TaintedHeart Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 So I was in a relationship with someone I wasn't suited with, we argued constantly, was in tears all of the time and felt walked over. It was a unhealthy relationship, I was always thinking about how I don't like this and that about about him, the whole thing drained me. So now we've broken up and all I can think about is the good things about the relationship, its like my brain won't allow me to remember the reasons why I wasn't happy! So confused! Has anybody else had this?
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 This happens to just about everyone. When we are with someone and unhappy it's all we see. When we are away from that familiarity we focus on the good parts. The goal is to be realistic about things and realize while there were good points there were enough bad ones to end the relationship. 2
Author TaintedHeart Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 This happens to just about everyone. When we are with someone and unhappy it's all we see. When we are away from that familiarity we focus on the good parts. The goal is to be realistic about things and realize while there were good points there were enough bad ones to end the relationship. It's so hard to remember, no matter how much I try, its crazy!
Coffee20 Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 This happens to me too. I just wrote down everything I didn't like about my relationship and then if I have these weak moments I read it, so I am reminded why I don't want it back. Sorry to hear about your situation, it will get better soon! wish you good luck
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 It's so hard to remember, no matter how much I try, its crazy! Another route would be to just try and live in the moment rather than in the past or future. Give your focus to what is happening right now. Really feel the sunshine on your face, stop and smell the flowers, and do whatever would make you happy with yourself and your own life.
Author TaintedHeart Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 Another route would be to just try and live in the moment rather than in the past or future. Give your focus to what is happening right now. Really feel the sunshine on your face, stop and smell the flowers, and do whatever would make you happy with yourself and your own life. I think remembering the bad things will make it easier on my heart. Ah well, the brains a funny thing.
geegirl Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 It's so hard to remember, no matter how much I try, its crazy! It's normal. Write down all the things that you didn't like about the relationship and what you hope for in the future. Read it when you forget or start idealizing/romanticizing. You're just thinking with your heart, when the best thing to do is connect rationally with your brain. Hence, writing it all down. It helps arrange your thoughts and reprogram your mindset. 1
Author TaintedHeart Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 It's normal. Write down all the things that you didn't like about the relationship and what you hope for in the future. Read it when you forget or start idealizing/romanticizing. You're just thinking with your heart, when the best thing to do is connect rationally with your brain. Hence, writing it all down. It helps arrange your thoughts and reprogram your mindset. When I start romanticizing I try so hard to remember something I hated about the relationship but nothing will come to me even though I know they're there! Very frustrating. Will try writing them down if my brain gives me a break, ha!
geegirl Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 When I start romanticizing I try so hard to remember something I hated about the relationship but nothing will come to me even though I know they're there! Very frustrating. Will try writing them down if my brain gives me a break, ha! It's hard to counter your good thoughts by just trying to think of something bad. Start with a list, here goes: 1. He was manipulative and often times made me feel bad about myself. I felt bad when he used to.... 2. He walked all over me and treated me badly. I remember that time when.... Keep going. You'll be surprised at how much you can come up with. 1
Author TaintedHeart Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 It's hard to counter your good thoughts by just trying to think of something bad. Start with a list, here goes: 1. He was manipulative and often times made me feel bad about myself. I felt bad when he used to.... 2. He walked all over me and treated me badly. I remember that time when.... Keep going. You'll be surprised at how much you can come up with. And you've triggered me off , lol. Thanks geegirl
geegirl Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 And you've triggered me off , lol. Thanks geegirl Awesome!!! Write away!
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