Why Do People think Lowly Of Hookers?

[KathyM]

Have you ever talked to real hookers? Are these actual studies or surveys? The funny thing about "studies" and testimonies is that people can tell you anything.

I've read studies and surveys and testimonies, all saying that most of the clients are married men. They would have no reason to lie about this--if anything, they would lie saying that most were single, not that most were married.

[123321]

Do you have a comprehension problem, among other issues?

 

That sounds a lot like a personal attack, when all I did was express surprise at what you wrote.

 

"All the studies say that I have read ..." means that there are studies that speak about "what you have read", although now that I see it being responded to I assume you meant to say "All the studies that I have read say ....", which I have to say, makes me want a link to those studies. But not the ones about what you have read, if those really exist. Or not.

[KathyM]

I am really curious what Kathy thinks all the married men who went seeking prostitutes would do, if somehow, miraculously, the profession was completely abolished altogether. They'd all think, "Aww, I can't get me no prostitutes to sleep with anymore, so I had better stop that and start being a good and faithful husband and father now and love my wife", I suppose?

If women weren't so willing to accommodate these men, there would be less cheating. If it weren't so easy. Married men use prostitutes because they aren't going to be calling the wife to make trouble. They aren't going to be expecting more from the guy than just the payment. They are paid to leave, and that is what appeals to married men--fewer potential problems and less risk of discovery. Legalizing a "job" whose primary purpose is to help men cheat on their wives is not a good thing.

[KathyM]

That sounds a lot like a personal attack, when all I did was express surprise at what you wrote.

 

"All the studies say that I have read ..." means that there are studies that speak about "what you have read", although now that I see it being responded to I assume you meant to say "All the studies that I have read say ....", which I have to say, makes me want a link to those studies. But not the ones about what you have read, if those really exist. Or not.

What I said was not rocket science to figure out. Try to keep up.

[joystickd]

I've read studies and surveys and testimonies, all saying that most of the clients are married men. They would have no reason to lie about this--if anything, they would lie saying that most were single, not that most were married.

Do you have actual figure on the tricks (johns) that are married that are arrested? Do these testimonies actually mention pimping in regards to the streetwalker? Any mention of pimps calling hookers not pimped renegades or outlaws? I bet you have none of this or have any knowledge of this.

[joystickd]

If women weren't so willing to accommodate these men, there would be less cheating. If it weren't so easy. Married men use prostitutes because they aren't going to be calling the wife to make trouble. They aren't going to be expecting more from the guy than just the payment. They are paid to leave, and that is what appeals to married men--fewer potential problems and less risk of discovery. Legalizing a "job" whose primary purpose is to help men cheat on their wives is not a good thing.

Why if you are married pay for it and have to deal with the question of unaccounted for money? There are women willing to get piped for free.

[denise_xo]

I don't generally agree with KathyM's perspective on this issue, but I think her point about aiding infidelity is valid and I don't really understand the need to downplay that dimension. Yes, many clients are single, but many are married or in relationships. While infidelity is primarily the responsibility of the married spouse, if I were a prostitute I would consider myself as engaging in deceptive behaviour and invading a marriage behind another woman's back every time I provided sex to a married man. If a reglar poster here, whether male or female, has sex with someone who is in a committed relationship with someone else, he or she rightfully receives a lot of criticism. I'm surprised how this somehow doesn't seem to apply to prostitutes, especially those who do it as a choice among others rather than as a result of having no/limited alternatives.

 

More generally, we all have a responsibility for the kind of mark we leave the world which goes beyond the question of personal choice. If I choose to go into prostitution, I need to consider my role in aiding infidelity on a weekly or daily basis, just like I need to consider my role in exploiting labour if I work for a company that denies workers overseas basic rights. If you don't generally support infidelity, why be so lax about the prostitution sector's role in aiding it?

[123321]

What I said was not rocket science to figure out. Try to keep up.

 

Well to be honest it never is but for a moment I was looking at what you wrote instead of having my "what the hell does she mean this time" glasses on. I'll try to figure out what you mean instead of what you say from now on.

 

So which studies?

[123321]

I don't generally agree with KathyM's perspective on this issue, but I think her point about aiding infidelity is valid and I don't really understand the need to downplay that dimension.

 

Because it's irrelevant. Hotel keepers, florists, barmaids, shopping malls, dark alleys, the California wine industry, soap operas, speedos, bad days in the office, condoms, quarterly bonuses, short skirts, and any number of other things have all contributed to infidelity. It's not their fault, it's the responsibility of the person who made and then decided to break the commitment, no more no less.

[denise_xo]

^ ^ ^

It all boils down to choice. You’ve created a scenario built around choice of which there will be consequences – judgements by yourself (and others) depending on the choices some here make. Add to that, the fact that we’re discussing an issue where choice (or the lack thereof) is a major discussion point in of itself.

 

Be it prostitutes, their clients, posters or people in general – the choices we make will have consequences.

 

Yes, and as members of a society we need to put our choices into context. Are my choices systematically invading other people's marriages? If I as a single person routinely slept with married men, would that be socially acceptable? It wouldn't be where I lived. I don't see how receiving money for the service changes that scenario.

 

I also haven't seen many responses that leads me to believe that we are as accepting of prostitution as we claim to be when it's all out in the open. I think the day when I go to a party and hear the phrase "my wife will be joining us in an hour or so, she is just finishing up a blow job for Alice's husband up the road" is a few years away.

[denise_xo]

Because it's irrelevant. Hotel keepers, florists, barmaids, shopping malls, dark alleys, the California wine industry, soap operas, speedos, bad days in the office, condoms, quarterly bonuses, short skirts, and any number of other things have all contributed to infidelity. It's not their fault, it's the responsibility of the person who made and then decided to break the commitment, no more no less.

 

Disagree. It isn't irrelevant when you institutionalise it as a taxable service. And the fact that others do it voluntarily is not an argument in its favour.

[123321]

Disagree. It isn't irrelevant when you institutionalise it as a taxable service. And the fact that others do it voluntarily is not an argument in its favour.

 

All the things I listed are also taxed goods or services, non of them have tax exemptions, and the taxed status of something shouldn't make the societal burden it carries greater, in fact being tax exempt should do so if anything.

[Mme. Chaucer]

All the studies say that I have read that the clients of prostitutes are mostly married men. All the testimonies I have read from prostitutes say that most of their clients are married men. Your denial of that does not change the facts. Most of their clients are married men.

 

That would probably prove that most marriages are not worth the paper the licenses are printed on. If it were factual.

 

"All of the testimonies" and "all the studies" you've read? I can just imagine the sources of these facts you have such a firm grasp upon.

 

I'm pretty sure that the majority of the prostitutes in the world don't have a clue whether the johns are married or not. Can you just picture it? Guy cruising around the red light district of your city where the desperate crack addicts are standing around selling their bodies to get drug money - he pulls over, she gets in … and they have a chat about his MARRIAGE???

 

No.

 

For the record, you proclaiming that something is a "fact" does not actually make it a fact.

[A O]

Yes, and as members of a society we need to put our choices into context. Are my choices systematically invading other people's marriages? If I as a single person routinely slept with married men, would that be socially acceptable? It wouldn't be where I lived. I don't see how receiving money for the service changes that scenario.

Prostitution ruins few marriages. That is proper context. It’s a specious argument used more as a tool to denounce a practice that some found despicable that it is an accurate reflection of the consequences this profession actually has on relationships. The lack of any meaningful data to support such a claim attests to this.

 

I also haven't seen many responses that leads me to believe that we are as accepting of prostitution as we claim to be when it's all out in the open. I think the day when I go to a party and hear the phrase "my wife will be joining us in an hour or so, she is just finishing up a blow job for Alice's husband up the road" is a few years away.

Prostitutes are people. We don’t have to accept what they do but we can view/treat them with basic human respect. That’s all I’m saying…

[Els]

If women weren't so willing to accommodate these men, there would be less cheating. If it weren't so easy. Married men use prostitutes because they aren't going to be calling the wife to make trouble. They aren't going to be expecting more from the guy than just the payment. They are paid to leave, and that is what appeals to married men--fewer potential problems and less risk of discovery. Legalizing a "job" whose primary purpose is to help men cheat on their wives is not a good thing.

 

Well, we disagree on that. To me, cheating is defined by the intent. Even if he hits on a girl at work and tries to get her to have sex with him but she declined him, he cheated. End of story.

 

I don't generally agree with KathyM's perspective on this issue, but I think her point about aiding infidelity is valid and I don't really understand the need to downplay that dimension. Yes, many clients are single, but many are married or in relationships. While infidelity is primarily the responsibility of the married spouse, if I were a prostitute I would consider myself as engaging in deceptive behaviour and invading a marriage behind another woman's back every time I provided sex to a married man. If a reglar poster here, whether male or female, has sex with someone who is in a committed relationship with someone else, he or she rightfully receives a lot of criticism. I'm surprised how this somehow doesn't seem to apply to prostitutes, especially those who do it as a choice among others rather than as a result of having no/limited alternatives.

 

More generally, we all have a responsibility for the kind of mark we leave the world which goes beyond the question of personal choice. If I choose to go into prostitution, I need to consider my role in aiding infidelity on a weekly or daily basis, just like I need to consider my role in exploiting labour if I work for a company that denies workers overseas basic rights. If you don't generally support infidelity, why be so lax about the prostitution sector's role in aiding it?

 

I agree with you in a general sense. I think, with prostitutes, though, a closer analogy would be to that of a woman who sleeps with a man without knowing that he is married. The possibility of having sex with a married man is inherent to all women who participate in sex with men they barely know, not just prostitutes.

 

I don't think the majority of prostitutes know which of their clients are married or to whom. It is probably a breach of professional conduct to ask or investigate. Just as how doctors have to treat for HIV without informing the patient's partners without their consent or even demanding to know about them. Ethical? Not really, IMO. But that's just the way laws of confidentiality and business work.

[Eclypse]

The points brought up about married men cheating are certainly valid. However, as someone said before, prostitution being legal or not will not change whether someone is going to cheat or not. In fact unless I'm mistaken, the most common types of cheating are the drunk bar / club and office affairs yes? No prostitution there and you certainly aren't immune from STI's. In the end it all comes down to a persons willpower and the individual is the one who decides if they will cheat. So instead of attacking prostitutes, perhaps you should lay at least some (most) of the blame on the men who do this. The people who see pro's and then sleep with their wife are absolute scum.

 

Why am I not seeing this level of hatred toward bartenders? Alcohol is a poison that not only damages your body, but can cause you to do stupid things like kill someone by accident. Yet alcohol is legal. As I've said before it all comes down to personal choice. You can decide not to drink like an idiot, and you can decide not to cheat on your spouse.

 

Also, how on earth would a prostitute know if her client was married or not? Why would she even bother to ask? I can't imagine there being much socialising going on. Perhaps someone who has been to a prostitute can enlighten me on this? Do you need to fill out a questionnaire before each service?

 

I would say overall my views are very similar to Elswyths on this issue. Logic must prevail here.

[123321]

I can't imagine there being much socialising going on. Perhaps someone who has been to a prostitute can enlighten me on this? Do you need to fill out a questionnaire before each service?

 

When I go into a place where I'm not known(1), the girls will of course have a look and try to catch my eye or whatever, and a few will eventually take a run at me. When I was single I'd buy a drink or two for them and my status never came up, but now I don't, and THAT eventually gets (often) a query regarding my status.

 

"You married? Have a GF?"

 

But if I go along with the program, it never used to come up.

 

(1) A few local places here I go out for a beer with friends with some regularity, for beer, rugby, etc.

[BetheButterfly]

While infidelity is primarily the responsibility of the married spouse, if I were a prostitute I would consider myself as engaging in deceptive behaviour and invading a marriage behind another woman's back every time I provided sex to a married man. If a reglar poster here, whether male or female, has sex with someone who is in a committed relationship with someone else, he or she rightfully receives a lot of criticism. I'm surprised how this somehow doesn't seem to apply to prostitutes, especially those who do it as a choice among others rather than as a result of having no/limited alternatives.

 

More generally, we all have a responsibility for the kind of mark we leave the world which goes beyond the question of personal choice. If I choose to go into prostitution, I need to consider my role in aiding infidelity on a weekly or daily basis, just like I need to consider my role in exploiting labour if I work for a company that denies workers overseas basic rights. If you don't generally support infidelity, why be so lax about the prostitution sector's role in aiding it?

 

I very much agree with this post, because prostitution, like slavery, includes the buying and selling of human bodies. Neither prostitution nor slavery (and sad to say in the world today, there are thousands of sex slaves) contribute positively to society. Rather, both tend to take advantage of the poor at the hands of those who get rich off of them.

 

The reasons why I personally do not want to be a prostitute are the following:

 

1. I love God. God says that prostitution is a no-no, and there are valid reasons for that. God is not a mean ole dictator waiting to zap disobedient people. Rather, the commands He gives have good reasons, including the desire to protect people from making harmful decisions.

2. I love my hubby. As a wife, it is my joy and privilege to have sex with my hubby and with him alone. Having sex with other men, whether as a business or for "fun", would hurt my wonderful husband emotionally. It would destroy our marriage because we made the commitment to be faithful to each other. Having sex with other men, either those who pay for it or not, also could expose me to sexual diseases. I could also get pregnant by another man. None of these issues are worth the money for the risk.

3. I love my family. My parents are wonderful people who taught their daughters to care for others and to be positive contributers to society. My family strives to help people who are in need, and many of these people are girls trying to get out of prostitution. Sadly, many girls caught in prostitution are on drugs. It is very hard for them to start a new life, though thankfully some do pull through and eventually get a job that does not involve people using their bodies.

4. Before I got married, I understood that prostitution was not an option for me because being a prostitute does not help me in my goals. My goal of getting married to a wonderful man would not be very possible if I were having sex for money. Why? Because the kind of man I wanted (and did marry!) does not feel the need to go to a prostitute, and does not think that is good to do. Rather, he very much desires sex and love together with a woman he loves and trusts: me! If I had been a prostitute when I met him, I would have automatically disqualified myself for being a woman who he would want to spend the rest of his life with and have children with, because of the type of man he is.

 

Now, I understand there are reasons why other women want to be prostitutes. Money is the main factor for those who willingly go into this profession. Others really enjoy sex, and disassociate it with love. However, many girls who get into prostitution have been sexually abused, have been trafficked/forced into this "career", and deserve help in getting out of this. Sad to say, many young girls are taken advantage of by greedy pimps, and they need help.

 

Prostitutes do not need or deserve hate, mocking, disgust, or condemnation. They need help. Many have dreams of becoming a wife to a wonderful man and having children someday, and prostitution hurts that. Most men do not want to be married to an active prostitute. Most men (and most women) want to be married to someone who enjoys having sex with them and who does not allow others to use their bodies for money.

[123321]

I very much agree with this post, because prostitution, like slavery, includes the buying and selling of human bodies.

 

More like rentals. No more intrinsically slaves than a ditch digger.

[joystickd]

I very much agree with this post, because prostitution, like slavery, includes the buying and selling of human bodies. Neither prostitution nor slavery (and sad to say in the world today, there are thousands of sex slaves) contribute positively to society. Rather, both tend to take advantage of the poor at the hands of those who get rich off of them.

 

The reasons why I personally do not want to be a prostitute are the following:

 

1. I love God. God says that prostitution is a no-no, and there are valid reasons for that. God is not a mean ole dictator waiting to zap disobedient people. Rather, the commands He gives have good reasons, including the desire to protect people from making harmful decisions.

2. I love my hubby. As a wife, it is my joy and privilege to have sex with my hubby and with him alone. Having sex with other men, whether as a business or for "fun", would hurt my wonderful husband emotionally. It would destroy our marriage because we made the commitment to be faithful to each other. Having sex with other men, either those who pay for it or not, also could expose me to sexual diseases. I could also get pregnant by another man. None of these issues are worth the money for the risk.

3. I love my family. My parents are wonderful people who taught their daughters to care for others and to be positive contributers to society. My family strives to help people who are in need, and many of these people are girls trying to get out of prostitution. Sadly, many girls caught in prostitution are on drugs. It is very hard for them to start a new life, though thankfully some do pull through and eventually get a job that does not involve people using their bodies.

4. Before I got married, I understood that prostitution was not an option for me because being a prostitute does not help me in my goals. My goal of getting married to a wonderful man would not be very possible if I were having sex for money. Why? Because the kind of man I wanted (and did marry!) does not feel the need to go to a prostitute, and does not think that is good to do. Rather, he very much desires sex and love together with a woman he loves and trusts: me! If I had been a prostitute when I met him, I would have automatically disqualified myself for being a woman who he would want to spend the rest of his life with and have children with, because of the type of man he is.

 

Now, I understand there are reasons why other women want to be prostitutes. Money is the main factor for those who willingly go into this profession. Others really enjoy sex, and disassociate it with love. However, many girls who get into prostitution have been sexually abused, have been trafficked/forced into this "career", and deserve help in getting out of this. Sad to say, many young girls are taken advantage of by greedy pimps, and they need help.

 

Prostitutes do not need or deserve hate, mocking, disgust, or condemnation. They need help. Many have dreams of becoming a wife to a wonderful man and having children someday, and prostitution hurts that. Most men do not want to be married to an active prostitute. Most men (and most women) want to be married to someone who enjoys having sex with them and who does not allow others to use their bodies for money.

So the woman that works at the Bunny Ranch a few weeks a year and makes enough money to last the rest of that year is a slave

[Robert Z]

So the woman that works at the Bunny Ranch a few weeks a year and makes enough money to last the rest of that year is a slave

 

One of my regular and favorite girls just retired. She made enough in a few years to pay off her education and fund her masters program with about $100K left in the bank to start her new life after graduating. I hate to see her go but I'm happy for her.

[nofool4u]

One of my regular and favorite girls just retired. She made enough in a few years to pay off her education and fund her masters program with about $100K left in the bank to start her new life after graduating. I hate to see her go but I'm happy for her.

 

Hope she doesn't have any plans to settle down and find a decent man. Cuz if she does plan on that, she better hide her past very well.(not that lies are what a relationship is built on)

[Robert Z]

There is another distinction in all of this that has been missed. What I like, and what some girls like, is a relationship more like a professional mistress than a prostitute and her client. The relationship can be somewhat exclusive. I know one girl who only sees two men.

[Robert Z]

Hope she doesn't have any plans to settle down and find a decent man. Cuz if she does plan on that, she better hide her past very well.(not that lies are what a relationship is built on)

 

No doubt she will hide her past. But I take serious issue with your attitude. Many decent men who love a woman would understand. Your view is very narrow and naive. Are you saying that love isn't more important than a person's previous sex life? Do men just pick who they fall in love with based on a resume? If a man can't get past something like this for the woman he truly loves, then his love doesn't mean much, does it. He wouldn't really be worth the trouble. What might be the next contingency for love, how you vote?

[Robert Z]

Also, how on earth would a prostitute know if her client was married or not? Why would she even bother to ask? I can't imagine there being much socialising going on. Perhaps someone who has been to a prostitute can enlighten me on this? Do you need to fill out a questionnaire before each service?

 

I would say overall my views are very similar to Elswyths on this issue. Logic must prevail here.

 

What logic? Circular logic?

 

My group is referral only. So more than a resume, you have to be recommended by someone already trusted who knows you personally. But I don't know why anyone would go for bar flies or streetwalkers these days with so many escorts available. You pay more, but you don't exactly look for high-volume discounts for something like this!