Stanza Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 My ex left me after nearly 8 years together and I do want him back at this stage, so after some posts and advice from people on here I've resolved to reduce contact. We spoke two days ago however, when I brought up something we own together than needs to be resolved - he originally wanted to keep it and he reacted really weird to my conversation. Even though he's now in a rebound relationship he got very defensive and strange as if it's painful for him to cut material ties with me. Then he mentioned something else we have to split in a sort of retalitory way, it was really weird. He was nice with me until I brought up the stuff that needs dealing with. Should I take it as a sign he's struggling to want to cut all ties or has he just not thought it through? I find it weird as most of his stuff is still in our appartment even though he's with this other girl - who's also rebounding.
d'Arthez Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Sounds like an avoidance strategy on his part. He probably does not want to open up fresh wounds again. Perhaps an idea for you to put all his stuff in boxes, so you don't have to deal with all the physical reminders of your relationship.
Author Stanza Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 Makes sense, I do think I will start packing up his stuff. Into a dark corner
d'Arthez Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Be aware that him keeping some stuff at your place can also be a way of trying to attempt and control you / keep a bit of a hold over you. Thus enabling him to screw around, and at the same time keeping you in the picture when things do not work out.
greenz Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Be aware that him keeping some stuff at your place can also be a way of trying to attempt and control you / keep a bit of a hold over you. Thus enabling him to screw around' date=' and at the same time keeping you in the picture when things do not work out.[/quote'] Agreed. Don't enable him. Get him to get his crap out. If he's not ready to commit to you, the finality of his decision to run is the only thing that might change his mind. He has to see that the grass is not greener on the other side. And if it is for him, well then at least you're not wasting your time.
Author Stanza Posted June 9, 2012 Author Posted June 9, 2012 Thanks, I agree with what you all say. I'm going to try to pack some of it up myself this weekend.
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