TooLate2Care Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Hi everyone, It's been 3.5 years since I really fall for someone. When I saw someone good looking, I always lust over them and desire to date them. But it always happen and it happens to so many guys that I feel like something is wrong with me. When I see this good looking guy, I want to date him WITHOUT even communicating with him. Then another better looking guy comes along and I fell for this one. It's like I'm never in love and I've only lusted over guys. The last time I think I really only love one boy is 3.5 years ago. I don't know if it has anything to do with my age, I was 15 back then. Maybe when you are little, you are more loyal...I don't know. I've liked that guy for 3.5 years without liking someone else. It's hard because I never fell for nice guys. -_- I've had 2 of the nicest guy in my life. One of them liked me for 4.5 years and had been there for me. He did everything I ask him too and was there whenever I was in trouble. He was the perfect guy that every girl wants. He loves me for who I am, no matter how I look. If I need something from him, it is safe to say he will do it. If I'm mad at him, he will apologize no matter if he is wrong or right. Then there is this other guy, who liked me for 2.5 years. We can talk about almost anything in the world. Guy 2 was like my best friend. Over the course of 2.5 years, guy 2 confessed his love to me for almost 6-7 times already. Every time he did it in a jokingly way (because he doesn't want to lose our friendship) but I know he is serious. The last time, however, he did it very seriously over text. He told me he loves me and things and how he likes me for who I am. I had feelings for him too, but I wasn't sure of it, so I didn't accept him. I don't know if I only liked him for the attention he gave me, since he always find a solution to all my problems, or because I really like him. Well, we don't talk anymore and I still hold on what we had. I'm unsure if I see a future with him though. I hate myself so much. It's like if the guy is hot, then I will go out with him even if he doesn't do those things. But if the guy is not hot, then I can't find myself falling for them, even though they are average looking and not ugly. Do you girls out there ever feel that? I might give the guy a chance, but I don't know if he likes me anymore. Sometimes he will still look my way in class but he doesn't do it often. He used to do it a lot, so is he hurt or is he losing feelings for me? We are in the awkward mode so it is hard for us to communicate. However, I can still feel that bond between us. He tried to initiate a conversation with me the other day but I kind of ignored him. So the questions here are: 1) Does guy 2 like me anymore? 2) Is there something wrong with me? I don't seem to have feelings for just one guy anymore...is this normal? If yes, how do you cope with it? 3) Do you girls really prefer good looking average guys over really nice but not as good looking generous guys?
USMCHokie Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 You're 18. This sounds like par for the course...hopefully you get over it sooner rather than later. 1
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 What do you mean part of the course?
USMCHokie Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 What do you mean part of the course? Par for the course = normal. And it's interesting that you title your thread, "Should I Lower My Standards"...because you value looks above all else, you consider reevaluating how you judge standards...that is, you should be raising your standards, and looking for qualities beyond the physical to establish those standards, and in doing so, you will see that the quality of men you date will increase... 1
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 I do now. I don't know if you read the whole thread. I want to give this guy, who is not the best looking guy, a chance...but I don't know how to approach him anymore. I just want advice on how to get him back.
somedude81 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Either you are 16.5 years old, or your a troll. As for your question, lower your standards.
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 I really did. =[ I'm not a troll. I just want to know how to get a guy back who used to really liked me and is now in awkward mode with me...please. He's going to somewhere for college in 2 months...I have no time.
USMCHokie Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I want to give this guy, who is not the best looking guy, a chance... First take an honest look at yourself and answer this question: why should he give you a chance...?
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 I really don't know. I know I don't deserve a chance. I just miss him and I will treat him right if he only gives me the chance. Everyone makes mistakes....I know I made a big one and I came to realize it too late.
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 You know what...nice guys do finish last.
USMCHokie Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I know I don't deserve a chance. Then why would you ask him for one? I just miss him and I will treat him right if he only gives me the chance. Define "treating him right"... Everyone makes mistakes....I know I made a big one and I came to realize it too late. Yes, they do. But you would have never learned this about yourself until you made that mistake. There will always be another...
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 Yeah, I want to. Except he told me last time that that is the last time he will be asking me out, so I don't think he likes me anymore...I wanted to say yes last time but I wasn't sure and I was scare that I will make the wrong decision.
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 Also, we already graduated. He will be going to an Ivy school in Rhode Island next year and I will be going to URI. It's just that we probably won't see each other because we go to diff colleges. We are still in the same state, but it's different. I don't know how to approach him now, he doesn't have a facebook an d he doesn't go on MSN anymore. I have his number but I can't just randomly call him. What can I say if I call him anyways? We've been through 2 awkward months of not talking.
USMCHokie Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Also, we already graduated. He will be going to an Ivy school in Rhode Island next year and I will be going to URI. It's just that we probably won't see each other because we go to diff colleges. We are still in the same state, but it's different. I don't know how to approach him now, he doesn't have a facebook an d he doesn't go on MSN anymore. I have his number but I can't just randomly call him. What can I say if I call him anyways? We've been through 2 awkward months of not talking. Go to college and have your fill of hot guys. They will shower you with so much attention your head will explode. Then reassess your life situation after college. Seriously.
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 I'm sorry if I did this wrong...I don't want hot guys, I just want him back. That's all.
Leopard Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Good looks help A LOT, but if the guy is a d*ck, then they won't save him. The most he could be good for is a one-night stand (and even then you aren't guaranteed he is good in bed). Then again, if you do most of the work it doesn't matter I find it more common for a man to be amazing but average looking, which also doesn't help his case. This kind of guy is usually friend-zoned. So it's either empty hotness or incredible average-men. It's a lose-lose most of the time. (And by average I mean whatever is average to you, something that doesn't exactly hit the spot). It's really hard to find a good looking guy who is also amazing.
sid3 Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 It's really hard to find a good looking guy who is also amazing. And its even harder to find a good looking girl who is also amazing and not crazy
USMCHokie Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 It's really hard to find a good looking guy who is also amazing. Not true. It's just hard for the women who put the priority on men to be good looking and consider amazingness to merely be an "also" or ancilliary bonus (as you have above). These women oftentimes wouldn't even be able to recognize amazing if it punched them in the face...
mesmerized Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Take it out of your system now. Nothing wrong with being visual, not at your age anyway.
Leopard Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 And its even harder to find a good looking girl who is also amazing and not crazy Yup. It's just hard for the women who put the priority on men to be good looking and consider amazingness to merely be an "also" or ancilliary bonus (as you have above). These women oftentimes wouldn't even be able to recognize amazing if it punched them in the face... A man who is hideous but amazing would shine more than the hot douche. He wouldn't be as appealing on the eyes, but he would not be overlooked. He would simply not be seen as a dating prospect. Good looks can get a woman into bed, and they definitely get your foot in the door when it comes to getting a girl. But getting her and keeping her are two different things. Good looks catch, but if greatness doesn't follow after (however you define greatness) then eventually the relationship will fail. Looks are always first priority because it's the only way we can pick from a group of people who we potentially want to date (same with men, you pick who you find good looking). If personality could be on display and as evident as looks, then a lot of us would have saved ourselves a lot of wasted time. Maybe that fact that women have put "priority on men to be good looking" just shows how desperate they are for a hot guy. If looks are more of a priority than personality, then clearly the problem isn't finding a great guy, but finding one who is good looking. Some women are willing to put personality on the line just to get some good looks. I guess that's how scarce hot guys are
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 13, 2012 Author Posted June 13, 2012 (edited) nevermind.... Edited June 13, 2012 by TooLate2Care
Author TooLate2Care Posted June 14, 2012 Author Posted June 14, 2012 Sorry for the previous post. Well, apparently, I get what most of you are trying to say. Most of the girls are too blinded by the good looking guys that they don't realize the nice guys and in the end, often regret about it. Many girls complain about not finding a guy who treats them right, but what they don't realize is that these guys do exist in where they chose to put them, the friendzone. I am one of those girls in the past and I have learned my lesson. I will do anything to try to get this guy back, and I'm here to look for some ideas or plans that might be able to let him know how I feel.
USMCHokie Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I just realized there's one more reason why you don't deserve this guy...the whole premise of your thread here is that you're asking if you should "lower your standards" to be with this guy... That's surely something any guy would love hearing: "Oh hey, I decided I should lower my standards so now I'm willing to be with you! Hooray! :bunny:"
Leopard Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 I just realized there's one more reason why you don't deserve this guy...the whole premise of your thread here is that you're asking if you should "lower your standards" to be with this guy... That's surely something any guy would love hearing: "Oh hey, I decided I should lower my standards so now I'm willing to be with you! Hooray! :bunny:" But if a woman never lowers her standards than she will either always be single or people will think she is really shallow. So is lowering your standards really that bad? At least she won't be alone and will make some guy happy (if she is a nice girl overall).
Recommended Posts