Nextlane Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I'm going to keep it simple. Basically I found a smart, attractive girl/woman which I really like who 28 and I'm 24. She had the personality of an angel (attraction signs showing) and she was honest about her age (even though I had to guess). I do consider myself quite independent and mature for my age (a lot of my close friends are in their late 20s, early 30s). I would date her for the long run as she seems like a keeper. However my delimma is what she be thinking in terms of dating a young guy - society standards or believing I just want a fling. What do most older women thing in terms of dating younger men? I find it rare to meet girls at my age or younger who are completely over the partying stage of their life when going to social gatherings. Don't get me wrong about having fun, but that part of my life pasted many years ago...
gaius Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 They last as much as any other kind of relationship lasts. That isn't a huge age gap either, I wouldn't be shocked if most people didn't even notice she was older than you. I don't think any reasonable person would assume you just wanted a fling because you dated a girl 4 years older.
Radagast Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 My marriage to an older woman lasted about thirty years. I was younger than you when we got together, and I was her second marriage so perhaps the differences were more pronounced than simply a couple of years gap as yours is. I think it largely depends on the people involved. My mother is older than my stepfather, they have been together more than fifty years. My sister has been with her younger partner (8 years difference in age) for about ten years. All very happily, as they share interests and do many things together. My ex-wife and I on the other hand shared very few common interests and those lessened over time as she chose to age very quickly, preferring more "elderly" pursuits like knitting and listening to Radio 3 while I preferred a more active lifestyle, modern music and friends around my own age. I was not prepared to settle into middle age in my late 30s while she embraced "settling down" and watching gardening programmes on the TV were the highlight of her week. So we increasingly grew apart over time.
Krytie TV Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 When you start trying to predict others' thoughts and motives, you will get into trouble. How about just liking her and seeing where it goes?
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 My husband is 5 years younger than I.(55, 50) My grandmother, who was 11 years older than my grandfather, saw 56 years by his side. sorry, what was the question?
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 The gap is completely negligible. Why don't people ask if that kind of age-gap is ok or not, when the older person is the man?
USMCHokie Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 The gap is completely negligible. Why don't people ask if that kind of age-gap is ok or not, when the older person is the man? Social conditioning.
pteromom Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 28/24 isn't a large enough age gap to cause issues due to being in different places in your life, unless the 28 year old is incredibly mature, and the 24 year old is incredibly immature. So I'd say the chances of the relationship lasting are the same as any other relationship.
LoveAnimals Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Im 23 and i would hate in five years to be considered an "older woman" lol. Anyway I honestly dont think the age gap is that big at all, i say go for it
Radagast Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 I saw this article about women who marry younger men dying earlier. It might be worth considering.
TaraMaiden Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 From the article: So-called Cougars -- women who date or marry younger men -- may experience more stress and reduced health because they are "violating social norms and thus suffer from social sanctions," said Drefahl, who based his results on a study of 2 million Danish couples. No, I would say we experience more stress because our husbands may be only a few years younger than we are, but you might as well have adopted a 9-year-old....
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