Don't understand ex

[soret]

Hello everyone,

 

This is my first post on these forums and I felt the need to seek out advice from people other then my family and close friends. I wasn't sure what forum to post this in since my relationship with my ex boyfriend was long distance our entire relationship.

 

I'm 20 and he's 22, about a month ago he broke up with me because he couldn't take the fighting anymore. This was about a week before i was coming to see him with my mother to meet his family (instead my mother and I went to Las Vegas). It was a very confusing time for me and it still is because I don't know if I should hate or love him and I'm constantly on and off with my feelings for him. During the breakup I implemented the "No contact" rule in order to somehow get him back but now I've come to the realization that he wasn't that great of a boyfriend, we fought a lot, he was constantly stubborn, could never be serious when we needed to discuss something, and showed his true colours during the breakup. I realize I needed better in my life so I went out and enjoyed myself and finally got back to a happy state of mind. He texted me once complimenting one of my artworks I posted online and I replied with a thank you and never got anything more then that.

 

I called my ex last week because I was slightly drunk and I thought he had called me. We talked for a good hour and I suggested we catch up some time, I told him that if someone really wants another person in their life they'd make an effort. He agreed and set a date for the weekend which left me anxious and not so sure if it was a good idea and I really prayed that he would forget all about it. Come Sunday and he texts me when he gets home from work and confronts me about something he read on my blog from the night before:

 

"idk what I’m doing anymore, guess I might be talking to my ex tomorrow to “catch up”,which was my idea and he choose Sunday. Would it be a bad idea to have a nice chat and then after delete him off everything because I’m constantly the one putting in more effort? UGH."

 

He never goes on my blog, he was snooping for a reason to see how I really was. After that I apologized for it because I didn't want another pointless fight.

 

So to sum things up for this week, we have texted every day since Sunday and he is almost always the one to start up a conversation, texts back a minute or two after I reply even when I reply 30 min to an hour to his texts. He's flirted with me, tells me I'm a great person, and is glad I'm doing well. The thing is I feel like this is all an act, I do want to be his friend but I'm still in love with him and it hurts me more speaking to him now and I constantly get angry because I feel like I'm getting used and I felt a lot happier not having any contact with him. I'm not ready to speak to him nor be his friend now and i don't think ever.

 

He texted me tonight and I have not replied yet because I'm unsure if I should tell him the truth or just ignore him. Any advice?

 

Edit: He texted me a few min ago "Well I guess I'll leave you alone then, take care"

Edited June 7, 2012 by soret
update

[Philosoraptor]

Sounds like you opened a box that you didn't really want to open. I'd take the peace and wish him well, but not go out and meet him. But ignoring him would be childish as you opened the line of communication.

[soret]

I pretty much told him the truth and said goodbye. It was just way to confusing to be around him and maybe we could be friends but in a year if I even think of him then.

[gearsofwar]

I'm not ready to speak to him nor be his friend now and i don't think ever.

 

I agree with Philosoraptor, I think you should make sure you end on a good note with him, but I wouldn't go ahead and meet up, as you said above you're not ready to speak to him so I'd go with your instinct on this one.

[soret]

Thank you both for your advice. Right now I'm enjoying my life and not worrying about someone who really doesn't care for me. I do have a feeling he will break No Contact just to see how I'am but I don't think I'll reply until I feel like I'm completely over him.