nukiwi Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Hi, I am new here and started visiting this site about 1 week ago. My wife of nearly 8 years is leaving me as she "had enough" but really it is about another guy. Little story, will try and make it short as possible. She is 41 and I am 33 and we have a 5 yo girl together. She has 3 kids from previous marriage. I will come clean and say I have been not the best towards her and her kids in the past, mostly as different morals and also that I never liked how she hanged with teenagers and listens to that kind of music and spending time on FB. We had many arguments in the past just like everybody else and few times I did threaten her to leave (never really meant it, was just venting) She has a diary which funny enough she has written only the bad things about me and not even a single good thing. I am loyal and caring and love her so much I admit she is the rock and my anchor. I have no family here and adore spending time with her, she is my best friend too. Lately everything was going so nice, we had been going out more, movies etc, and I was helping more with our daughter etc. Then one day (12th May) after returning from movies I can't remember how it started really but she dropped it: "I love you but I am not in love with you". that shocked me but being a guy I just thought it is just female talk. The week that followed after mother day which me and our daughter got her a card and breakfast in bed, she started being really ****ty towards me for no reason. Then on 19th of May she said she was just going to stay home and blob, rest. I took little one out and we came back later, she was constantly on her iPhone. The next day 20th of May she said she was going out on her own (she rarely does that) but because my birthday was on 22nd and I assumed she was going to get me a cake and a present I was happy. Gut feeling though noticed that she put more effort on her makeup than usual. I went to clean up our iPad and see if the little one had messed anything and to my surprise my wife was still logged in and on one of her logs talking to her daughter she said she had started talking to this guy but didn't want me to know. Little side story here, this guy she had been friends with 10 yrs ago before she met me and they had 1 physical contact but we had talked about our previous partners so she always felt she was used at the time due to him being younger than me. Ultimately that had put the nail on her first marriage too although she hated her ex coz of his drug & drink & gambling issues. As you understand after I saw the logs on the iPad I flipped, her mom was there and saw it and I got ****ty. I started calling her non stop, she would not reply. i had enabled the "find my phone" feature on her phone long time ago so I started tracking her and saw her going to shops etc then stopping at a place she had no reason to be. I got in the car and went there, there she was talking to him in the car. Half of me wanted to go and bash them but rationality kicked in and I just made a comment "Having fun?" and took off. she came later on at home where i was crying like a baby. She said she was sorry and that she always had feelings for him and met in person to put them behind once for good (lie) and that he was here due to a funeral (lie) she even offered me "make up sex" which I declined. At night she started giving me couples and after me saying to her she has to choose me or him she said she is mind fu**ed and does not know what to do. Just the idea of me being an option killed me. In the morning she said to me "I have a beautiful family, daughter and a loving husband. I am not leaving it for another man." I got happy somehow. The next day was my birthday 22nd May and in the morning (we both had taken time off work) and in bed I pleased her (as in not full intercourse). she was happy, we went out for coffee, got my cake, I said to her I wanted to re-marry her, she looked happy but bit strange. She arranged some counseling and said that the first session will be on her own as had some issues to resolve with herself. She came and met me at work for lunch the next day and said she had been there and they suggested her to change few things (get her parents out who currently have a motorhome parked in our house and start getting our daughter to sleep in her own bed as she slept with us) and try for 6 months how it goes. I was upset as it sounded like a deadline but agreed. Next days I was texting her like usual but her texts were full of (!) and no words (love, hun) like in the past. I went home and said to her can't she even say a nice word, she deflected by saying she was busy. She was being nasty towards her parents as well as apparently that guy had come back while we had just married and her father told him to walk away. Her mother assured her though that her father did tell her 3 days later. She felt bit better. Then on a sunday about 2 weeks ago she said some one was at hospital but due to memory I recognized the name and it turned out was the brother of that guy, so I confronted her how she knew about it (as I had requested she stopped talking to him while we do counseling) she denied initially that it was him but then gave up and said "well we are just friends", I said you are not friends with someone you told them you love them (as she had admitted the other night and when i tried to walk away she BEGGED me to to leave her). We started talking for hours and she basically started saying how we talk about the same things all the time and she is bored and she feels we are just mates, basically she broke up with me right then and asked me if I will be ok, I started crying and bit later she hugged me saying, don't worry, I will stay with you, you win!, I will look after you. I was shocked and asked "you staying coz you feel sorry for me?" She deflected. We went to bed cuddling but I could not sleep and did my first mistake. Send him a message on FB asking nicely to walk away as we are happy and what happened 10yrs ago was past etc. then I went to her FB and found some messages that nearly killed me. If you read in the start you remember how it started with that comment on the 12th of May, well she had started talking to him on 11th of May and basically telling him not to run away and how she loved him with whole heart and soul. I threw laptop in front of her and told her How can you do this to me!. She just stood there, then got ready for work. This is where I did mistake number 2, I was fuming and talked to her father on how she had been talking to this guy and how she lied that he was here for funeral and taking me on a rollercoaster of emotions. He was not happy. In the morning I texted her at work and she was saying she was not sure if it would work as id never trust her again and she can't trust me for breaking her privacy, then she got really ****ty that her father knew and told me to f off and its over. Next few days I begged her on my knees, I cried, told her not to ruin what we have and she is making a mistake out of lust and think of our daughter. Her parents told her to think carefully about her actions. As of now she has distanced everyone, me her family and as far as she is concerned its over and she is moving out shortly. She is constantly on her phone texting him. I am devastated, I can't eat, sleep, work. Cant function and feel SOOO LONELY. I try to hate her but I love her so much, all I wanted was a chance to work it out. She is even starting to exercise more, eat better and tells me how she gets compliments at work. I hate the thought of some other man touching her. I have nightmares. Swears she would never cheat on me so she has not done anything physical yet and she just gonna see how it turns out with him. Its fair to say I will not get her back ????? I am a dead man walking and would do anything to get her back. How can she be so cold?
Author nukiwi Posted June 9, 2012 Author Posted June 9, 2012 Update! Well there is no return now. Not sure if I mentioned before but she staying at her daughters house and since I had few hours work Saturday morning she took our girl shopping and when they came back my daughter said she met mums friend! She already introduced her ti him!!! I was fuming. Then at evening I had to go to a quiz night to take my mind off and before I dropped my daughter there at the house she staying I saw her car in town. Later on I took my daughter to her and when I picked her up 3 hrs later my daughter told me he had been there all the time! Watching tv with her other kids! I felt sick to my stomach, still am. She is such a horrible person. What can I do to stop exposing my daughter to him as my wife even does not know him!
viktorious11 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Man, first of all, I FEEL your pain. It is the deepest, most hurtful un-imaginable pain anyone could feel (well, I'm sure losing a loved one is worse, but in a way, you did lose that loved one, but they are not gone forever they are HAPPILY WITH ANOTHER MAN. That has got to be worse. I dunno....). It's just devastating. I'm in the same exact boat. The old I LOVE YOU BUT.... It stabbed my heart to bits. I want to BEG and BEG for her back but I'm afraid it is only pushing her farther away. My advice to you is THIS. Go rent a nice red, convertible and next time you show up to pick up your daughter, invite an attractive female friend of yours to hop in with you. See how SHE likes it!!! haha But, seriously, you need to just move on and show her that you are happily moved on without her. I honestly think that is the ONLY way to get them back. It is so hard. I can't even get myself to do it. The thought of her just running off with her new guy is TOO much for me to bear. But then again I don't want her back with me cuz she is SORRY for me. that's not right either. It's just gonna be tough, my friend. It's gonna suck donkey balls. You are going to go through pain. Lots of it. Your guts are gonna be oozing out of your throat. You are not going to sleep well at night. But you know what else will happen? Life will move on. You will have grown from all of this pain and you will learn more things about yourself. You will be forced to stay active and get your mind off of her. Maybe one day she'll come around. Maybe by then you'll not want to have anything to do with her. You may not be able to picture that now, but work towards that. Be happy without her. It's the only way she'll WANT you back. 1
Author nukiwi Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Thanks for the reply and sorry to hear you are on the same boat yourself. Last nite I was so angry I thought it helped me in a way to forget her but then I could not sleep ( have not slept properly for 3 weeks). Today it got even worst, I missed her soo much I get anxiety attacks and I am afraid I am developing that phobia where I feel suffocated & panic when on my own inside home. Don't know how to describe it, never seen our house so cold, quiet, empty. I am looking after my daughter and struggling to devote my full attention to her. Wife has not even bothered to contact me today at all and ask how her daughter is. Nasty thoughts going through my mind as to her she is and what she is doing with him. He has all the characteristics that she always hated, I don't get it. I'd be happiest man in the world if she came back but not sure anymore as I don't think I can handle it if she has slept with him. Did I mention how much I miss her company and touching her. I threw myself into the family life to the extend that I didn't made many friends or going out much as I don't drink anyways. I need help to be able to eat! I try so hard and I can't eat. I go out to forget and all I see is couples holding hands. My heart breaks. Always thought only my daughter would brake my heart. I am following the NC advise but can't see that working as I still have to talk to her during this transition time. I seriously think she has got a medical problem, everyone that knows her inc. her parents agree that it is completely out of character. I wonder what she meant by " you went the wrong way to winning me" !! What does that even mean, it's not a game! I can't even cry as I'm looking after the little one. Don't even know if she is coming tonite. I'm not religious but I have been praying for a chance so much.
standtall Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 (edited) Nuk. So, let me get this. You were not the best husband emotionally, so your wife has found that in another man. She has professed her love for him, he is local, she has physically met him, she has been intimate in the past with him, she has not stopped contact with him, and she is leaving you and moving out. A couple of things,. 1. What more do you need to see? 99% chance she has been in a PA with him recently as well. 2. Women do not love men that they do not respect. This s*** here she came later on at home where i was crying like a baby. Next few days I begged her on my knees, I cried, has got to stop. All it does is drive her further away from you. Man up, start the 180, and at least act like your moving on and don't care what she does. I know it hurts, but she will soon realize that she is making a big mistake. There is not much of a sellers market for unfaithful, 41 yr old, 2 times divorced women with 4 kids by 2 different dads. Make sure you tell her that too. Personally, if I was 33 yrs old, I wouldn't take her back. You can do much better..in most cases. Edited June 10, 2012 by standtall 1
Author nukiwi Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Standtall, thanks so much for the reply. I see what you are saying. I'd like to pointy out though that it's a fact She has not been in contact with him until last month via FB. He is not local and as a matter of fact he has no car or job or house. There is a reason for that as if he works he has to pay child support to his own kids and also got lots of indications that he is a drifter. She has had chances in the past to try and get hold of him but never did. Also the fact that she again didn't came home last nite and I assume she was with him although cannot confirm, has not made contact as yet to ask about her daughter that's the scary thing. You are right about they don't love men that they have no respect. I wish I had been to this website before I begged. And you are also correct that I have better chances than her and as much as I love her she is not the best looker around either. I'm trying the 180 atm an hopefully it helps me as I said Before I don't think I can take her back if she slept with him an came back. Your reply's give me strength. Much appreciated
Author nukiwi Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 Update! For those who have been following my story, I got confirmation from her own son (14) that he did sleep at their house with her. WOW, didn't even have the decency to go to a motel but chose her kids house while they were there. No morals whatsoever. At this stage there is no turning back for me even if jesus himself begged me to take her back. She is dead to me and I found other lies she had been hiding. I guess I feel sorry for myself in a way that I was lied, deceived all this time and the person I loved was a waste of space. I will keep updating the post if necessary. I will need some support now though from you guys.
Author nukiwi Posted June 12, 2012 Author Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) Update! Today. Today we had counseling (not separately) and things started good but ended with her screaming and trying to put dirt on me. I said to them I had deep concerns about my daughter's upbringing with this person I don't know (she even doesn't really know). I said to them that I would of not been pushed to this if she had not rushed it the way she did, she could of waited until she moved out and slowly. She blamed that on me too! wow Also told them her morals were questionable. I had been to the police the day before to do a check on him fearing for my daughter and although they could not tell me exactly they did have a record on him. W said it was just a simple home detention coz he was being smart to the cops. Also W was trying to convince us that he only does dope on occasion and he would do it away from everyone and also that he is more of a casual drinker now. I was thinking yea right! She kept telling them I can't cook and that little one was listening to the crap I was saying about her over the phone to her sis. We went back and forth for awhile and me trying not to argue until she went crazy when I mentioned why she should take the car? (I have a company car I use). She started saying nasty things like biggest mistake to marry me and that I am lucky she is offering me this deal as everything belongs to her and I had nothing but a suitcase at first. I said to her she can her the car in the end and was happy to have an agreement for shared custody (although I am really scared about my daughter and the environment she is going to be). I asked her just before if her sister was picking little one from school, she replied "No" so I texted again "well, are you picking her up then?", reply was short again saying "yes". She then sent me some nasty txts saying that "after the counseling these are her days with her daughter and not try to interfere with her arrangements as I am stepping boundaries and causing confusion and if I carry on she will go to courts and push for full custody and then I will see my daughter once a fortnight!" I replied calmly saying "I just wanted to know if I was to collect her from her sis or not", she replied with "its my week so poke nose out!" Wow, no one has been that nasty to me before in my entire life. I need some advise! What should I do? Edited June 12, 2012 by nukiwi
Mindfu Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Man I can not believe you are seeking more sympathy from strangers LOL your pathetic and a liar. Your story has few gaps and people there are two sides to a story Start with you told me for the first 3 yrs of our marriage every month you was going to leave me! You did nothing it was not different morals it was different culture your Albanian I'm a kiwi/English way diff from morals you moron! After the first 3 yrs it went to every 3 months you going to leave me then every 6 months yes even xmas just gone may last year and Xmas 2010 we split for 2 months coz you yet again said you leaving I was happy it over but u never had the balls to leave coz you attached to me from your mothers apron strings to mine! ok when he first came here I was finishing a course so would leave at 8 to walk kids to school then walk to course then walk home in my half hour lunch to cook for him then walk back to course then 3 walk to pick kids up then home. In the new year I started working and did the same but what was diff was he was new to nz so could not work so I ended up doing work 8 to 3 then another 2 nights a week night tutor and then worked weekends to support us all I barely took time off. I got preg with our daughter and he decides he wants out comes to my work causes a scene and I have health issues in preg cause of his bull****! So we go to new town city and he not working so I work full time come home to have our 1 yr old shoved at me " it's your turn" so I'm breast feeding and having to cook his highness dinner pre-prep littles ones day feeds for him to heat up for her during the day yet he does nothing. Heaps more crap but it would turn into a novel. 18 months ago when we opted to spilt he told me in the end he will stay but if I want to go out and it's to do with my other kids from first marriage then count him out I am to keep that side of my life away from him and he will only go out with me if it's only our daughter and him! My first marriage split because he was and is a drug abuser a alcoholic and a gambler he almost cost us our house because of it he was a emotional abuser also. This guy was a mate I was helping him with his relationship issues and not sure how it happened but we grew close my marriage was over but my husband at the time would not leave yes I had a one moment with this man he was everything a man should be Tender loving caring strong a rock and dependable he instinctively knew what your doing and right by your side completing it with you no need to ask. But alas he was young and I told him needed to be there for his son so although I was single and loved him with all my heart he let him go. As they say if you love someone let them go and if they love you they will come back and that he did but was too late I had met and talked to this fool on internet and so we met up and marriage within a week of him coming to nz. My mistake was I was looking for the same things the man I loved in someone else and thought I found it with this fool but over time it proved to be wrong qualities is not the person. And so on seeing this guy again I realized I had made a huge mistake as I was still as deeply in love with this man even after 10 years. Also this fool woke me up at 4am by banging laptop on bed next to me he kept waking me all nite and I had to get up at 5 to start work. I told him I'd stay because yes I felt sorry for him it my fault he in nz. But also cause he didn't just look sad he looked pathetic lost wounded soul and I was deeply sorry for doing tht to him. But after all his bull**** he pulled and dragging my parents into it after he been told by a counselor to keep our marriage issues between us he dragged them my sister into it even when I begged yes BEGGED for him to not tell my mum as she has and is still in hospital with heart issues he has twisted things to get sympathy and my own family turned on me! What a nasty person can do that and try to then get sympathy from his work collegues and ppl on Internet come on guys two stories two sides. All I did was have a coffee with this guy and tell him I still love him. He made a drama out of it ! And he accessed my iCloud account to use find iPhone several times not only this once and I didn't not spend longer on make up coz he sat and watched me other days and spent same amount of time on it. Lol Dumb frigging arse
Mindfu Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Oh and let's talk about how you tell me that we are so different if you met me on street you wouldn't give me the time of day coz I'm the type of person you dislike and your only with me coz of our little girl your stuck and too old to bother to start again! Oh yeah and how bot when I piss you off when I tell you bot ur driving etc or something else you tell me you are sick of me and you just want to grab my head and smash it on dash board blah blah Or how you make comments like " you can see how a man can loose it and stab his wife 30 times " you are demented and obsesses on that criminal bull****. And just cause I've been out a few times with my sis or adult girls and mum to the movies that it's enough I've had some freedom time to cut it out and give it a rest no more! Oh tht was like 4 weeks ago you told me that. I broke it from you coz you are a knob. You did not cherish something great so someone else came along and grabbed it with both hands and showed me awesomeness and cherished me and he only did that after we split and you calling my son 14 yr old son and grilled him about who was at house and if he stayed the night etc so wrong ! Your an arsehole and trying to turn my family against me and talking our 5 year bot me and this man like she an adult is wrong too. I am so sick of your spoilt brat bull**** and lying to ppl and twisting and fabricating stories to get ppl to feel sorry for you. Pathetic arse I hate you more than ever! All you have done is harasse me to loss weight etc you never been happy with me and the only reason this split has effected you is because for this once I ended it I took the power away from you got some balls and ended a sham of a marriage ! And Bonus for me one great guy is there waiting for me when I am ready for a relationship! Grow up get over it you are no longer in control of me!
Mindfu Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I was never unfaithful to him !!! I had a coffee and we talked he is a control freak and weak I am sick of being the rock of the family! The go to person for everything and being the person I am I tend to put up put up until I just blow Yes he needed to harden the **** up! We had been split for two weeks and I spent some time with this guy he is not in town he lives else where. I have never been unfaithful to him!
Mindfu Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 So you now say I'm not the best looker hahahahaha Thnxs in the last two weeks you showed your true colors for real! And of course I always knew you preferred the blondes coz you always got lost staring at them and forgetting I'm standing next to you talking! You hated the fact I didn't get slim after our bub and made comments on I need to lose weight Well guess what **** for brains in 5 weeks I have gone from a size 14 to a size 12 and still losing it. I couldn't lose weight coz I was miserable with YOU! Oh and for you all to know I'm a 41 yr old with 2 adult girls who give me full support and the go girl to date this guy and a 14 yr old son who thinks this guy is great and my 5 yr old likes him too. And he is 30 and everything you could not give me ! He has asked me out and you know what I am now dating him!!! And I can do this coz I am single and free to do this and if I want to sleep with him I will! And I am moving in with my daughter so its not just her house get facts,right ! Stop bull****ting ppl with half truths you moron!
Mindfu Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 What a load of crap. I looked after her on the sat while you worked moron and then u expected me to drop my plans so you could go out at last min. Your own fault she spent evening with me and him coz you did not respect agreement u had her fri to mon morn. And i never rang sun cos you was texting me nasty bull**** textes and i did not want to get into a fight with you! Man i can not believe the crap you are posting you sorry good for nothing arsehole. And if you wanted to win me back. You could of for Once acted like a real man and stop crying and begging me for 5 mins and stopped coming into my bedroom at night waking me up asking me If i changed my mind yet. The way you twisted **** to manipulate everyone to feel sorry for you and turn my fam against me for pay back only made Me more sure of ending it with you and drove me to his arms for Comfort. But my fam are not against me now! And i am not medically **** up lol i just woke up and saw the **** for what it is! Stop Looking for excuses and stop blaming him for our break up And man up to the fact you could not give me what i needed. We are not suited ad you have told me for 8 yrs and i was sick of living a ly !
standtall Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Wow..somebody's spouse found this website. Hey mindfu..if you're offended, it was not intentional. I only post based on the information that I had at that moment, which was your husband's. There is always 2 sides to every story, with the truth lying somewhere in between. I'm out here on this thread. Perhaps you 2 can find a website where you can verbally fight online.
Radu Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 So you now say I'm not the best looker hahahahaha Thnxs in the last two weeks you showed your true colors for real! And of course I always knew you preferred the blondes coz you always got lost staring at them and forgetting I'm standing next to you talking! The way you reacted on this thread shows what a 'mature' parent you are. You hated the fact I didn't get slim after our bub and made comments on I need to lose weight Well guess what **** for brains in 5 weeks I have gone from a size 14 to a size 12 and still losing it. I couldn't lose weight coz I was miserable with YOU! Oh and for you all to know I'm a 41 yr old with 2 adult girls who give me full support and the go girl to date this guy and a 14 yr old son who thinks this guy is great and my 5 yr old likes him too. If those 2 adult girls give you support with cheating on your relationship, then they were not raised right ... by you. Presenting your 5yr old and 14yr old to this guy you know for a very little time who does hard drugs shows what a basket case you are. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but this right here shows you are not a fit parent. And he is 30 and everything you could not give me ! He has asked me out and you know what I am now dating him!!! And I can do this coz I am single and free to do this and if I want to sleep with him I will! You already slept with him and you were in an Affair [emotional affair] with him before you said 'we are through'. This is infidelity, this is an affair. A great example indeed for the kids. And I am moving in with my daughter so its not just her house get facts,right ! Stop bull****ting ppl with half truths you moron! And you are a mother of 4 ..... christ.
Mindfu Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 Lets just say he has been pushing my boundaires for 3 weeks to an extent i have had enough how dare he even lie and fabricate what has happened. I dont care what you all think! This fool told me when this all happened there will be pay back this crap is my pay back turning my family against me is pay back too. I tried to be nice i hugged cuddled and sat with him everything contrary to what he been telling you all. My reaction is pure anger at how our joint counseling went he lied to you all bout that too. I did not start screaming at him LOL he says im cleaver with my words but he is laying this on pure thick for you guys LOL and your all too dumb to see it. I even left him to feed my fam with bull**** coz if they cant come to me And ask me my side then i dont need them in my life do i? My parents supported him cos he had no family in nz and so i left it be i didnt poke nose in or tell my side and i jst kept seeing my own personal counselor who tells me that.. My exhusband is a controler he who accessed my iphone icloud account (breaching my privacy) since the day i got iphone to track where i am on a reg basis where is the trust??? I never gave him any reason to mistrust me! Oh and yeah is it a crime that i can converse with all ages i guess its a skill i have which made me a damn good tutor for youth and adult students but to him i needed to grow up coz listening to a bit of hip hop or rock was immature ! And he ran me down for being on fb or playing silly games on fb to kill some time! Or the fact i liked to watch movies or run down my life when i was younger coz i drank etc. yes i was a binging alcholic 15 yrs ago but i cleaned up and have not drunk in 15 yrs i have walked a hard life and made some really positive changes and have some along way. My error was trying to be nice to this person and trying to help Him into a better life by marrying him. He didnt have mates in nz coz he didnt and dont like nz'ers he opted not to have friends although i tried to encourage him to make friends not to make be his life yet he clung onto me. He likes nz he thinks the ppl are di**ks his words not mine! So if you have had 3 weeks of harassment sleep deprevation coz of contact waking you up during the night while you need to sleep and start work at 7. Yes i work and care for my family yes i am a non drinker dont do drugs and dont smoke! This guy im seeing is NOT doing hard drugs this is rubbish he is lying and assuming because he has tattoos and an eyebrow piercing LOL come on dont mean crap loads of ppl are tattoo etc and dont do hard drugs! In fact this guy has offered to do drug test to prove it! And said he will do My ex for defamation if he continues with this slander and running me down also. I do not want to argue with him i just want him to stop writing this crap all over the place and telling ppl lies and stop bull****ting my family. My mother has a heart condition and still in hospital with a blood clot and this arse is still stiring ****! Yes so i reacted when i went to go on ipad and found he was still logged into this site and wrote all this crap on here after our counseling session that day his nasty textes over the weekend and telling me not to go visit my own mother in hosp coz she wont want to see me (crap coz i txt my mother and she asked me to come see her) and and finding out results of my mother yesterday and 3 weeks of mind playing games from him i lost it I admit it i lost it big time and ranted because i am so angry and hurt right now i never realised his depth of nasty spitefulness he could stoop too. My girls are good they dont drink or take drugs i am very proud of them they have seen what this guy has put me through and they say go for it coz their words and the words of mates who do know me. Is you deserve to be happy for once so go for it girl! As my counselor says i am a giver and i attract takers ! I give give give give and i get nothing in return im sorry he is hurt but i had nothing more to give him im tired and exhausted and even when i was working full time and running the home and taking our 5 yr old to karate he would still not once get up in the 8 yrs to let me sleep in! WOW Lucky me this mothers day was the first time he actualy got up And made an effort coz every other time he would say im not his mother. !! But its all a little too late. He always slept too 12 or 1 pm while i tip toed round house so he could sleep in every weekend and hols. He would get up and expect us to be ready to jump to go out LOL never mind i was exhausted from my week of work etc So yeah mate judge all you like but you havent walked in my shoes and ppl In glass houses should not throw stones. ! Read between the lines see past my angry retorts and you will see the bigger picture and standtall i dont want to argue with him i just want him to leave me alone. My counselor has been supporting me and showing me how he would be feeling etc and made suggestions for me to help him but he do t want to help Himself and i grew tired of the battle and struggle with trying to reason with him and if this other guys is playing me coz im a giver then fool Me aye ill take a concrete Pill and harden the fick up and get on with my life if it turns to custard but either way im being true to myself by leaving someone like my ex! A negative spiteful Controlling person! You have no control Over me so let Go! Leave us alone and stop this slander or i will take this website to a lawyer and texts and have you done for defamation.
jwi71 Posted June 12, 2012 Posted June 12, 2012 I never gave him any reason to mistrust me! This guy im seeing is NOT doing hard drugs this is rubbish he is lying and assuming because he has tattoos and an eyebrow piercing LOL come on dont mean crap loads of ppl are tattoo etc and dont do hard drugs! In fact this guy has offered to do drug test to prove it! And said he will do My ex for defamation if he continues with this slander and running me down also. OP, If you are still reading here is her admission of an extramarital affair. You are clearly still married and she is, per her own words, "seeing another guy". Simply file for divorce, the reason is her affair as she admits above. Ignore her legal threats...if her lover wants to sue you, let him. Gather as much evidence as you can, file for D and fight for custody of your daughter - again, print these web pages out and use them against her in court. Good luck
Mindfu Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 Ok this is nz you cant file for divorce for two years hence we are still legally married but separated !! Not having an affair when not with him lol Two he cant even cook or get organized bath wash brush her teeth so how can he take care of her full time its always been my job but nice stirring and of course he wont get custody since he tried suicide by taking pills in front of his daughter courts wont rule for him to have her in fact they may end up giving full custody to me and put him supervised visits so he better be careful. Coz i have txts and other evidence to back me. This is not about taking custody its bot working as a team to make it work for our daughter and minimise the damage i offered shared custody with flexibility to suit both half the house lot etc im trying to be fair. But he makes it hard and you not helping by stirring and winding him up. Your nothing but a stirrer with a lot of bad advise that would and could cause terrible mental damage to a sensitive child! Good on you!
thatone Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 honestly, you're their mother, the kids don't have a chance. and you're married, you don't have privacy and boundaries. but that aside if you married a person you met a week before you're both mental.
Mindfu Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 We talked via internet for 18 months b4 he came to nz but yes now lookg back it was a bit spontanious. We have had a roller coaster marriage mostly my emotions and feelings dragged through him stayin no going no leaving No staying no leaving etc. I ended my marriage with him on 30th of may we separated. I have never been unfaithful! And i am just exploring a friendship with this person every other weekend. How could i have seen him b4 he only came bak to north island 3 days b4 i fb him! LOL You are all grasping lol you can not blame my marriage break down on him when it was broken 18 months ago! And tht was broken by him! He always was the one to end it like 18months ago i was resolved to it being over i put up for yrs him saying its over and it killed something in me over the years i now realise he destroyed any love i had for him respect etc our last split 18 mths ago jst turned into a friendship rather than a relationship! We lived sep lives and only recently started Gg out but it was like hanging with a mate ! And sex lol wham bam thanx you not! So not giving details but 7 yrs of that i was rather happy to be Asexual.
Mindfu Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 And every one deserves privacy you sound like an arrogant pig u 2 would make good mates! If it was the guy who ended it then started up with a chick you all would hale him a hero LOL Your all pathetic !! And for you who started this stupid lying post I hope your happy now! Maybe once we have own houses and i see if can get early divorce you may grow up and stop playing games coz no girl would put up with it especially a nz chick !
worldgonewrong Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 As my counselor says i am a giver and i attract takers ! All counselors use that line -- it's a way of stroking your ego and making sure you come back and keep writing out the checks.
Radu Posted June 15, 2012 Posted June 15, 2012 Lets just say he has been pushing my boundaires for 3 weeks to an extent i have had enough how dare he even lie and fabricate what has happened. I dont care what you all think! Leave us alone and stop this slander or i will take this website to a lawyer and texts and have you done for defamation. If you don't care what we, the good ppl of the internet think, then why do you keep posting and want to take down this site to stop getting the bad information about you across ? OP, never do urine drug tests, they are easy to fool. Blood and hair are better, especially hair as the drugs get deposited there, if he shaved you have your answer. Poor kids, to be with such a basket case. Those 2 girls will have relationships like their mother and to introduce a 5yr old so soon to the other guy shows a complete disregard for their mental health.
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