amymurphy123 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 I'll try to make this as short as possible. So I was seeing this guy back last June, not exclusively. He had just came out of a 2 year relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious, but we never had sex. He's 20 and in college and came down and saw me every weekend. I'm 17 and in high school in a different state. After a couple of months he told me that he didn't want to string me along as he wasn't ready for a relationship right now and that we should just be friends for now. Obviously I thought that that was just a line and dismissed him but a couple of months later he started texting me again and asked me to meet up, we did and he explained how he did actually care about me but its just so complicated with him being away. He casually mentioned about us getting together sometime in the future but I didn't put much pass on it. I saw him again the following two weeks but then he had to go back up to college. It's been continuing like that ever since (seeing him every month or 6weeks) he hasn't been in town much but whenever he does he always texts me to meet up. He says he cares about me and that he does miss me and that he will stop contacting me if I feel it isn't fair on me, but that he doesnt want to do that. he says that it annoys him too that we both like each other but that there's not a lot we can do about it until he finishes college. It makes sense, but I can't help but wonder am I just being naive? And should I question his motives more? I would especially appreciate some male insite here!
greenz Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Male perspective here. I think he likes you, but isn't very serious. He's come out of a relationship so he doesn't really know where his place in life is right now. If you do start any intimate relationship with him, it will only probably lead to hurt feelings. If he really wanted the relationship, he would pursue you more so don't give in. If this behavior is bothering you then cut ties. If you think he's a decent guy and can throw any expectations out the window, why don't you just tell him that the way things are is too difficult for you to have a relationship, but that you would like to be friends and still hang out with him when he's around. That will take the pressure off of things. You guys could actually get to know each other as friends and still have fun. Chances are that what he really needs is a friend. And when the pressure is off and you get to know each other, you will either realize that you're best as friends or that you really are into each other. When guys are like this, they just want to be put out of their misery. He likes you, but thinks that you're in love with him so he thinks that he's doing you a favor by hanging out with you when he's not really ready for anything. He doesn't want to hurt you. If you put an end to it cold, you will do him a favor. If you can tell him you still want to hang out as friends, that will probably be even better. But do whatever protects your feelings. Don't give into his sappiness.
greenz Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 It could also be that he's playing games and has another girl back where he goes to college and is basically trying to plant seeds in different places. He may be doing this willfully. If you offer him friendship and he's still not happy about that and either continues to whine or dismisses it entirely, I would be very careful about his intentions.
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