Kathyy28 Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I came back to this site to revisit my past. To see how far have I come, and how much my life had changed for the better. Just a recap of the reason on why I joined this amazing, helpful, site over a year ago. I dated a guy who I was best friend's/ neighbor for the past 12 years. He was my first serious relationship, and when he ended things I was beyond devastated. I couldn't see a tomorrow without him. But guess what? Tomorrow came, and I had survived. So I decided to take this painful break up day by day. Two months after the break up I had received and acceptance letter to a university 1500 miles away, and a month after my acceptance I moved away. Once I moved, I decided to change my life. Try to find myself. Still confused and hurt by the break-up, I made sure to occupy my mind. During my time on LS, some of the other members had recommended a book called Getting Past Your Break-Up by Susan J. Elliot that truly did helped me snap out of my funk, and actually move forward with myself whenever I got tempted to break NC. During the the time that my ex and I were in NC with each other, I had focused on three things. Living a healthier life, getting good grades in school and getting to know my religion more. I'm proud to say that I was able to accomplished all three, and I had finally learned to love myself first. I had come back home to Boston for Christmas break, and although I hadn't herd, nor exchange any contact with my ex, he had finally reached out to me. I had spent MONTHS picturing and creating scenarios in my head on how our first talk would of been. It was already over 7 months after he had broken up with me that he had made the effort to at least have a "friendship". We met up for coffee, and that night stayed on the phone for 8 hours. After that call I felt like my prayers were being answered. My ex had finally admitted to me that he regrets breaking up with me. I only had 10 days left before flying back to FL for spring semester, so we made the best out of those days. He had made it his mission to win me over by writing me a letter every single day and mailing it to my place back in FL. It truly felt like a fairy tale, with him writing to me daily, getting flower deliveries and text messages with him telling me that he will show me how much he changed. He didn't wanted me to take him back because he wanted me to date other people and choose him. I didn't have to date anyone since a month and a half later after he started his quest to win me over, he had showed me that he still was the same mentally and emotionally unstable guy who would always break-up with me during the relationship. On Feb 12 we both had realized that I was no longer the same female who he dated, and since he was still the same guy, we were not compatible anymore. He had surprised me witha delivery of roses, a sweet card telling me that he wanted me to one day marry him, and some chocolates on Valentine's day. I thought that was very sweet, considering the fact that exactly a year ago he had broken up with me. Later on that day, I came to find out that he had surprised another female at her job with roses too. Although he had said she was just a friend, and she had confirmed it to me too, I had decided that I couldn't have a relationship with him anymore. You see, right after he broke up with me I thought I had this perfect relationship, and could only think of the good times instead of the bad. A year later I realized that I wasn't in this "almost-perfect" relationship I had made myself believe in. My ex isn't a bad guy, but he isn't emotionally matured yet. He is a good guy who has a lot to learn, and appreciate. But one thing I have learned is that yes my ex is a good guy, but he isn't the only good guy in the world. I'm dating someone, and he is not a good guy. He is a great guy who is actually willing to put an effort in a relationship. Give back the same effort to hold onto a healthy relationship, and actually fix the problems instead of running away. If things work out with him long term than that's great, but for now I'm beyond blessed to finally know what a healthy relationship should be like. You may feel right now that your ex is one in a million, but just remember that there isn't only a million people in this world. There are about 7 billion, which means there's at least 7,000 just like your ex out there. But why go for someone who's just like your ex? When I'm pretty sure there are a lot more people compatible and better for you. F.Y.I- Now that I have finally moved on, guess who has tried to come back to the picture again? 3
barese1 Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 God I really hope I feel that way after some time. Well done, I'm happy for ya
Buttercup84 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 That is fantastic , it has been almost a year for me too and I decided to come back here to have a look . My ex wanted me back too but then changed his mind . That was the moment I knew he was messed up and I suddenly just stopped missing him . Getting past your break up is amazing . Good luck with your new guy
Sugarkane Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 This is a great post. I was a bit surprised. I guess as they rarely make a effort at a recon. People like me never ever even hear from them again. I was also surprised as it seem most people want their ex back on here.
barese1 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 This is a great post. I was a bit surprised. I guess as they rarely make a effort at a recon. People like me never ever even hear from them again. I was also surprised as it seem most people want their ex back on here. Ha same here Sugarkane, whenever I split with a girl, never ever hear from them again, I must be doing something wrong!
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