She's Just a Small Town Girl...and He's a City Boy...

[Ruby Slippers]

So do you think there's a power dynamic between men and women from small towns? Your observations seem to suggest that women who stay in town have the advantage over men who stay in town...or is it independent of gender and just depends on the individuals...?

I really don't know. I just think that in some places, men have the advantage, and in other places women do.

 

iris lives in a small city where the men seem to have the advantage.

 

I think that big cities tend to have more single women than men, and I'm sure there are small towns and cities where this is the case, too. I feel that I have to bring it the most when I live in a cosmopolitan city - but this isn't just because of the women. It's because everyone is more stylish, more striving, going for it in more respects.

 

I met a friend (my gay boyfriend) for lunch in downtown Chicago today, during glorious weather, and the city was just teeming with beautiful, well-dressed men and women in their summer dresses and suits (including us). He and I have majorly stepped up our style recently, and we were discussing how we both feel that we fit right in now - and when we visit our small hometowns, most people are dressed like country bumpkins and everyone treats us like visiting celebrities.

 

Then we went to H&M for a little shopping afternoon, and got some cheap but stylish summer threads.

Edited June 8, 2012 by Ruby Slippers

[zengirl]

Generally speaking, people are more attractive in cities than small towns or suburbs as even older people in cities skew younger in 'mindset' -- this is less true in some suburban cities, such as the one I live in, in the South, where you just get a mix of people in the city, attractive and unattractive. You also have more singles and more people in general in the city; since people do move/move back to the smaller towns and suburbs after they 'settle down' generally, you get a higher % of marrieds there, plus less people, and that leads to dating pools that are relatively scarce.

 

As to who is more attractive in the small towns, men or women, it likely depends on the town, but MOSTLY it's going to be a factor of age. IME, women tend to age worse in the small towns than they do otherwise, whereas men age similarly almost everywhere, save a few metrosexuals who really take care of themselves forever. Men in small towns dedicated to back-breaking work may stay in higher physical shape through more of middle age, though they're often physically less healthy and it doesn't stop the 'beer gut' phenomenon anyway. I don't often see a bunch of hot men when I travel to small towns, or really many attractive men at all, though I confess the physical hallmarks of working class men in the South are not my personal 'type.' They tend to be a bit large, overall, though sometimes in a muscular way, and they tend to be over-tan, have style I dislike, etc. I grew up in Miami basically (and later in a beachside suburb that was a small town, but everyone worked in the city), but my Dad lived in a hick town not far away in Florida and I remember how awful I thought it was there. My associations with the small town, working class look have a lot of emotional association with that town and my father, so I will say my bias against that look may be personal, but I just don't think they look very good either. Women in smaller towns do seem more likely to be overweight and get frumpy than women elsewhere, but I see plenty of normal, moderately attractive women there and plenty of unattractive women in the city.

 

ETA: I have been to many small towns in the midwest and west I found more charming. Small towns in the city tend to be pretty backwards though, so my opinions are skewed that way.

 

On top of my two other professional licenses/accreditations...again, a dime a dozen in DC, but not so common in small town America...

 

Why are you telling people you just meet in small towns your licenses and accreditations? That seems weird.

 

I've not found people in small town are typically all that impressed with cityfolk or folks who've traveled the world or people I would find impressive for their achievements. Typically, it seems most people in small towns are content to be there and find small town life more impressive, in its own way. However, people in small towns have a lot of respect for military service and soldiers and you may not be receiving 'awe' so much as kindness, hospitality, and warmth that seems like awe to you because you don't know any better. Ladies in small towns tend to be much more complimentary and warm, in general, than ladies in the city, who are more cynical. People in general in the city are more cynical, but I don't find men in small towns warm like women are, and gender roles tend to be more typical in smaller, especially the more backward of them, towns. There are a lot of polite courtesies that would seem similar to awe, I'd imagine.

Edited June 8, 2012 by zengirl

[USMCHokie]

Why are you telling people you just meet in small towns your licenses and accreditations? That seems weird.

 

I generally don't, but it might come up casually in conversation. I don't go beyond talking about the military, and most folks I meet don't know more than that unless they are interested enough to dig deeper.

 

It was more a response to my favorite person in the whole wide world.

[Woggle]

I think people are just attracted to things that are different from them. When I moved here I split up with my first wife shortly after and I couldn't keep women off of me and I think it was because I am completely different from your average Jersey Shore guy. I still had that New York attitude in me and women seemed to love it.

[january2011]

So either from your personal experience or observation, are women from small towns more willing to settle? Should guys look to the "small town girl"...? Any thoughts on this particular dynamic...?

 

In my experience, some small town girls use marriage as a way to improve their lot in life, but others use education - I believe this is common in some ethnic minority families where the parents were not born in the country but the children were and education is valued as a way to enter a traditionally respected profession like law, medicine or engineering.

 

I guess that if a guy wanted a woman with certain qualities that are embodied in the stereotypical small town girl, then perhaps it's worth looking to this group for a mate. However, I think that people can change and just because someone comes from a small town, it doesn't mean that they hold to the mentality all their lives.

 

I'm not sure about the settling question. I suppose it might be valid to say that small town girls who haven't seen the world are more likely to have lower expectations. However, given the prevalence of internet, TV, libraries, print media and other information sources, it seems presumptious to think that someone who hasn't stepped foot outside the boundaries of the place where they were born can't have big dreams.