horsesrule7 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 my (ex) boyfriend of 1 year and 3 months broke up with me because of reasons such as being too stressed out, too busy, distance, etc... it all just kinda built up and he ended it, saying that his life is too hectic to fit me in it right now. I waited a week after the breakup to let things cool down and then decided to call him. We talked about it and both apologized for the way things happened. The last thing I heard from him was "I need time to think." and I said "You can have all the time you need." Since then we haven't spoken or seen each other, other then when his birthday passed and I sent a text that said "happy birthday" and he said "thanks" and that was it. In a week, a month will have passed since we broke up. I told myself that I would give him a month to "think about it", and if I still haven't heard from him by then, then it's over and he's not coming back, even if he said he would think about it. If by the time a month passes with nothing from him, should I assume it's over for good? I still care about him a lot, I still miss him, and I know we could work it out if we really tried. During the time that we dated, things were amazing. We really cared about each other and we fit together really well, and I could see myself spending my whole life with him. But then things just went all wrong by the end.
geegirl Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 my (ex) boyfriend of 1 year and 3 months broke up with me because of reasons such as being too stressed out, too busy, distance, etc... it all just kinda built up and he ended it, saying that his life is too hectic to fit me in it right now. I waited a week after the breakup to let things cool down and then decided to call him. We talked about it and both apologized for the way things happened. The last thing I heard from him was "I need time to think." and I said "You can have all the time you need." Since then we haven't spoken or seen each other, other then when his birthday passed and I sent a text that said "happy birthday" and he said "thanks" and that was it. In a week, a month will have passed since we broke up. I told myself that I would give him a month to "think about it", and if I still haven't heard from him by then, then it's over and he's not coming back, even if he said he would think about it. If by the time a month passes with nothing from him, should I assume it's over for good? I still care about him a lot, I still miss him, and I know we could work it out if we really tried. During the time that we dated, things were amazing. We really cared about each other and we fit together really well, and I could see myself spending my whole life with him. But then things just went all wrong by the end. You should accept that it is over when someone chooses to end it. And if someone needs time to think about whether they want to be with you, then most likely they're leaning towards not wanting the relationship. It's just easier on their conscience to say they'll think about it rather than to tell you it's over. And sometimes dumpers use that line to keep you on the backburner. YOU know YOU could work it out if YOU tried but he's not you. Don't project your views of the R on him. He feels differently, hence his need to abandon the relationship. In any case, you gave him a month to decide without him knowing he is on a timeline. You gave yourself a month to move on, so when it comes, "assume" it's over and move on. He can't give you an answer based on your schedule when he doesn't know what the schedule is. Maybe he needs 3 months and in 3 months he'll contact you. So, stick with your month and move forward.
babycrapgreen Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 If you're reading what you wrote you may have not realized a key word "we". He would need to put in the effort as well, not just you, sweety. You know this already because you said so yourself, that you'd give it a month and if nothing happens, it's over. And, it's been a month. You're okay because everything you're feeling, everyone who's been the dumpee has felt. You're not alone. I'm not saying he won't change his mind in the future, just not now. Don't contact him would be my best advice, for now.
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