Moutonrose Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 My bf recently applied for a job in montreal, this job is to start his carreer which is great! I got the news today that they are taking him but now that means he is going to move there in 2 weeks and be 2 hours away. he told me that the first year is going to be hectic cause the job has ALOT of pressure and is gonna drain him....I, in the mean time am going to stay at the horse barn I work to save some cash asside and move in with him maybe in the fall or winter....now I want to know what should I expect from a LDR??? we wont be able to see each other every week and he prob wont be able to call me each day. I want to know what should I worry about, what should I be happy about. I am very stressed about moving up there eventually because I will have to find a way different job up there and change my lifestyle a little. I am not really a city person but this guy is really my soul mate and I am so happy he got this job. we have only been together a year, he is 29 I am 26. I am happy because he finally decided to settle....get a carreer and build it. he loves me deeply and told me that he built his relationship stable and now he wants to build his carreer. I so understand that. I don't have worries about him cheating on me but I do worry that he could meet someone else that he could get distant, that he could get bored etc...are these normal fears? plus i am very worried on when exactly I should go up there. I know 2 hours apart isnt a big distance but it will change our relationship alot because we are currently seeing each other every 2-3 days! any help would be appreaciated.
FitChick Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 You're over thinking it. Why create problems? You can alternate weekends at his place and your place. That way you will get a sense of the city and the inhabitants. Since you like animals, you could get a job as a dog walker or in doggy daycare (or start your own) or working at an animal hospital or vet. Like you said, he will be under a lot of pressure so don't burden him with your fears and worries.
Author Moutonrose Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 thank you fithchick! you are right I am creating alot of problemes for nothing....no I really do not want to burden him with this, right now he is so happy, I am happy too cause this is what I have hoping for....stability.
wildgeese Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 I think that you should feel free to discuss all of this with him openly. Since when is discussing something when in a relationship "burdening"? It's perfectly healthy to express your fears to your boyfriend. It's normal! I see how living two hours a part could be almost more of an issue than the 9 hours my boyfriend and I were during our time of long distance. Two hours is an easy drive and things may become strained if one of you feels like the other is not putting in the effort of making the drive when they're able to. Are you going to be okay with him being busy? Don't worry about him meeting someone else. It seems like for most LDRs that don't work out, it's an internal issue that causes the break-up and not an external interest. Focus more on keeping your relationship healthy, your expectations in check with reality, and your communication lines open.
Author Moutonrose Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 yeah the 2h doesnt seem like a long distance. the thing is my days off are tuesday to wenesday and he will be off on the weekends. but again this job has alot of pressure involved and he warned me that he might not be able to make it down that often cause of that. I understand that totaly. I dont have a car or a permit yet so i will happily take the bus to see him every week or two weeks. maybe I am making this alot worse than it is cause its out of the routine and I will have to get use to it. and again its not like we never saw each other... I just get so anxious easily and this kind of got me worried because its unknown.
Recommended Posts