Why Do People think Lowly Of Hookers?

[Robert Z]

If you can be truthful and go to hookers then OK, but lying is wrong. Most life problems either stem from a lie or depend on lies for their existence. Lying will eventually destroy the relationship you are so disingenuously claiming to value, so the choices you have presented are false.

 

Disengenuously? You all are so quick to judge! Why would I be disengenuous about something that doesn't even affect me? Remember, I did leave my wife and I'm not cheating on anyone. You are claiming that some moral abstraction is more important that everything else that comes with a family. THAT is a lie. You are also completely ignoring how common this problem is and what all is at stake for many men and their families. Once the kids are gone, it probably makes more sense to just leave, but that may be years down the road.

 

If the status quo is really valuable, then maintain it.

 

Yes, be miserable and work till you die, or break up the family. That's the solution? Based on what, your personal moral imperatiive?

 

The truth is cheaters cheat not for the comfort of others but for themselves. Anything else is a justification attempt. If it's really for the good of all then it should be OK to be open and honest about it, which is not cheating.

 

A man has needs. But many women simply refuse to accept that. Sure a man gets a hooker for himself, but that doesn't suggest that he doesn't need one to keep his sanity. If his marriage was worth saving he probably wouldn't need a hooker. So it isn't about the wife and being honest with someone who has already betrayed him. She doesn't deserve honesty. She forfitted that right when she started denying him sex. He has every right to do what he needs to do and make the best of it.

Edited June 27, 2012 by Robert Z

[Els]

And what about the home, the credit, the kids! Life isn't always so simple. I think many men deserve credit for hanging in there for the family even if their wives no longer shows them any affection. If a man has to get a hooker to keep his sanity in order to support his family, then bully for him for doing so!!!

 

Walking away would often be the easy way out, but it can come at a huge price for others, especially the kids. in fact, those are the weapons women use while betting that their poor lonely husband won't walk. Many wives seem to figure they can do pretty much anything they want because so much is at stake.

 

I hate to burst your bubble, but just as how prostitutes don't love you, you aren't doing your kids any favours by remaining married in a loveless R while cheating on your wife. The only reason your wife figures that she can do 'pretty much anything' is because YOU choose to stay and cheat instead of manning up and leaving when the time is more than ripe. Stop playing the damned victim and take responsibility for your own decisions.

[Robert Z]

This only shows that prostitutes are people as well.

 

Yeah, how about that! They are people with feelings and friends just like everyone else. They can even be friends with their clients without it being something ugly.

[FredRutherford]

Originally Posted by FredRutherford

This only shows that prostitutes are people as well.

Yeah, how about that! They are people with feelings and friends just like everyone else. They can even be friends with their clients without it being something ugly.

Doesn't mean dating or marrying one -- or employing their services -- would be a great idea.

 

Sorry. Am with nofool4u and others on this one.

[Mme. Chaucer]

The concept that somehow men are "victims" if their wife won't have sex with them, and are thereby "driven" to prostitutes is ridiculous.

 

First, lack of sex in a marriage is a marital problem. It is not "abuse" and there aren't any victims. It's up to the people involved in a marriage to work out how to get their needs met and how to have a healthy union - or get out, if the partner won't work on it too.

 

Second, nobody is "driven" to prostitutes. Unless it's in a taxi.

 

Robert Z, you remind me of my old friend from middle school who shoplifted a LOT. When caught, she said it was her parents' fault. They "drove" her to shoplifting because they wouldn't buy her the stuff she wanted on demand.

 

Very childish, entitled and completely lacking in accountability.

[Robert Z]

The concept that somehow men are "victims" if their wife won't have sex with them, and are thereby "driven" to prostitutes is ridiculous.

 

Really. Ridiculous because you can't handle the truth?

 

lack of sex in a marriage is a marital problem. It is not "abuse" and there aren't any victims. It's up to the people involved in a marriage to work out how to get their needs met and how to have a healthy union - or get out, if the partner won't work on it too.

 

Or get out. Again and again, you people assume that this is always a reasonable option. You see no value in a man doing his best to maintain the situation until the kids are grown? Do you have any idea how many people stay together just for the kids? In my case it, in addition to other factors, it was a false sense of duty imprinted on my brain by religious crap. I felt a duty to take care of her in spite of the situation. Only after years did I begin to realize that this isn't fair to me.

 

It is sooooooo easy to judge when you are just a back-seat driver.

 

Second, nobody is "driven" to prostitutes. Unless it's in a taxi.

 

Driven as in, I have nowhere else to go for affection. Is it your position that men don't have real needs? Do you see this as some kind of game? Do you think men suddenly wake up and think, by god I need to get a hooker? No! It is only after a great deal of personal turmoil and suffering that [most] men are driven to this. Obviously there are exceptions but I've seen it too many times. Many men are living desperate lives simply because they are good guys and their wives could care less.

 

Robert Z, you remind me of my old friend from middle school who shoplifted a LOT. When caught, she said it was her parents' fault. They "drove" her to shoplifting because they wouldn't buy her the stuff she wanted on demand.

 

Very childish, entitled and completely lacking in accountability.

 

See, none of this applies to me. That's where your argument completely fails. I am arguing for all the men out there suffering. I have moved on. I've got it made! This isn't about me. It is about all the friends I've known over the decacdes whose selfish wives thought sex was optional.

Edited June 27, 2012 by Robert Z

[Robert Z]

I am also putting women on notice. The internet has changed everything. You had better wise up and start showing some consideration for your men. They have other places to go now without chasing streetwalkers. There are beautiful young women just waiting...

[Els]

There are always women everywhere, Robert, but not all men are YOU.

[KathyM]

I am also putting women on notice. The internet has changed everything. You had better wise up and start showing some consideration for your men. They have other places to go now without chasing streetwalkers. There are beautiful young women just waiting...

Yep, and as long as men prefer to be dishonest cowards rather than having the balls to either fix their marriage or leave it, and as long as there are women all too willing to enable those cowards to cheat on their wives, this "profession" will continue and get worse, making it easier and easier for men to be pigs, rather than honorable men who actually have to work at improving their marriages rather than taking the easier, cowardly way out by lieing and cheating. As long as there are cowards and enablers, there will be wives and children out there suffering the consequences of those cowards and enablers.

[joystickd]

Yep, and as long as men prefer to be dishonest cowards rather than having the balls to either fix their marriage or leave it, and as long as there are women all too willing to enable those cowards to cheat on their wives, this "profession" will continue and get worse, making it easier and easier for men to be pigs, rather than honorable men who actually have to work at improving their marriages rather than taking the easier, cowardly way out by lieing and cheating. As long as there are cowards and enablers, there will be wives and children out there suffering the consequences of those cowards and enablers.

Mindsets ruin marriages not prostitutes. Prostitutes are merely the catalyst. Are you afraid your husband will pay for some side booty? I mean you are so fixated on prostitution ruining marriage. What are the origins of these beliefs and not the testimonies and "studies"? What is your actual personal experiences that led you to these beliefs?

[Els]

The concept that somehow men are "victims" if their wife won't have sex with them, and are thereby "driven" to prostitutes is ridiculous.

 

First, lack of sex in a marriage is a marital problem. It is not "abuse" and there aren't any victims. It's up to the people involved in a marriage to work out how to get their needs met and how to have a healthy union - or get out, if the partner won't work on it too.

 

Second, nobody is "driven" to prostitutes. Unless it's in a taxi.

 

Robert Z, you remind me of my old friend from middle school who shoplifted a LOT. When caught, she said it was her parents' fault. They "drove" her to shoplifting because they wouldn't buy her the stuff she wanted on demand.

 

Very childish, entitled and completely lacking in accountability.

 

Precisely. Frankly, I absolutely love sexual intimacy with the bf, but I would feel extremely put off from it if a guy whom I was with displayed Robert's mindset about sex. Sex is supposed to be an act of mutual pleasure for both parties, not the 'duty' a wife owes her husband to satisfy a 'survival need of his'. Gee, I wonder why a woman wouldn't be jumping to fulfill a 'duty'? There is no 'us' or 'we', just 'me me me' in all of that.

[somedude81]

Here's what I'm thinking.

 

If your in a marriage, have kids, no fights, everything seems fine, but the wife doesn't want to have sex anymore. Is that enough grounds for a divorce?

 

It just seems like letting the man have outside sex would be the smart thing to do.

 

Of course all the usual channels of marriage counseling should be used first.

[Els]

Here's what I'm thinking.

 

If your in a marriage, have kids, no fights, everything seems fine, but the wife doesn't want to have sex anymore. Is that enough grounds for a divorce?

 

It just seems like letting the man have outside sex would be the smart thing to do.

 

Of course all the usual channels of marriage counseling should be used first.

 

This is correct if the wife was actually 'letting him' do it.

[123321]

Here's what I'm thinking.

 

If your in a marriage, have kids, no fights, everything seems fine, but the wife doesn't want to have sex anymore. Is that enough grounds for a divorce?

 

If the marriage is good and everything else is fine then they should have had many frank and open discussions about this way before it's a crisis. I was married. It turned into a sexless train-wreck. *I* tried to talk about it many times. I expressed my feelings on the matter many times.

 

Eventually we separated and divorced. That's what you do if you are unhappy. Also, if women are really interested in men "growing a set of balls" they should take an active role in altering family law; I got stuck with a spousal support tab for the better part of 1/2 a million American dollars, and that is enough to make a lot of guys consider cheating as an option.

[Els]

Don't have a right to petition for what Americans do; here spousal support is not conducted in the same way. Regardless, I think that if it matters enough to a person to retain their moral and ethical dignity, they will pay whatever price they need rather than cheat. I would say the same to a woman who was contemplating cheating because her emotional needs were not being met, but didn't want to lose the lavish lifestyle that she had gotten used to in her marriage. Gotta choose either way.

[KathyM]

Mindsets ruin marriages not prostitutes. Prostitutes are merely the catalyst. Are you afraid your husband will pay for some side booty? I mean you are so fixated on prostitution ruining marriage. What are the origins of these beliefs and not the testimonies and "studies"? What is your actual personal experiences that led you to these beliefs?

It takes two to cheat--the cheater and the enabler. If the enabler weren't so ready, willing and able to help that man cheat on his wife, maybe he would make the attempt to make his marriage work and fix the problems in the marriage, rather than taking the cowardly, deceitful, dishonest way out. I'm against all forms of marital infidelity, whether it is through paid services or not, and I have spoken out plenty of times on this board on the infidelity forum and elsewhere about the damage it does to people and to families when selfish desires are indulged with no regard for the consequences. You ask me what led to my beliefs--it's because I've seen for myself, through people that I know, friends and relatives, the damage marital infidelity can do to people. The harm it does to the BS, the children of the marriage, and ultimately to the WS when his escapades are discovered and he loses his wife and kids, his finances, his reputation, the respect of his children and family, etc. It's not just prostitution that I am calling out for what it is--destructive and dishonest--it's all forms of infidelity, and I have seen the damage it causes in the lives of those involved, and that is why I am speaking out against it, rather than supporting a profession whose primary purpose is to enable married men to cheat on their wives.

[zengirl]

It takes two to cheat--the cheater and the enabler. If the enabler weren't so ready, willing and able to help that man cheat on his wife, maybe he would make the attempt to make his marriage work and fix the problems in the marriage, rather than taking the cowardly, deceitful, dishonest way out.

 

Why would anyone want someone to work on the marriage just because there were no other options? I really don't get that.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

See, none of this applies to me. That's where your argument completely fails. I am arguing for all the men out there suffering. I have moved on. I've got it made! This isn't about me. It is about all the friends I've known over the decacdes whose selfish wives thought sex was optional.

 

Sex IS optional. People need to want to do it. Obviously nobody wants to do it with you - unless you pay for it. If you think that's "having it made," well - not much I can say to that.

 

It's actually pathetic to read your accounts of the "friendship" and "affection" you get from prostitutes. They aren't your friends, Robert, even though all parties involved in such transactions are party to maintaining whatever illusion the random john is paying for.

 

I am also putting women on notice. The internet has changed everything. You had better wise up and start showing some consideration for your men. They have other places to go now without chasing streetwalkers. There are beautiful young women just waiting...

 

Just waiting for suckers who prefer to pay for sex than have it as a part of a multi dimensional relationship - or even to picking up on strange in real life.

 

You know - if my husband was unhappy with me, he would not use the threat of paying for sex with a pro as a threat to get me to do what he wanted. That's just not the kind of man he is, thank God - but it is the kind of man YOU are.

 

I'm not against it! You go, fella.

[joystickd]

It takes two to cheat--the cheater and the enabler. If the enabler weren't so ready, willing and able to help that man cheat on his wife, maybe he would make the attempt to make his marriage work and fix the problems in the marriage, rather than taking the cowardly, deceitful, dishonest way out. I'm against all forms of marital infidelity, whether it is through paid services or not, and I have spoken out plenty of times on this board on the infidelity forum and elsewhere about the damage it does to people and to families when selfish desires are indulged with no regard for the consequences. You ask me what led to my beliefs--it's because I've seen for myself, through people that I know, friends and relatives, the damage marital infidelity can do to people. The harm it does to the BS, the children of the marriage, and ultimately to the WS when his escapades are discovered and he loses his wife and kids, his finances, his reputation, the respect of his children and family, etc. It's not just prostitution that I am calling out for what it is--destructive and dishonest--it's all forms of infidelity, and I have seen the damage it causes in the lives of those involved, and that is why I am speaking out against it, rather than supporting a profession whose primary purpose is to enable married men to cheat on their wives.

 

Take prostitution out of the picture and the cheating would happen for free with some able bodied female. The whole prostitute infidelity thing in a sense is partially illogical. If you are calling out all forms of infidelity then don't use prostitution as a tool for your cause.

[KathyM]

Take prostitution out of the picture and the cheating would happen for free with some able bodied female. The whole prostitute infidelity thing in a sense is partially illogical. If you are calling out all forms of infidelity then don't use prostitution as a tool for your cause.

Prostitution is one method men use to cheat on their wives, so I am not going to exclude it when I speak out against infidelity. And since it is the subject of this thread, and the primary "work" that prostitutes do involves enabling married men to cheat on their wives, I'm going to call it out on this thread. And state my objection to the legitimizing and legalizing of a profession whose main "work" involves enabling men to cheat on their wives. That type of profession does not deserve respect, legalization, or validity of any kind. It is destructive, and I will call it out as such.

[joystickd]

Prostitution is one method men use to cheat on their wives, so I am not going to exclude it when I speak out against infidelity. And since it is the subject of this thread, and the primary "work" that prostitutes do involves enabling married men to cheat on their wives, I'm going to call it out on this thread. And state my objection to the legitimizing and legalizing of a profession whose main "work" involves enabling men to cheat on their wives. That type of profession does not deserve respect, legalization, or validity of any kind. It is destructive, and I will call it out as such.

 

Holding on to obsolete beliefs and being against society evolving is destructive too and I will call it out as such.

[123321]

..... my objection to the legitimizing and legalizing of a profession whose main "work" involves enabling men to cheat on their wives.

 

This is not supported by facts.

[Robert Z]

You keep talking about "affection" but what you are getting is sex.

 

I also get affection and tenderness. See, people want to think this is a cold unfeeling thing, and it can be, but isn't necessarily so. Even though I don't want any strings attached or expectations, I like to see the same girls rather than constantly seeing new ones because we develop a safe and rewarding relationship. They like me, I like them, and we both try to make each other happy.

 

As I said, these relationships can be more along the lines of a professional mistress than that of a prostitute and client.

[Robert Z]

Yep, and as long as men prefer to be dishonest cowards rather than having the balls to either fix their marriage or leave it, and as long as there are women all too willing to enable those cowards to cheat on their wives, this "profession" will continue and get worse, making it easier and easier for men to be pigs, rather than honorable men who actually have to work at improving their marriages rather than taking the easier, cowardly way out by lieing and cheating. As long as there are cowards and enablers, there will be wives and children out there suffering the consequences of those cowards and enablers.

 

Work at improving their marriage? PLEASE!!! What a joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Most women reach a point where they lose interest in sex. There is nothing to repair. It is a problem of hormones and women who truly believe they have no responsibility to ther men. They refuse to try because they think a change in life means total selfishness is just fine. So to talk about repairing a marriage is total nonsense. What needs repairing is the attitude women like you have towards men and their genuine need for sex.

[Robert Z]

Mindsets ruin marriages

 

More fundamentally, hormones ruin marriages.