gtiboy Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I was recently dating a girl for two months, she ended it by saying she liked me as a person but not in 'that way'. She even told me she was glad I wanted to be with her a few weeks back and again on the last date two days before she decided to end it? What I could not understand is, if you're dating someone surely you would know after the first 2 or 3 dates if you was attacted to someone. Was I treated unfairly? since we must have dated about 10 times before she came to that conclusion?
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Well it's better she tell you sooner than later and it's good she was honest. Simply put she looked at things and decided it wasn't a good fit. I've liked many women as people but didn't feel romantically for them.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 She did kind of use you..but from her perspective she probably just felt she was "confused" and giving you a chance. Some women out there think that they can just develop emotions for men they are initially interested in and since others claim this works they might give this an attempt (which sometimes doesn't work) but ultimately she decided "it" wasn't there and she probably has another option. You have to take into consideration that a lot of women tend to be insecure, so maybe she enjoyed your company, the fact that you were a nice guy or what not so she felt like it would be wrong to throw you back into the pond so she could get attention and feel valued, after all it makes her feel good. However you should have realized that this girl wasn't that into you, you've got to be able to pick up the cues when a girl is just averagely interested...you'll probably feel a distance, or disconnect, just kind of a casual whateverness, maybe even a forced effort or level of interest in you but it doesn't really cross that line of "this woman is clearly interested in me and really likes me"...maybe you were too passive, submissive, catering and she just lost interest or maybe she just never felt much a connection to begin with. Bottom line is you can't change other people, only increase your awareness and save yourself from these kinds of situations. If I were you I would have been pissed of course, that sounds like a ****ty situation to be in...but I'd also have expected myself to catch this sooner rather than later. You didn't really give much details or information about this so I just covered the basics to me...but to answer your question, yeah I'd say you differently were treated unfairly and she wasn't being honest and upfront with you by continuing to date you and pretending everything was going well.
Author gtiboy Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 (edited) I agree with what you guys are saying. She did seem alittle distant in the last two weeks of seeing her. I felt I was initiating contacting her first instead of her contacting me to arrange dates. I told her why wasn't this the case in the beginning of dating and she told me it was an odd thing at first...she didn't know. but she felt awkard when we came close, though she never showed it. She told me that she enjoyed being with me and that towards the end that she felt for me more as a friend. And that she wanted to like me alot like that but didn't seem to happen. She also said none of us did anything wrong. It was honest of her, and I was pissed off. As this could have been avoided after 2 or 3 dates. Edited June 7, 2012 by gtiboy
ladyabstrused Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Maybe she was waiting or looking for something to click throughout those 10 dates you had with her. And nothing clicked for her and so she decides to move on. I do think that she should've at least been honest about how she felt towards you.
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Sounds like she gave it a chance because she liked you but that flame just wouldn't light. I'm not sure that she strung you along though. It sounds like she just got to the point where she realized that flame was never going to kick on and decided to end things. 2
Author gtiboy Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 The worst thing is and I know im going to sound like im contradicting myself here, but I wasn't that into her on the first date, I was kind of 50/50 with her and not overly attracted to her. I thought I'd give her a chance to see where it would go, as she told me she doesn't open up straight away. So gave her that chance, but never felt she truly opened up in an emotional way. I continued to feel like this right up till she ended it. My problem is, why do I now feel upset about it, if I wasn't really into her? Anyone actually experienced this?
Star Gazer Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 You were rejected, that's never fun, even if you weren't all that into the person rejecting you. It's a blow to the ego. As for why she continued dating you, she clearly liked you as a person and enjoyed your company. It's easy to get caught up in that despite there being no passion or sexual attraction. We often hope those feelings will grow because the other parts are so great. But more often than not, it doesn't.
mortensorchid Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 On the plus side, it will not take you too long to get over this. I was with someone last year for about 2 months, then he started backing off until he said that he wanted to take a step back. He said that he was trying to get over someone else from about 9 months before. But he liked me as a friend and wanted us to be friends. And of course, we no longer speak and he has a new girlfriend and I think they live together now. Move on. Better it happened now rather than later on this. 2 months is enough time to get to know a person, so don't worry about her.
goldengirl11 Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 On the plus side, it will not take you too long to get over this. I was with someone last year for about 2 months, then he started backing off until he said that he wanted to take a step back. He said that he was trying to get over someone else from about 9 months before. But he liked me as a friend and wanted us to be friends. And of course, we no longer speak and he has a new girlfriend and I think they live together now. Move on. Better it happened now rather than later on this. 2 months is enough time to get to know a person, so don't worry about her. Did you try to contact him then? Did he ignore you? Seems rather quick for them to be living together already!
Leopard Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Sometimes people wait longer and hope the attraction grows. I guess in this case it didn't.
chphan Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 The worst thing is and I know im going to sound like im contradicting myself here, but I wasn't that into her on the first date, I was kind of 50/50 with her and not overly attracted to her. I thought I'd give her a chance to see where it would go, as she told me she doesn't open up straight away. So gave her that chance, but never felt she truly opened up in an emotional way. I continued to feel like this right up till she ended it. My problem is, why do I now feel upset about it, if I wasn't really into her? Anyone actually experienced this? You were rejected plain and simple and no one likes that. Even if a fat unattractive woman reject you, you will still feel a bit pissed off. It's normal.
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