ex who dumped me contacted me out of the blue after 6 months

[meatnachos]

hello,

someone give me strength here please.

 

i was with this dude for almost 2 years. he was 17 years my senior (44 when i met him) and was the first man i loved. it was a passionate relationship but at the end it was obvious it was over. i had a bad feeling about 2 months before it ended and suggested we split. he didnt want. the last week, he completely avoided contact with me. he ended it in a really cowardly way: via email saying he wanted to go out and have 'good times with friends', he didnt meet any one, he wanted to stay in contact, etc. when i demanded we speak, we did via video chat. last thing he said to me was he wanted to be friends, we'll talk later, etc. i never heard from him again despite the fact he knew my mom was recently diagnosed with cancer.

 

let me tell you: the silent treatment is the worst punishment known to mankind. i literally felt like i was dying, couldnt sleep because i had no closure as to what happened. i lost my best friend. i contacted him 3 times after: the first time i was civil and basically looking for closure because i refused to believe he was this big an *******, second time i wrote some angry stuff i shouldnt have, third time i apologized for my angry email and just wished him well despite his silence.

 

2 months after he ended it, he started posting quotes on facebook: "you cant trust women bc they are all liars" "young pretty women dont like me" "women are like weathervanes: they only stay in one place when they start to rust" and posted love/broken heart songs. so obviously he got involved with some young hottie dumped/rejected him. however, he never added anyone new on facebook so who knows how long he was with the girl. after i saw this fbook stuff, i defriended him because i was basically crying every day and i knew i was re-traumatized myself by looking at his profile. ever since this relationship ended i've basically lost all confidence in myself. i was so traumatized that i honestly have no interest in men or sex anymore. yes, i know i'm depressed..

 

cut today. he sends me a message very very brief essentially saying: i just wanted to hear news, i understand if you don't reply

 

my question:

why is he contacting me now?

he doesnt even say he's sorry.

obviously i shouldn't reply but i'm extremely tempted to just say 'why?' because i literally got no closure with this person and i want answers.

 

i'm assuming hes just bored and wants an ego boost?

someone help me

Edited June 9, 2012 by meatnachos

[Philosoraptor]

I'd gamble his relationship with this new lady isn't going so well. It's always nice to have somewhere soft to land.

 

You do realize that you're causing your own pain here right? Closure truly does come from within and if you were not so focused on his life you wouldn't have to worry about what his facebook or anything else looks like... as you wouldn't check.

[YellowShark]

I'd gamble his relationship with this new lady isn't going so well. It's always nice to have somewhere soft to land.

 

Quoted for truth.

 

Any man over 22-years-old who is *still* on Facebook is not a man worth worrying about meatnachos. Seriously.

 

*REAL* men don't do Facebook. Really they don't. They have better things to do with their lives.

[spicolli]

I haven't posted on here in a while but, just because of how incredibly ignorant the statement, "real men don't facebook" is. If its sarcasm, then I appologize, but that statement is insane. I'm 29, I still have facebook and boy oh boy I hope I measure up to your standard of a real man (sarcasm at its finest.) How about real men don't smoke cigarettes, real men don't watch football, real men don't. Eat with their fingers. You can pigeonhole any group, but you may want to remove your personal vendettas and not force your views upon people like that. There is likely a variety of reasons her and ex didn't work out, his being on facebook at age 44 isn't one. People come here for real advice, not juvenile typecasting.

[spicolli]

Apppologies for the diatribe, getting to your question. My first instinct is that it is indeed an ego boosting thing. As others have, his current relationship may not be going well and he is looking for something familiar. Who knows. I was in your situation a few months back, and just asked point blank why I was being contacted didn't get the answer I wanted, so I went right back to NC. He left you, you owe him nothing, protect yourself at this point.!