amymurphy123 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 I'll try to make this as short as possible. So I was seeing this guy back last June, not exclusively. He had just came out of a 2 year relationship and wasn't looking for anything serious, but we never had sex. He's 20 and in college and came down and saw me every weekend. I'm 17 and in high school in a different state. After a couple of months he told me that he didn't want to string me along as he wasn't ready for a relationship right now and that we should just be friends for now. Obviously I thought that that was just a line and dismissed him but a couple of months later he started texting me again and asked me to meet up, we did and he explained how he did actually care about me but its just so complicated with him being away. He casually mentioned about us getting together sometime in the future but I didn't put much pass on it. I saw him again the following two weeks but then he had to go back up to college. It's been continuing like that ever since (seeing him every month or 6weeks) he hasn't been in town much but whenever he does he always texts me to meet up. He says he cares about me and that he does miss me and that he will stop contacting me if I feel it isn't fair on me, but that he doesnt want to do that. he says that it annoys him too that we both like each other but that there's not a lot we can do about it until he finishes college. It makes sense, but I can't help but wonder am I just being naive? And should I question his motives more? I would especially appreciate some male insite here!
FitChick Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Are you graduating this year or next year? If it's next year, I'd cool things off. He will meet plenty of women in college. If there is still a spark next year, then move to his town or apply to his college. You will probably meet someone better by then.
Author amymurphy123 Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 I have 1 more year left in highschool and he has one more year left in college. He is in Michigan and i plan to go there for college (not because of him). I know that it would be stupid to get into a LDR and i don't even want a relationship myself at the moment but I know that I would want one with him in the future.
Author amymurphy123 Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 Are you graduating this year or next year? If it's next year, I'd cool things off. He will meet plenty of women in college. If there is still a spark next year, then move to his town or apply to his college. You will probably meet someone better by then. I have 1 more year left in highschool and he has one more year left in college. He is in Michigan and i plan to go there for college (not because of him). I know that it would be stupid to get into a LDR and i don't even want a relationship myself at the moment but I know that I would want one with him in the future.
ryleeT Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 he's just trying to be a good guy... he's young in college and naturally horny... he wants to keep his options open and be able to have sex with the girls he is meeting at school. He knows that if the relationship with you goes further then he is locked in (or trapped) and it is just not something he is not willing to do at this stage in his life. You can accept that or not... if you do then you must ask yourself what you want or need... if it is a monogomous lasting relationship then this isn't going to work for you... if you are happy being friends with benefits, understanding that you are both young and are willing to let the other experiment for now... then its time to let him know that... perhaps at a much latter date it develops into something else (but you just have to be ok with the likelihood that it will not). If nothing else... 10 years from now, it is likely you won't regret having the fling.
TMichaels Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 ... he told me that he didn't want to string me along as he wasn't ready for a relationship right now I know that it would be stupid to get into a LDR and i don't even want a relationship myself at the moment... I guess I don't understand what the problem is. Neither of you want to be in a relationship with each other -- at least at the moment -- so don't get into one. See other people (because I would bet he is while he's at college) and when he comes back home *if* you want to and it's convenient, you can always meet up -- as friends. ...but I know that I would want one with him in the future. You *think* that now, you may not once you graduate high school and go to college. Leave your options open, including *not* having sex with the guy if you want to be able to make an objective decision. Best, TMichaels
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