JasonRules Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Well this is the 3rd time since she broke up with me that my ex contacted me. Last time we spoke on the phone was many months ago. I deleted her phone number from my mobile in the spring of 2011 and have not initiated any contact with her. It's been her all the time that initiates contact. It's been 1.5 years since I saw her. This time she text me saying that our respective soccer teams were competing against each other in the Euro 2012 tournament. She sent me a few texts afterward joking around.
BDranger Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Until You hear "I want you back I'll do anything" then no contact or limited is the only option. Let her crawl on broken glass and beg...or not. Depends what you want from her. 1
babycrapgreen Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 I know the feeling, the whole randomness of it all? Here's my advice to you from everyone else I've gotten advice from. You're probably wondering why she would contact you, here are a few reasons, you can replace the he with she..lol: 1. He misses talking to me (not the relationship) 2. He's curious to where my life is now, after a year. 3. He's just having trouble with gf and was bored/curious. 4. He wanted to open communication again. In addition, these MAY be the reasons for why she contacted you. But, one thing you can be sure of is that she is still think of you even after so long of no communication. Best of luck.
EgoJoe Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Well this is the 3rd time since she broke up with me that my ex contacted me. Last time we spoke on the phone was many months ago. I deleted her phone number from my mobile in the spring of 2011 and have not initiated any contact with her. It's been her all the time that initiates contact. It's been 1.5 years since I saw her. This time she text me saying that our respective soccer teams were competing against each other in the Euro 2012 tournament. She sent me a few texts afterward joking around. Did you respond to her?
Author JasonRules Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 Did you respond to her? Yea all I said was that I knew the two teams were playing and said that we'll probably win. She shot back that they didn't look like they had any energy in their legs while running in a joking fashion. I replied with because they were probably out partying the night before. She sent back "LOL", but I didn't reply after that.
greenz Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 I think she's checking into your life to see what you've been up to since she broke up with you. A girl wants a stable guy. If she was the one that broke up with you, then there were probably things she didn't like about the relationship and she's probably checking if you're "better" now. If you are, then she would probably be up for another go. If with time she sees you're still the same, she will leave again. You can be sure though that right now at the very least she at least misses you somewhat. It's up to you to decide if you want to pursue her or if she's not worth it to you.
Author JasonRules Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 It's nice to not care anymore and be fully in control. Funny how after they break up with you, you catch yourself looking at your mobile every 5 seconds to see if they have text you. Now even when they contact you out of the blue, months or years after, it doesn't affect you at all. Time does indeed do wonders...
EgoJoe Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 As good as you're doing Jason. It's chain yanking and you know it. If she initiates again and it's not about you, ignore.
geegirl Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Funny how after they break up with you, you catch yourself looking at your mobile every 5 seconds to see if they have text you. Now even when they contact you out of the blue, months or years after, it doesn't affect you at all. Time does indeed do wonders... I remember it all too well. It's liberating to be on the other side. Good for you, Jason.
Author JasonRules Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 Well it seems like the story continues: The following day I received a phone call and was mistakenly under the impression it was from her because she has the same area code as a relative of mine so I text her: Me: Did you call me? Her: Oh no Me: It says you did (I later realized I was mistaken) Her: Oh maybe it dialed when I was texting, how are u? Me: I'm good, just working Her: (The following day) Sorry, <my name> I fell asleep. I know it was nice to watch the game. Hope you're well. Me: Sore as hell from working out, but otherwise good. Excited to be going on holiday next month. Her: Wow that's funny. I'm sore too. I can barely walk. But it's great you're going!!! I'm going to Europe in December. <my name> I got into nursing school Me: I have tendinitis on my left arm and took a couple weeks off. I did legs the other day and can barely move. Congratulations about nursing school. Which school? Her: <name of the school> She then called me 4 hours later on my mobile. I kept the conversation pretty level headed. I didn't sound overtly enthusiastic or anything, although you could hear her laughing at some of the things I said. She asked me how I have been and what have I been up to. She told me that she had stopped by the club I used to work at and a friend of mine saw her. She had asked her gf who was with her in the car what day they went. During the past year she told me she lives in a suburb very close to me (she moved). Her nursing school is less than 10 minutes drive from where I work and live as well. Despite this I not once suggested or asked to meet up for coffee or anything. The phone call lasted about 12 minutes and I was the one who ended it. She said it was nice to talk to me and to know I'm doing well and she wished me a good time while on holiday. I just replied thanks and then said bye real quickly almost to the point where you can hear her speaking faster so as to keep up with my pace. I'm not sure why she keeps in contact with me even though a over a year ago she told me to not contact her because she was in a relationship and her bf was pissed we were talking. My gut feeling is telling me it's one of the following reasons: 1. Her boyfriend (if she still has one) is treating her like crap so she remembers me and how good and normal I was to her. So she's calling me to try and get some kind of validation for her own self worth. 2. She feels dumper's guilt for how she treated me and is attempting to see if I'm ok to relieve her own guilt and anxiety 3. Lastly, she may now be broken up and single and is testing the waters to see how I respond to her, although I am more inclined to think it's either 1 or 2.
Author JasonRules Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 So, I shouldn't give second chances? It depends. During the breakup you usually see the ugly side of the dumper. You have to be honest with yourself and ask "Can I trust someone will never do this in the future?". The answer isn't always "No, I can never trust them", but there are exceptions. The dumper will need to experience pain and mature greatly before they can realize your worth. After all, if you've never experienced a cold, grey, and crappy day you can never appreciate living with the sun shinning every single day.
EgoJoe Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Whether, 1, 2 or 3, who cares? She is so passive aggressive and cowardly that she is not worth keeping at all.
Author JasonRules Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 Whether, 1, 2 or 3, who cares? She is so passive aggressive and cowardly that she is not worth keeping at all. Well true, ultimately who cares if it's 1, 2 or 3. However, I don't understand what you mean by "she is so passive aggressive"?
EgoJoe Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 She HAS to have an alternate reason to contact you, remember the incident before this? It's always something else and then she always talks about herself. Read up on the subtle clues to passive aggression.
Author JasonRules Posted June 11, 2012 Author Posted June 11, 2012 She HAS to have an alternate reason to contact you, remember the incident before this? It's always something else and then she always talks about herself. Read up on the subtle clues to passive aggression. Well 1st contact was "accidental" on her part. She claimed Sprint sent me text messages intended for her gf. 2nd contact was my email popping up on iTunes song she tried to play, which that led to her "catching up" 3rd contact was because our respective Euro 2012 soccer teams were playing against each other and that was another reason for her to get in touch with me. You're right, it's always about "something else" as to why she contacts me.
wilsonx Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 Right... so its been 1.5 years, you are healed... big red elephant in the room time What is your purpose of posting this thread? 1
EgoJoe Posted June 11, 2012 Posted June 11, 2012 So, Wilson does have a good point, Jason. The reality is though beyond that point is this one unfaltering fact. She has yet to contact you just to contact you which means one thing to me, she is unable to admit that she just wants to contact you. In my opinion, you have entertained this BS to a degree that I would not have and I can understand why but I personally would have suggested that you kind of call her out on her BS so as to put her on the spot. As it sits, it is apparent to me that she might now "feel like" it is ok for her to contact you whenever, imagine points 1&2 again. I don't think it is fair to you to be that guy for her and lets face it. A 29 year old who JUST got into nursing school as a first true career choice AND acts this way? Bro, you can and WILL do so much better.
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