started seeing the latest weirdo [look in BU section] I went out on date with an older guy. I liked him and it went well. But he seemed to think his 35 years was too old for my 25 years. I was like really? He messaged me about he was staying at his parents beach house to get away. Then unfortunately I never heard from him again. I was really disappointed. What kind of men are these? Any real dude would be honored to have any woman 25 and under into them when he's 35. Be glad he's gone!
RedRobin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 What kind of men are these? Any real dude would be honored to have any woman 25 and under into them when he's 35. Be glad he's gone! why 'honored'? Dating a much younger woman doesn't bestow special powers to a man. Most people in my circle assume he's foolish and shallow, and that the girl is naive, gullible, or desperate.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 why 'honored'? Dating a much younger woman doesn't bestow special powers to a man. Most people in my circle assume he's foolish and shallow, and that the girl is naive, gullible, or desperate. You can throw jabs all you want at the concept of an older man dating a young girl but I dont care. Having a young, beautiful woman that wants to please you and doesn't wanna give you problems in the relationship is like finding lost gold, no matter what you say.
RedRobin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 (edited) You can throw jabs all you want at the concept of an older man dating a young girl but I dont care. Having a young, beautiful woman that wants to please you and doesn't wanna give you problems in the relationship is like finding lost gold, no matter what you say. You can keep pitching your obviously one-sided concept of 'relationships' all you want. It doesn't sound like a real 'relationship' to me. Sounds more like a parasite/host arrangement to me... sucking the life out of their young host... then discarding them when a new host chances by. No doubt, that is 'gold' to lots of men with not much to offer a woman. ...but, as long as women continue to go along with it, there will be men with your tastes who will capitalize on it... of that we can be sure. Edited June 9, 2012 by RedRobin 2
kaylan Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 This type of vocabulary right here shows your youth. Interjecting nonsense terms such as "I was like" and "I mean" which add nothing to a sentence shows tremendous immaturity and he might have seen that the relationship was not going to go anywhere when a girl of 25 was still speaking as a girl of 15 would... You cant be serious My best friends dad is 41 and speaks like that when around friends and family. He says "dude" and "bro" a lot as well. Hes basically like one of the bros to the rest of us younger folks. When hes out in the work realm (works for the city, has an MBA for one of NY's top private universities) he sounds mature and professional. Its just an internet forum. You need to calm down.
kaylan Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 He probably didn't like you for other reasons and put the blame on age to make you feel less bad. You sure? Theres no way to tell. Even if I got on super well with a girl, my cut off is 4 years younger for the time being. Im 25...and girls under 21 seems like kids to me. I prefer a girl be at least 22, and my higher age limit is around 28. The different stages of life are too apparent to me with younger women and plenty of guys out there arent into really young girls. My best friends the same way. Hes 25 and does give women under 21 a shot in hell. Hes very mature and successful for his age, so hes always dated women his age or a few years older.
irc333 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 There's this one woman that I had taken a shine too recently, beautiful blue eyes, blonde and a sparkly personality. Age 51 (11 years difference) but I'm surprised at the kind of energy she has. I'm kind of on the fence about it due to the age difference. But I kind of go for her. Before I started seeing the latest weirdo [look in BU section] I went out on date with an older guy. I liked him and it went well. But he seemed to think his 35 years was too old for my 25 years. I was like really? He messaged me about he was staying at his parents beach house to get away. Then unfortunately I never heard from him again. I was really disappointed.
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 You can throw jabs all you want at the concept of an older man dating a young girl but I dont care. Having a young, beautiful woman that wants to please you and doesn't wanna give you problems in the relationship is like finding lost gold, no matter what you say. That might be an ideal but women of any age are primarily conflict oriented.
Author Sugarkane Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 He knew my age to start off with, so it's not like he didn't know. I think I'm a lot more mature than others my age. I don't find one night stands and sleeping around that much fun. I mean my coworker who is about the same age as him, is like 35 and COMPLETELY immature. She acts like a teenager still. She's never left home [she's Asian and they think you have to be married], parties, sleeps around and never has done further study ever. She told me she never wants to get married. She loves playing the field even though most people don't at that age and want to settle down. She's the most immature 35 year old I've met.
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 He knew my age to start off with, so it's not like he didn't know. I think I'm a lot more mature than others my age. I don't find one night stands and sleeping around that much fun. I mean my coworker who is about the same age as him, is like 35 and COMPLETELY immature. She acts like a teenager still. She's never left home [she's Asian and they think you have to be married], parties, sleeps around and never has done further study ever. She told me she never wants to get married. She loves playing the field even though most people don't at that age and want to settle down. She's the most immature 35 year old I've met. People lead different lifestyles. It isn't a matter of maturity but personality. I don't agree with her lifestyle and wouldn't try to be with her due to it but that doesn't make me more mature.
Author Sugarkane Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 I just found out my closest friend that has the same age difference relationship got engaged. Should I tell this guy that?
Author Sugarkane Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 And I know other people married at my age. So why haven't they gotten GIGS/ divorced yet? Especially my exes friends who married their first high school sweetheart and have never dated other people. Shouldn't they have GIGS by now?
Philosoraptor Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 And I know other people married at my age. So why haven't they gotten GIGS/ divorced yet? Especially my exes friends who married their first high school sweetheart and have never dated other people. Shouldn't they have GIGS by now? Some people can emotionally mature without dropping their lives. Some people mature at a very early age and never have the kinds of thoughts or actions associated with what people around here call "GIGS". I'd just wish them the best and be happy that they found the right person so early.
Author Sugarkane Posted June 17, 2012 Author Posted June 17, 2012 Some people can emotionally mature without dropping their lives. Some people mature at a very early age and never have the kinds of thoughts or actions associated with what people around here call "GIGS". I'd just wish them the best and be happy that they found the right person so early. I know that's what I've been trying to say on here.
veggirl Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Umm yeah my suggestion is he SAID he isn't interested because of the age gap, so accept that and start dating other guys. Pleading with him and trying to prove him wrong will only make you look desperate to him, and he's already told you how he feels--your age is a dealbreaker.
mesmerized Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Any suggestions? jesus christ! he said no to you and believe me it probably doesn't have anything to do with your age. Have some respect for yourself and move on. Perhaps he sees how clingy you are and that's why he doesn't want you.
ATrainofAngels Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 (edited) Is this thread a joke? I have friends around 35-40 and even older and they would kill to date somebody your age. Older guys absolutely love younger women. I know a 45 year old executive who routinely dates girls around 21-24 If an older guy didn't like you, there's something off with you or your connection with the guy. It's maybe 1 in a 100 in terms of older guys who don't like younger girls (I have yet to meet that one) Edited June 17, 2012 by ATrainofAngels
Author Sugarkane Posted June 18, 2012 Author Posted June 18, 2012 No this thread isn't a joke. I'm not clingy and haven't contacted him since the last time he contacted me. I just hate it when Guys say they'll see you again and tell you there will another date. and then nothing. Mixed messages.
Recommended Posts