SeattleBabe Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 So here is my story about money issues on dates. Last guy I've dated was somewhat a high maintenance dude. He's making large amount of money so he's actually living in his own range. I can't bring him to some cheap or affordable ones that are within my means. He always chooses expensive places so I was having a rough time offering to pay all the time. I liked him so much though, that I made myself just always under his spell. We've dated for couple of months. Had fun together. He paid for the first 3 dates. I guess he's spent like 950 dollars total for the 3 dates. On our 3rd date he found out that I've also got a good paying jobs and even buying a town house so he kind of started to expect me to pay. 4th date, we went on a bar and watched live music after dinner. It happened that that was also the day that I got paid from my 1st job so I already planned to pay for our bill that night, I paid 210 dollars total for the food and wine. Next day, he asked me and even made plans to visit places and the 1 day date turned into 2 and 1/2 days. 5th date, we went for dinner again, grabbed few drinks and when the chit came, we split the bill that costs 350 dollars, and I paid for the half. Then in the morning, he woke me up and he wanted me to stay a little longer again. We went to the mall and grabbed some bite. He paid then he drove me home. 6th date, we went for lunch, he paid, then watched movie that he rented on iTunes for home sharing, and then went for dinners, I paid. Next morning, he wanted to spend a little more time together. We got some coffee and cakes. Everything was great. 7th date, we went out swimming, had few drinks in the pool, ate a little bit, went over to his place, took nap then grabbed dinner, I didn't contribute, I intentionally didn't offer cause I have too many bills coming up, so next morning he told me, that he is an introvert person and he needs to be alone and he can't stand having someone around and he kicked me out, he told me, "You can GO!" So, I went home... 8th date, we ate dinner, I offered to pay, he didn't accept at first, said he was paying but I insisted, I ended up paying. I even bought us a bottle of wine after so we drunk a little bit after dinner. Next morning, he woke me up and said we will go to the park, and then we grabbed some bite too, he told me to just hang out for another night. I stayed. 9th date, he paid for everything, food, drinks, movies, gas. Next morning, can you guess? lol yeah, he kicked me out before I even took shower! Regardless, he always kisses me on my lips for goodbye and calls me to check if I'm already home safe every time whether I paid or not.
Andy_K Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Sounds like when you don't pay, he thinks of you more as a whore than someone he's dating. Are you willing to continue to trade your self-respect for the guy's money? If not, just let him find some other girl who will.
zengirl Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Why on Earth are dates routinely costing several hundred dollars? At any rate, he sounds like kind of a jerk for kicking you out and such and I don't see any real development of the R dynamic -- I'm not sure why money is the issue, as it seems like he's willing to pay sometimes. You're both overspending IMO -- there's no way dates should cost that much unless you just like wasting money, which some folks do, I suppose. 1
denise_xo Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Why on Earth are dates routinely costing several hundred dollars? That was my reaction, too. You need to find cheaper ways of spending time together if this is over your budget.
musemaj11 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Another woman complaining that a guy has a problem spending more than she does. Cliche.
veggirl Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 JFC! Quit doing shi.t that costs hundreds of dollars! Are you serious!? Just forget this guy, this relationship has already bred resentment on both sides. $350 dates....good fking lord. Why? Not to mention after only a few dates it seems too early to spending multiple days straight through with the guy. 1
ascendotum Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 I think along the lines of zengirl here. There does seem to be a bit of trend when it comes to his behaviour and whether you spend or not, but at the same time, he has been dropping big $ when going on dates with you. That time you held back because you had bills to pay, I personally think you should have mentioned that when the chit came, just so he knew you weren't taking his $ for granted. I also think you two should be coming up with places to go that don't cost you $350, since you prefer something more affordable and he possibly seems to keep a mental tab of your contributions. If he really fancies you, I’m sure he could sit thru a $180 dinner. Its only happened twice, but from what you wrote, his attitude was pretty blunt. The first time, maybe he was having a bad day, the 2nd time, not unless he had a good reason to hustle you out...strange to then call you to ask if you made it home ok. I think you should have made a sarcastic comment back about not having shower or breakfast, and tried to suss out his motive. If you like him, keep dating, but call him out on his behaviour (not in an angry manner), or try to split everything down the middle from now. 1
Sid6.7 Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 Another woman complaining that a guy has a problem spending more than she does. Cliche. I did some rough math based on her post. He spent over $1125.00 to get laid. Chump. 2
LittlePrince Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 So here is my story about money issues on dates. Last guy I've dated was somewhat a high maintenance dude. He's making large amount of money so he's actually living in his own range. I can't bring him to some cheap or affordable ones that are within my means. He always chooses expensive places so I was having a rough time offering to pay all the time. I liked him so much though, that I made myself just always under his spell. We've dated for couple of months. Had fun together. He paid for the first 3 dates. I guess he's spent like 950 dollars total for the 3 dates. On our 3rd date he found out that I've also got a good paying jobs and even buying a town house so he kind of started to expect me to pay. 4th date, we went on a bar and watched live music after dinner. It happened that that was also the day that I got paid from my 1st job so I already planned to pay for our bill that night, I paid 210 dollars total for the food and wine. Next day, he asked me and even made plans to visit places and the 1 day date turned into 2 and 1/2 days. 5th date, we went for dinner again, grabbed few drinks and when the chit came, we split the bill that costs 350 dollars, and I paid for the half. Then in the morning, he woke me up and he wanted me to stay a little longer again. We went to the mall and grabbed some bite. He paid then he drove me home. 6th date, we went for lunch, he paid, then watched movie that he rented on iTunes for home sharing, and then went for dinners, I paid. Next morning, he wanted to spend a little more time together. We got some coffee and cakes. Everything was great. 7th date, we went out swimming, had few drinks in the pool, ate a little bit, went over to his place, took nap then grabbed dinner, I didn't contribute, I intentionally didn't offer cause I have too many bills coming up, so next morning he told me, that he is an introvert person and he needs to be alone and he can't stand having someone around and he kicked me out, he told me, "You can GO!" So, I went home... 8th date, we ate dinner, I offered to pay, he didn't accept at first, said he was paying but I insisted, I ended up paying. I even bought us a bottle of wine after so we drunk a little bit after dinner. Next morning, he woke me up and said we will go to the park, and then we grabbed some bite too, he told me to just hang out for another night. I stayed. 9th date, he paid for everything, food, drinks, movies, gas. Next morning, can you guess? lol yeah, he kicked me out before I even took shower! Regardless, he always kisses me on my lips for goodbye and calls me to check if I'm already home safe every time whether I paid or not. This guy likes to lead a very expensive lifestyle which you don't. I don't see this working out.
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