babycrapgreen Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I'll try to make this as brief as possible. My ex and I knew each other for a year before dating for 4 months, and he broke up with me. My ex and I haven't communicated in over a year since he broke up with me and he wanted to remain friends. But, I wanted no communication, I needed time to get over him. So, no social networking, text, nothing. Out of the blue he wished me happy birthday through text this year (he didn't last year) and 3 months later instant messaged me. The main topic of our conversation was how our careers were going and joked for bit. I had to leave but, he said to keep in touch and admired what I was doing. I know he has had a girlfriend since then. But, why break the no communication? Because I've had exes before and can could care less what they're doing or their birthdays.
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Maybe he wants a friendship as you knew one another before you became a couple? Maybe he wants to try again? Next time he messages you maybe you should ask him what his intentions are. 1
Limbo21 Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I would never go back to an old flame. Your here because you had your heart broken 94% chance you will regret it 5% you become friends 1% you get back together again So many more potential mates out there- don't go back = ignore all attempts 2
Author babycrapgreen Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 @Philosoraptor - Yeah, very good idea and thank you for giving the possible reasons why. I don't think I can be that blunt to ask him why. But, maybe... @Limbo21 -I know there are different potential mates out there.. but, I'm more than curious if he still likes me. I
Eddie Edirol Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 @Philosoraptor - Yeah, very good idea and thank you for giving the possible reasons why. I don't think I can be that blunt to ask him why. But, maybe... I You have to be blunt, and be diligent in finding out about his intentions, because if you dont, he can evade the questions. He could be bored with his gf and wants to jump to you to avoid being alone. But be warned, it doesnt mean he likes you again, it just means he's tired of his gf. Be very suspicious of his intentions. 2
EgoJoe Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 I would never go back to an old flame. Your here because you had your heart broken I think that there is a : 94% chance you will regret it 5% you become friends 1% you get back together again So many more potential mates out there- don't go back = ignore all attempts I added the bit in bold.
Author babycrapgreen Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 If I could dislike your post, I would. 1
geegirl Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 Baby, like you, there are exs that still contact me. Two ex-boyfriends and an ex-husband. One even has a girlfriend. I don't look at it as anything more but curiosity. Maybe a combination of boredom and a smidgen of nostalgia. The fact that you were friends for a year before dating, he may have a platonic attachment to you in the sense he could miss the friendship and who you were as a person to him, rather than a once girlfriend. I wouldn't read too much into it unless he shows you much more than casual conversation. Sometimes casual means exactly that and shouldn't be magnified or made to mean more than what it is. I wouldn't ask him. If he wants to get back, then he has to put in the effort. 1
Author babycrapgreen Posted June 8, 2012 Author Posted June 8, 2012 You're right. I guess a part of me just wants him to miss me, a sort of "eff you" for dumping me. I'm being honest. I don't hold any grudges, I know, contradicting to what I just stated. And a part just wants answers, why now? I guess I can be happy he made the effort to message me in the first place, which I would never have done for him. I'll just see where it goes from there. I'm not going to ask him, I have too much pride to show I even care. Here's my conclusions and thoughts from everyone's suggestions which I truly appreciate. 1. He misses talking to me (not the relationship) 2. He's curious to where my life is now, after a year. 3. He's just having trouble with gf and was bored/curious. 4. He wanted to open communication again. One thing I can be sure of is that after a year, I was still on his mind. And, I think I can be happy with that. Thank you everyone.
KathyM Posted June 8, 2012 Posted June 8, 2012 I think, for some people, they like to keep in contact with an ex because it's an ego boost for them to think that someone is still hung up on them, so they stoke the flames a little for ego gratification or validation. They like to think you still have feelings for them, even though they may not want to pursue a relationship with you. 1
listen_to_me_please Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 He doesn't have a steady women, he wants sex from you, figures you'll give it to him. 1
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