PJKino Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 and DS swears women are judged more harshly on looks then Men lol 1
USMCHokie Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 But if a woman never lowers her standards than she will either always be single or people will think she is really shallow. So is lowering your standards really that bad? At least she won't be alone and will make some guy happy (if she is a nice girl overall). Her "standards" are based on one thing and one thing alone.
USMCHokie Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 When I saw someone good looking, I always lust over them and desire to date them. But it always happen and it happens to so many guys that I feel like something is wrong with me. When I see this good looking guy, I want to date him WITHOUT even communicating with him. Then another better looking guy comes along and I fell for this one. And what is that? Please tell me you have at least a modicum of intelligence to figure this one out on your own... 2
Leopard Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 (edited) Okay okay. Looks right? Let me tell you why you are wrong and why you set yourself up for how you think. Women's standards are composed of many things but men think it's only about looks because if she wants a hot guy then they tell her that her standards are "too high". It's never the other qualities either, men somehow always cling to the looks part. They don't realize that they are only confirming that hot guys are THAT scarce, because apparently even wanting one is "too high a standard". Then when a woman says "lower my standards", as in "settle for a guy not as good looking as I would like", she is still blasphemed because "who wants to be settled for"? Men say that a hot guy is a standard that is "too high" yet they complain that when we "lower our standards" to date someone more average. We are actually widening the circle of men we would date without focusing too much on looks, yet that is even worse to do. Face it, a woman's ideal will never be average, it will be above average. So why are you blaming her for lowering her standards? If she understands that this is unlikely to happen, why is she the bad guy for giving the more average guys a chance? You can never win. Edited June 14, 2012 by Leopard
ohmygoshistalk Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 when youre in your 30's you'll learn to appreciate the good guys.
Leopard Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 when youre in your 30's you'll learn to appreciate the good guys. If this is directed at my last post, then huh? What are you talking about, it's completely unrelated. If not then ignore
SteveC80 Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 If a women wants a hot guy it would help if shes hot herself
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Just to clarify something...I didn't say that I should lower my standards and date him. I mean that should I lower my standards when I'm looking for qualities in guys overall. I don't think I am any higher than this guy, in fact sometimes I don't think I deserve him. FYI, I am not a hot girl or anything. I just got average girl who is going to a school that is obviously less competitve than this guy. He will definitely get a lot of girls since he's not bad looking and he's really intelligent. Well, of course he does have to work on the way he dress and express sometimes. And also the reason why I hesitate when he ask me out th last time is because even though he was always there for me, asked me out many many times, and was always generous and caring even after rejections, I find out that he likes to talk to girls online. It's no harm but he does flirt a bit. And that is why I didn't date him because I don't know when he is serious and when he is not. I do miss him and that is why I want to give it a try
USMCHokie Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Women's standards are composed of many things but men think it's only about looks... OP also thinks its only about looks. And that is exactly what I asserted in my previous post: Her "standards" are based on one thing and one thing alone. I did not and never intended to apply that statement to all women, or even two women. Just one. Her. because if she wants a hot guy then they tell her that her standards are "too high". I'd say the exact same thing if she wanted a rich guy and couldn't get one...or wanted a super smart guy and couldn't get one...you get the point. A standard is a standard, whether it's based on physical or nonphysical characteristics. It's never the other qualities either, men somehow always cling to the looks part. OP also seems to cling onto the looks part, too. Go figure.
USMCHokie Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I do miss him and that is why I want to give it a try Next question...do you miss him, or do you miss the attention that he gave you...?
USMCHokie Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I mean that should I lower my standards when I'm looking for qualities in guys overall. You've only ever gauged a guy's value on one single quality...
ascendotum Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Good looks can get a woman into bed, and they definitely get your foot in the door when it comes to getting a girl. But getting her and keeping her are two different things. Good looks catch, but if greatness doesn't follow after (however you define greatness) then eventually the relationship will fail. L - I've know a few guys that would be 'Exhibit A's' when it comes to this dating perspective. I'm not disagreeing with you, but just that ^ is not such a terrible thing. For the most part they really don't seem to have felt any regret at all for the outcome of having had many failed relationships. I realise most women don't think like this, but for many guys, bouncing from one sexy & loving partner to another during their prime years is not a terrible outcome to have remorse over. Some of my good looking friends have screwed up or else just didn't care and lost awesome girls from their life numerous times, but there was no emotional devastation for them, because it was easy to find another girl just as great. (If their marriage failed it did hurt them, but they were not without sex for long which helped ease the pain) They eventually learn to get their **** together in their 30s and settle down with a good catch again. Being blessed with just good looks, does not mean you get the best partner/relationship/marriage but its a great starting advantage, plus these days can give a guy a lot of great memories even if you have numerous red flags for women. 1
utterer of lies Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I'm sorry if I did this wrong...I don't want hot guys, I just want him back. That's all. Call him and ask him over. If he comes (and, seriously, he probably will), kiss him. Problem solved.
Leopard Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I'd say the exact same thing if she wanted a rich guy and couldn't get one...or wanted a super smart guy and couldn't get one...you get the point. What?! Not once have I heard a guy say "Your standards are too high if you want a rich guy". All I have heard is "you are a shallow gold-digger". Not ONCE when a girl says "he needs to be really smart, really kind etc" not ONCE has a guy said "that's too high standards". It's always and only about looks. Always. If you can find another post on here where someone says a girls standards are too high if she wants a quality not related to looks, please post it here and prove me wrong. Because I haven't seen that not once, not on this forum or in real life.
ascendotum Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 ....... I find out that he likes to talk to girls online. It's no harm but he does flirt a bit. And that is why I didn't date him because I don't know when he is serious and when he is not. I do miss him and that is why I want to give it a try Its probably more of case of there being no chemisty (yeah that word) rather then the above I'd imagine. If he's generous & kind to you and asked you a number of times to go out with you, I'd say he's serious, otherwise he'd cut his losses and move on to an easier prospect. If he's single, there is nothing wrong with him chatting to girls online. He's doing the right thing and not vesting all his hope in you, and searching for a connection with other girls...having options is a good thing. Nothing wrong with flirting (unless he's in a relationship and his gf finds it disrespectful if he steps over the mark) with lots of girls....that's what's going to help him get a gf in the future.
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 Next question...do you miss him, or do you miss the attention that he gave you...? Hi, Firstly, thanks for all your posts. You've commented a lot in my thread and pointed out my mistakes, I greatly appreciate that! But please take note, there is another guy who liked me for almost 5 years and we are friends now. Never did I want his attention back or anything because I know I don't feel like that toward him. However, I want this guys attention back because I like him and I know it. i just never feel it until he is gone. Also, the attention he gave me is very understanding. He never showered me with gifts or anything. We just talk and he cared a lot about me, and that is why I want to keep this guy. Don't all girls want someone to care about them? If that is craving for attention, then what qualities should we girls look for in a guy. And yes, I do know that he should keep his options open. I want him to keep his options open. If he is just committed to me and I didn't give him a chance, I will feel really bad. I just hope he will stay committed after I give him this chance. He's the type of really flirty guys, who always help other girls and joke around with them. Two of my friends actually fell for him before. This is my first relationship, and yes, I know it is late. I really hope that my first will be a good and will be the right guy. I've rejected a generous amount of guys for my first and that is why I have such high standards for my first. As for me looking for looks, I do have to say I agree with you. I do look at guys for their looks FIRST but I believe that personality is more important. I would rather date a less attractive guy who I can connect with instead of a very good looking guy who doesn't connect well with me. I connect very well with this guy, well I used too. Now it seems like once we break the ice on our relationship, the connection is gone. We are left with awkwardness and such. I don't even know if I should start this relationship now. Like I said, he is going to Brown and I'm going to URI. Same state but definitely very different college environments. We have to drive in order to see each other in the weekends if we really date. Right now, I still haven't contacted him yet, but I guess I'm going to give it a try and text him anyways..just thinking what I should text first, any suggestions?
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 To answer your question, I wanted to say that I wanted to guys attention back because I liked him. I liked him for who he is and we really connect well. Of course I did fell for him because he cared about me a lot and that is the attention I'm referring to. If Im craving for attention, I can always go back to the guy who was there for me for 4.5 years. I didn't want and hope for his attention because I know I didn't feel for the guy who liked me for 4.5 years. We are just friends now. Girls do love guys who care about them and I don't think that is in anyway craving for attention. Also, I did not mind that he chat with girls online. I want him to keep his options open. If he didn't keep his options open, I will feel bad because then I will feel like I'm wasting his time. However I am just a bit worried that he will still flirt with other girls because he is a bit of a flirt. He likes to talk to girls a lot and he really likes pretty girls too (I'm not the only one here). I know that I'm his first option and I should trust him but I don't know since he's a bit of a flirt. He've stopped flirting with girls in our school after we started talking and that really showed me he cares. What makes me uncomfortable is that he likes to call girls pretty and such. I know because he gave him his password to hiss Facebook and I found out when I logged in one day (and no, I didn't hack him..he was next to me in lab and I went on for fun). It just makes me a bit uncomfortable...Also, this is my first relationship and I really wanted to make it work because I rejected a generous amount of guys for my first. I want my first to be special and the is why my standards are so high. I will try to contact him but I don't know how. If I call him it's going to be really awkward and I don't think he will bother.
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 15, 2012 Author Posted June 15, 2012 Sorry for the double posts.. I thought the first didn't went through. Just read the second one.
Eddie Edirol Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 You are just going to have to call him and risk the rejection. Otherwise you will never know.
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 I texted him today...and he emailed me back a video. I will post the video below. It is a video about a girl and a guy who is in high school. The guy liked the girl for a long time and the girl likes him back too. However, none of them tried to initiated their relationship to the next step. After a while, the girl went to a diff college than the guy and in the end, she married someone else. The guy was also at this girls wedding. I don't know what he is trying to say. He just send me the video and that's all, no words...nothing. :/
utterer of lies Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Really - you have no idea what he wants to tell you with this video? The guy liked the girl for a long time and the girl likes him back too. However, none of them tried to initiated their relationship to the next step.
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 16, 2012 Author Posted June 16, 2012 (edited) Sorry cant link the vid Edited June 16, 2012 by TooLate2Care
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 This is the video^. I really have no idea because the video talks about two people who loves each other but never end up together. So the director make this movie to show people that they should never miss out people they like or they might regret it. So, either he is saying we should not be like the couple in this movie and miss out each other or he is saying that we are going to miss out each other like they did in the video. I'm going to give up anyways since I replied to his email and he said that if we are meant to be, then I understand this video. So yeah, I just feel like it's over. Thanks for all your replies and i really appreciate it! Girls, if you have feelings for a nice guy, then go for it! Don't be like me. Nice guys do finish last.
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 21, 2012 Author Posted June 21, 2012 Oh, also, thanks Hokie for all the advices. They are not really nice but you really pointed out my mistakes. Thanks everyone :]
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