gabby19 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 The love of my life recently broke up with me saying that he couldn't be in a monogamous relationship, that he needed to have his sexual independence and wanted to see other women. We've been together for 3yrs. We've previously had this problem and gave each other space but only after a few days we missed each other terribly and went right back to being happy. This time he's like a different person. Saying that he doesn't see himself settling down until his 35+ and that since we've been apart for a 2wks he doesn't miss me. He says that he is in love with me but doesn't want to cheat so he broke it off. I'm so in love with this guy and I miss him so much. No contact has been very hard. We are still face book friends and he still has up photos of us and still pays my gym bill. This has be so confused. Has anyone every dealt with this before? Did your significant other ever come back to you? Should I ever contact him?
babycrapgreen Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Appreciate his honesty. Would you rather have the latter, him cheat on you? It's far worst. I'm guessing you're in your early 20's. When my ex cheated on me and we stayed together afterwards, it was torture which ultimately lead to our break-up. He's being honest with you. I'm sorry but, there are guys out there willing to be monogamous. 1
Leigh 87 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 if you love him, set him free. It is the hardest thing to do, but the best way to go about it. I am so sorry your going through this. It must be terrible. The best you can do is go to that gym, socialise, and do things that make you happy and confident. U will have to deal with feeling sh*t for a while, so the least u can do is work out more, go for more walks, do things that you know will boost your confidence while your feeling so down. It must be terribly hard for you, that this guy still loves you would only serve to confuse you more! If he loved u, surely he would want to stay? There is a poster on here, who tells me that if a guy is truly in love, he will not leave u. I am not sure if I believe in that true love sh*t. I just think a guy can be in love, and do all sorts of cr@p that does not necessarily point to love. Maybe he is in love with you, or at leasts LOVES you, but not enough at this stage, to stick with you? Who knows. The ONLY thing you DO know is this: - you had some very joyful, happy times. Do not forget them! U were happy for years, and u will be sad for LESS then you were happy for those 3 years. - u will hurt a lot, but move on with dignity; do not go blowing up his phone. Do not contact him., hide your phone, do what it takes. let him reach out to you. Good luck, try to not contact him, re build your life however long it takes, and remember you had a great thing, you will never lose those good times, but u WILL be able to move on after a great dfeal of pain. The pain WILL end though. Other people have gone through terrible heartache, and come out the other side. it is WORTH IT, to have loved.
Leigh 87 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Appreciate his honesty. Would you rather have the latter, him cheat on you? It's far worst. I'm guessing you're in your early 20's. When my ex cheated on me and we stayed together afterwards, it was torture which ultimately lead to our break-up. He's being honest with you. I'm sorry but, there are guys out there willing to be monogamous. And I agree, thank god he was honest - although it has ended, you know you were at least with a decent guy with integrity. He called it off instead of just cheating. A lot of guys are immature, and/or too weak to do as he has done. I love my boyfriend, he claims to love me... but, in his mid 20's, I personally do not feel that I want him to only have sex with the one girl for his entire life. I am not sure what this will mean. He does not want other girls, and to lose what we have... yet, I just do not want a guy in his 20's settling down, with no other sex with other women ever. Again. The idea is not healthy or ideal to me. Most people are either monogomus, or not in a relationship at all. As you know, there is middle ground; people want love, but also want sexual varity. They swing, have 3 somes, or do whatever it takes to have what they want, and not miss out on important things, like sexual varity is to them. It sounds to me like you are like most people - either monogomus, or not at all.. as is he... so..... he is doing the right thing. Open relationships seldom work, apparently.
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