horsesrule7 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 There's this guy I like, who said he likes me too. We're both in high school. We've been talking lately and we're planning on hanging out sometime soon. He's really friendly, cute, smart, etc...But we're literally complete opposites in like our morals and values. He's not religious...I am. He's into drinking and smoking weed (sometimes)...I'm not. He swears/uses cuss words sometimes...I don't. He has already had sex before...I haven't (on top of that, I'm against premarital sex in the first place!) Basically, I'm a complete goody-goody and he's not. He's not a bad guy, he just has made some bad choices. I've explained to him that I'm not into drinking/drugs, sex, etc. and he said he would never pressure me into doing any of those if I didn't want to. I still like him I guess, it's just weird meeting someone so different because my last boyfriend was just like me (went to church, never did drugs, wanted to wait until marriage for sex, etc.). Even though we're complete opposites he still says he wants to make it work. Should I give him a chance or find someone who has more similar morals/values as me??
mortensorchid Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Tricky question here. You said you are both in high school. You are both very young right now, however this may send you down a road you may not like. You might turn into one of those gals who digs Bad Boys because of this. I'm not saying you will, but by this description you are saying that you are attracted to him because he is the opposite of you. That's usually what appeals about the Bad Boy, because he is the opposite of you. If that is the case, then remember that you can't change his behavior to match yours or anyone elses. If you are going for him just to see what is on the other side, then see the other side, learn your lesson, then do whatever will be. Be careful, you will see that the world is full of more losers than you think it is at this moment.
Author horsesrule7 Posted June 9, 2012 Author Posted June 9, 2012 Tricky question here. You said you are both in high school. You are both very young right now, however this may send you down a road you may not like. You might turn into one of those gals who digs Bad Boys because of this. I'm not saying you will, but by this description you are saying that you are attracted to him because he is the opposite of you. That's usually what appeals about the Bad Boy, because he is the opposite of you. If that is the case, then remember that you can't change his behavior to match yours or anyone elses. If you are going for him just to see what is on the other side, then see the other side, learn your lesson, then do whatever will be. Be careful, you will see that the world is full of more losers than you think it is at this moment. I don't exactly like the way he's the opposite of me, in fact it's kind of a big turn off. But I'm still kind of interested in him. And if we do happen to get together, there's no way he could possibly influence me to get into the things he does. I'm not one to fall for those excuses for peer pressure like "oh I just wanted to fit in" or "oh I just wanted to make him happy". Haha, those are all bull. If something is wrong and I'm against it, no matter how much I want to please someone or fit in, the only way I'll do it is if someone literally forces me too (which probably wouldn't be easy to do either).
turt Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I suggest to stay away. Do you really think he is going to change everything for you? Instead he is going slowly try to get you to do everything. He is going to expect sex at some point and you'll be in position you don't want to be in. If he's drunk, do you really think he's going to hold back pressuring you into something?
amantis Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 If he is your opposite in everything why are you even asking if you should give him a chance ?
fawrist bair Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 There is nothing wrong with being opposites. Do you want to date yourself? Learning about others interests is good. For example: My best friend is exactly opposite from me. A woman who believes in Raike (SP?), psycics, regularly visiting a psychatrist, eats healthy 99% of the time, oppsites politicaly, is currently in a lesbian realationship and more. I have grown so much because of our relationship. Because of our relationship and my respect for her my life has improved so much. I am going to a counselor to fix some of my shortcommings, which I would have never done in the past. My views on same sex relationships have been reevaluated. You get the idea. Most importantly I made my own desicions. She did not change my mind, I just learned & expanded my knowledge. I still don't believe in raike, psycics and more. I turns out we are so different we can't spend too much time together or we get on each others nerves. Yet we have been friends for more than half our lives. Explore the friendship. See what it leads into. Keep your mind open, but don't compromise your values.
Casablanca Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 How does he drink, does he drink to get drunk or just drink to let loose? I'd give him a shot, but dont go in expecting him to change into a religious person like you...he doesn't do anything hard, and I'd only stay away if he is into getting drunk all the time. I'd give him a shot, just be cautious.
amantis Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 dont date him , im telling you . Looks like you were raised in a religious way and he didnt . I can tell you that my ex wife stopped smoking the day i met her ( i dont date Girls who smoke ( i hate the smell and the kiss ... hate the taste ) but i dont have nothing against who smokes , for me is all about decisions , and dating someone who smokes is not something that i want I never smoked weed , i would not date someone who was using it ( thats the way i was raised ) You really think that he is not going to have sex with you ? he doesnt think the same way that you think . He is not going to date you and sit next to you watching movies everytime you 2 are alone ... sorry but its not going to happen Im not saying that he is a bad guy , im just saying that you can have different tastes in music or other stuff, thats normal but you 2 are different about important things like religion , sex and drugs . Im the beginning he is going to look like he changed for you , but give him 2 months and see whats going to happen
Author horsesrule7 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 How does he drink, does he drink to get drunk or just drink to let loose? I'd give him a shot, but dont go in expecting him to change into a religious person like you...he doesn't do anything hard, and I'd only stay away if he is into getting drunk all the time. I'd give him a shot, just be cautious. He's not a heavy drinker. He said he drinks maybe once a month, plus he hasn't in a while, and he's really into sports (he's literally like a pro right now, not kidding), so he can't drink/smoke too often. I'm pretty certain that the only reason he does it is because of his friends that he hangs out with (I know some of them, so I know the kind of people they are).
Author horsesrule7 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 There is nothing wrong with being opposites. Do you want to date yourself? Learning about others interests is good. For example: My best friend is exactly opposite from me. A woman who believes in Raike (SP?), psycics, regularly visiting a psychatrist, eats healthy 99% of the time, oppsites politicaly, is currently in a lesbian realationship and more. I have grown so much because of our relationship. Because of our relationship and my respect for her my life has improved so much. I am going to a counselor to fix some of my shortcommings, which I would have never done in the past. My views on same sex relationships have been reevaluated. You get the idea. Most importantly I made my own desicions. She did not change my mind, I just learned & expanded my knowledge. I still don't believe in raike, psycics and more. I turns out we are so different we can't spend too much time together or we get on each others nerves. Yet we have been friends for more than half our lives. Explore the friendship. See what it leads into. Keep your mind open, but don't compromise your values. I completely agree with you. I have a friend who's the complete opposite of me too, but we're still really good friends. I don't think you should completely avoid having relationships with someone just because they're the opposite of you. For all you know, they could balance you out more than someone would who's just like you. Like they say, "opposites attract". Not always true, and yes there are cases where opposites really don't work well together. I think it all depends on the two people involved. Yes, I know that sex, religion, drinking, etc. are all major topics that can be problems when two people have different views on them, but I think it can still be possible. I guess we'll have to see.
Author horsesrule7 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 Also, I don't even know if he's into me anymore. The last time we texted was a few days ago, and it was when he was asking how far I would go and stuff and I explained to him that I'm not going to go all the way with just anyone, and I would rather wait until marriage. And I basically told him that if he wants a girl that's easy, he should look elsewhere because he won't find her here. So yeah, that was the last time we talked and I haven't heard from him. And we're "suppose" to hangout tomorrow. I think he was expecting me to do more than just kissing or something when we hung out...In fact I kinda feel like all he wants is friends with benefits, because we've been talking for almost a month now (just on and off texting and talking at school, etc.) but he hasn't really asked questions about me at all, like simple little questions about my life ("what's your favorite food?" or "I want to know more about you")...that kinda stuff. Whenever I met a guy who actually liked me, he would be interested in finding out more about me. But this guy? He hasn't really asked those questions. He's asked me some, like what's my favorite sport, but we still don't really know that much about each other. And he already asked me to send him "pictures" (he didn't specify what kind exactly, and I wasn't willing to send inappropriate ones right now, so I sent a normal one and said that I wasn't going to send nude ones. He said that's not what he meant, but I have a feeling it was what he meant, he just didn't want to be accused of it after I said I wouldn't do it. So yeah, I kinda feel like all he wants is friends with benefits, which I'm not interested in. Then again, he is extremely quiet and not the best conversationalist. So maybe that's why he doesn't ask a lot of questions. I don't know, if I do hear from him at some point again, I'll ask him what his intentions are. I'm definitely not sticking around if all he wants is my body, and if I don't hear from him, then oh well. I wouldn't want to date a guy who decides to stop talking to me just because I won't do stuff with him anyways.
Bristolius Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Tricky question here. You said you are both in high school. You are both very young right now, however this may send you down a road you may not like. You might turn into one of those gals who digs Bad Boys because of this. I'm not saying you will, but by this description you are saying that you are attracted to him because he is the opposite of you. That's usually what appeals about the Bad Boy, because he is the opposite of you. If that is the case, then remember that you can't change his behavior to match yours or anyone elses. If you are going for him just to see what is on the other side, then see the other side, learn your lesson, then do whatever will be. Be careful, you will see that the world is full of more losers than you think it is at this moment. I think this is good advice for the OP. But really is this young man a bad boy? Seriously? Swearing?
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Also, I don't even know if he's into me anymore. The last time we texted was a few days ago, and it was when he was asking how far I would go and stuff and I explained to him that I'm not going to go all the way with just anyone, and I would rather wait until marriage. And I basically told him that if he wants a girl that's easy, he should look elsewhere because he won't find her here. So yeah, that was the last time we talked and I haven't heard from him. And we're "suppose" to hangout tomorrow. I think he was expecting me to do more than just kissing or something when we hung out...In fact I kinda feel like all he wants is friends with benefits, because we've been talking for almost a month now (just on and off texting and talking at school, etc.) but he hasn't really asked questions about me at all, like simple little questions about my life ("what's your favorite food?" or "I want to know more about you")...that kinda stuff. Whenever I met a guy who actually liked me, he would be interested in finding out more about me. But this guy? He hasn't really asked those questions. He's asked me some, like what's my favorite sport, but we still don't really know that much about each other. And he already asked me to send him "pictures" (he didn't specify what kind exactly, and I wasn't willing to send inappropriate ones right now, so I sent a normal one and said that I wasn't going to send nude ones. He said that's not what he meant, but I have a feeling it was what he meant, he just didn't want to be accused of it after I said I wouldn't do it. So yeah, I kinda feel like all he wants is friends with benefits, which I'm not interested in. Then again, he is extremely quiet and not the best conversationalist. So maybe that's why he doesn't ask a lot of questions. I don't know, if I do hear from him at some point again, I'll ask him what his intentions are. I'm definitely not sticking around if all he wants is my body, and if I don't hear from him, then oh well. I wouldn't want to date a guy who decides to stop talking to me just because I won't do stuff with him anyways. Maybe he likes the idea of corrupting a "good" girl. Maybe I'm just feeding you what you want to hear. Maybe irl I'm Mr.Ed the talking horse which would satisfy your need for meaningful conversation, your horse fetish, and since I'm from the golden age of television I believe in the same wholesome Christian values you claim to worship. We should so go steady. I can imagine you riding me into the sunset afterward I'd ride you in the hay of course not until getting your hoof fitted with your very own wedding horseshoe. It is only proper.
Author horsesrule7 Posted June 10, 2012 Author Posted June 10, 2012 I think this is good advice for the OP. But really is this young man a bad boy? Seriously? Swearing? I really don't think he's a "bad boy" exactly...In fact he told me that he's not a bad kid, if that's what I'm thinking. He only smokes/drinks maybe once a month, and it's only because of the friends he hangs out with.
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I really don't think he's a "bad boy" exactly...In fact he told me that he's not a bad kid, if that's what I'm thinking. He only smokes/drinks maybe once a month, and it's only because of the friends he hangs out with. Okay. That's nice. You are still too uptight to be with him no matter what your "romantic" urges are telling you. You aren't capable of casual dating but he is. This is like a match made in heaven. I can hear the choir of angels now.
amantis Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 You know how easy it is to lie to people like you ? Man love challenge , and you are his project . He can tell you that he isnt a bad boy , that he is going to stop smoking weed and all that bs , until you have sex with him , and believe me , now you say that you dont want , but eventualy you are going to do it if you really like him . Look , dont tell me that you cant find other guy similar to you ... maybe you like "bad boys" and you dont even know .
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Are we seriously going to consider him a bad boy? That's pretty laughable. He is barely that. He's a pothead who sleeps around not bad boy material. Though with the way she is going she will eventually spread for him if she continues.
amantis Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 yes , he is just a pothead , but next to her he is a bad boy . My point is , she is asking if she would give him a chance , and what im saying is that there are ALOT of guys who are similar to her . When you come to this site asking this questions , you should know that something is wrong , and im not going to tell her , yes waste your time with him , let him fk you and then come here again asking , ohh i had sex with him and he stopped talking with me , what should i do !! Tell me , with 20 years old , why do you want to date ? to spend time with someone and go to the movies or just give a good fk ? i remember when i was 20 years old , and even if i "loved someone" sex was always inside my head . if she is a virgin , what do you think that loser wants ? He is a pothead and wants pussy , do i need to explain better ? Even better horsesrule7 , waste your time and date him , and please dont forget about everything i said , and in 2 months sent me a private msg telling me how everything is going between you 2
Recommended Posts