KaiYA Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I'm 19, and this guy I've known since I was 15 asked me out. He is 30, and I told him I would think it over because the age gap is pretty big. We both know it would be awkward to explain our relationship(if we do date) with our family and friends, and I dont want them to get the wrong idea of me or him. I really do like him, but at the same time I feel funny about it. I usually don't date older guys, so I'm apprehensive. Should I give it a chance?
Philosoraptor Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 If you feel like there could be a good match then go for it if you'd like to. If the age is too big of an issue for you then just continue to be friends.
mesmerized Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 He's most probably in it for sex. Why would he want to be with someone who hasn't even gone to/finishesd college yet? Most men his age avoid that unless for sex.
kaylan Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 ^What she said. I wouldnt be trying to date a girl much younger than me especially if I knew her when she was a teenage kid. Thats just me though. Id feel like I had an advantage over her.
spiderowl Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I think I'd be very wary of a 30-year-old guy asking a 19-year-old out. Why doesn't he ask women his own age out?
udolipixie Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 (edited) Probably best suited not to give him a chance as it's a bit off to me that he considers dating a gal he knew growing up. Not off as in uncommon as I doubt many guys would consider a gal saw grow up or even raised as off limits once they find her attractive rather off as in finding it unsatisfactory for a relationship. Probably better suited to regulated you apprehension towards older guys if you're marriage minded or interested in committed long-term relationships leading to marriage. Edited June 9, 2012 by udolipixie
Sid6.7 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 He's most probably in it for sex. Oh knock it off. So is she. Go for it. 1
SJC2008 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I'm 30 and I don't even know if I could sleep witha 19 year old, if I did I'd feel guilty about it. A 30 year old has no business going that low in age.
Author KaiYA Posted June 9, 2012 Author Posted June 9, 2012 Oh knock it off. So is she. Go for it. No im not. Im a virgin so Im not interested in that yet.
Author KaiYA Posted June 9, 2012 Author Posted June 9, 2012 Probably best suited not to give him a chance as it's a bit off to me that he considers dating a gal he knew growing up. Not off as in uncommon as I doubt many guys would consider a gal saw grow up or even raised as off limits once they find her attractive rather off as in finding it unsatisfactory for a relationship. Probably better suited to regulated y ou apprehension towards older guys if you're marriage minded or interested in committed long-term relationships leading to marriage. I prefer long term relationships. Ive never been with an older guy, so Im not sure if he has the same mindset or is just trying to into my,pants.He doesnt seem kike the type that uses people. He is sweet and caring.
udolipixie Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I prefer long term relationships. Ive never been with an older guy, so Im not sure if he has the same mindset or is just trying to into my,pants.He doesnt seem kike the type that uses people. He is sweet and caring. He likely has an interest in a long term relationship with you due to your youth. No different to me than a gal wanting to be with a guy because he's rich and wouldn't have been with the guy if he didn't have X amount of dollars. If you consider him relationship material and not put off that someone who say you when you were a child wants to get in your pants go for it. In my opinion a gal's youth is a great asset and tool to use to get long term relationships with older guys. 1
gaius Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 It's impossible to tell what his mindset is just because he want's to date a younger girl. Since you seem into it enough to spend time asking our opinion, I would let him take you out on a few dates in public. See if you can get over that awkwardness of dating an older guy and see where it goes.
irin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 sometimes young girls think if hes older means more mature more serious, and older guys see younger girls and think have some fun with her. i personally wouldnt go for someone more 10 years older. i see no point in being with someone with so much more life experience then me, hell probably be able to manipulate me, besides i want someone to grow with me.
Author KaiYA Posted June 9, 2012 Author Posted June 9, 2012 And don't think for ONE minute that your virgin status isn't part of the appeal for a 30 year old man interested in a teenage girl. There are tons of guys that get off on being the "first" for a young woman. Ugh thats what Im worried about, and he knows Im a virgin and had a weird reaction to it.
Feelin Frisky Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I thought I posted an answer earlier and it seems to have disappeared. So, FWIW again, a 19 year old seeing a 30 year old is not unheard of. You are of age and if he seems to be a decent guy who won't be a headache to get rid of if it doesn't work for you then it's your call. Some guys of 30 act like 19 year olds. Good luck.
zengirl Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 In this case, I find it absolutely bizarre since he knew you since you were 15. However, there is not a lot of other info to go on. Generally speaking, I have never met a respectable 30-something who thought dating teenagers was a good idea and most of the people I've met who date that young as full-blown adults tend to have some 'issues' --- however, that's not to say my experiences are universally applicable to everyone. I'd be wary, but you know the guy better than us. 1
LittlePrince Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I'm 19, and this guy I've known since I was 15 asked me out. He is 30, and I told him I would think it over because the age gap is pretty big. We both know it would be awkward to explain our relationship(if we do date) with our family and friends, and I dont want them to get the wrong idea of me or him. I really do like him, but at the same time I feel funny about it. I usually don't date older guys, so I'm apprehensive. Should I give it a chance? Please give me a chance.
LittlePrince Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 No, but seriously by the time a man is 30 the kind of women closer in age are in relationships or are too involved with kids from previous relationships and ex drama to start a life with. 1
O'Malley Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 (edited) How did you become acquainted with this man? I'd take into consideration why anyone significantly older than you would want to monopolize a 19 year old into a relationship, especially someone that watched you grow up. A 29 year old dating a 40 year old isn't a big deal, as they would be expected to have similar experiences of life and realizing the consequences of independent decisions. You may have had relationships, but not had enough negative experiences to figure out the more questionable motives that some individuals have. The difference in emotional maturity and focus should be vastly different for you and this guy; he can't realistically expect that you are at the same stages of life. If he truly is looking out for your best interests, I'd have expected him to be far more hesitant about getting involved with you. I'd also watch for any signs that your youth is your primary appeal for him. Edited June 9, 2012 by O'Malley
LittlePrince Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I'm 30 and work at walmart. I'm going to college in the fall. Am I at the same "life stage" as a 19 year old? 2
Disenchantedly Yours Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 A 29 year old dating a 40 year old isn't a big deal' date=' as they would be expected to have similar experiences of life and realizing the consequences of independent decisions./QUOTE'] I don't know. I think someone 29 dating someone 40 is a big deal. Not AS big deal as 19 and 30 but 29 and 40 year olds are at different stages of their life regardless. Tred carefully OP. I am kind of grossed out that he knew you at 15 and now wants to date you at 19. keep in mind that older men that date younger women aren't thinking about the day when you will be an older woman yourself. Would he still want to date you if you were 30 too? Be very mindful of how he thinks of women his own age and women in general. pay attention to the comments he makes about women. Does he complain about them? Does he talk about how they don't "stay in shape"? I am personally leary of men that are established into adulthood but look to date teenagers.
Author KaiYA Posted June 9, 2012 Author Posted June 9, 2012 How did you become acquainted with this man? I'd take into consideration why anyone significantly older than you would want to monopolize a 19 year old into a relationship, especially someone that watched you grow up. A 29 year old dating a 40 year old isn't a big deal, as they would be expected to have similar experiences of life and realizing the consequences of independent decisions. You may have had relationships, but not had enough negative experiences to figure out the more questionable motives that some individuals have. The difference in emotional maturity and focus should be vastly different for you and this guy; he can't realistically expect that you are at the same stages of life. If he truly is looking out for your best interests, I'd have expected him to be far more hesitant about getting involved with you. I'd also watch for any signs that your youth is your primary appeal for him. When I volunteered at my mom"s job. He worked in an office next to my mom, so they were pretty close...they still are. He used to always come over till I went to college for fall semester. I always had a crush on him, but he really is in another stage of life.He already found himself, anf if we do date I dont want to bore him with my minor problems
Author KaiYA Posted June 9, 2012 Author Posted June 9, 2012 A 29 year old dating a 40 year old isn't a big deal' date=' as they would be expected to have similar experiences of life and realizing the consequences of independent decisions./QUOTE'] I don't know. I think someone 29 dating someone 40 is a big deal. Not AS big deal as 19 and 30 but 29 and 40 year olds are at different stages of their life regardless. Tred carefully OP. I am kind of grossed out that he knew you at 15 and now wants to date you at 19. keep in mind that older men that date younger women aren't thinking about the day when you will be an older woman yourself. Would he still want to date you if you were 30 too? Be very mindful of how he thinks of women his own age and women in general. pay attention to the comments he makes about women. Does he complain about them? Does he talk about how they don't "stay in shape"? I am personally leary of men that are established into adulthood but look to date teenagers. I havent really thought into that. I havent notice any signs of negativity towards women, but I havent spoken to him in depth like that yet.
Author KaiYA Posted June 9, 2012 Author Posted June 9, 2012 No, but seriously by the time a man is 30 the kind of women closer in age are in relationships or are too involved with kids from previous relationships and ex drama to start a life with. Yeah, thats true, but there has to be single women who doesnt have crazy exes or children who are like in their mid twenties. Im not getting what makes me so special when their are women out there his age that are bubbly as me and are willing to do stuff with him sexually.
Miss.Misunderstood Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 It's just a date... It's not like he's asking you to marry him. I say go for it! You'll know pretty quick if he's only wanting a booty call or if he really has some feels for you. It's wrong to judge a guy based on his age and just assume all he wants is sex. 2
Recommended Posts