wuddupsonn Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Hey guys, I'm not used to forums like this, but I wanted to know your opinions on my situation. I don't want people that know me that I wrote this, so I'll be using fake names to describe my situation. Hope that's okay. Info about me: Male Age 20 Virgin College student Long distance relationship for few months. Me and my girlfriend go to college in the same area (different colleges), and met through a friend. However, she's an international student from China. We kicked it off really well, and after much consideration on her part, she decided to accept me as her first boyfriend. "Officially," we've been together for 3 months, but we've been acting like a couple since months before that. So we have progressed intimately quite a bit. We've done everything BUT penetration. The male society might disapprove of me, but I've had quite a lot of opportunities to get laid, but decided not to because I valued my virginity, despite the fact that I'm a guy. I decided to save it up for the right girl, and I knew that she would be it. It's summer vacation now, and I didn't want to have sex with her right before she left for China. She would be gone for 3 months, and I wanted to be around her after we had sex for the first time, so I decided that we'd do it when she got back. Now, she tells me that she will be coming back, but will be transferring to a Chinese college, and will be attending there until she graduates there. We're talking years... She has no other reason to come back to the US after the transfer, and I have no other reason to go to China, nor economically comfortable to do so. I REALLY like this girl. I really thought she was the one. But I've had a long distance relationship before this one, and the only reason why I decided to do it again is because I thought that I could deal with being only a couple months apart since my feelings for her were stronger than they have ever been for a girl. I'm her first kiss, first date, first everything. She's as pure as they come. And I knew that once I took her firsts, she would be emotionally attached to me, and I knew that. When I went for the first kiss, I was going to take responsibility and ensure that I don't betray her. Now my problem is this: She's coming to the US for one more year, but after I may not see her for a long time. She is deeply in love with me, and often mentions marriage (which I don't mind). I've done sexual things to her, and I really don't want to be the douche that leaves her after the intimacy. I really like her too, but from experience and knowledge, I know that being apart for years (especially with the time zone difference), we will eventually break up. I really like her, and I want to continue dating her, but I know that if I continue this for another year, the emotions would pile up higher and higher, and I would eventually have to smash it down. Break-up is inevitable for us... so what should I do? Personally, as much as it hurts me to say this, I think I should break up with her now, to save both HER and ME from a greater pain to come. Yes, she will be around for another year, but for what? She will be gone soon. Do I really want to augment my feeling for her knowing that eventually I will never see her again? It would destroy her if I break up with her, but it would destroy her even more if I do it later, you know? And I don't want to take her virginity if I know that I'm gonna break up with her eventually. I take relationships seriously. I think I blabbed too many details, and thanks for reading. If you need to know additional information on my situation, I'd be happy to provide you with them. Should I break up now? And if yes, how? (I can only see her thru skype)
CaliBabe Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I think you should break up with her now. It's the decent thing to do. How you break up is up to you. However you feel is best.
Shakira1904 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 You should 'break up' with her as you have spelt out that the relationship will not work but I don't consider this a break up rather a compromise. Have you told her everything that you have written here because you don't want to break her heart. If she knows how you feel then this maybe the deciding factor for her as to whether she wants to continue studies here or not. Not all long-distance relationships fail but they are hard work but it seems like you've already decided. Good luck
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