greenz Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Long story short. I met a girl while on vacation last year. We've been together for 8 crazy months. During that time I've seen a therapist and I almost dropped out of school. I was getting over a series of girl problems before I met her and other baggage. She stuck through it all with me. She hasn't been a saint, but I didn't always make it easy on her. She watched me go through all kinds of torment right in front of her. But I always loved her and told her so and just wanted to get better for the both of us. We went on vacation 3 weeks ago and it didn't go well. I finished and survived my semester and I was considering changing career paths. I need this summer to decide what I really want to do with myself. That's something I haven't thought about in life before like I have now. The vacation was full of ups and downs. We talked about marriage. She said she would marry me. I basically just said that I was afraid of divorce. I said some things during the vacation I shouldn't have said. I felt like I made it through the toughest parts of my instability and that she wasn't appreciating what I had done. I wasn't thinking about the crap I put her through. She knew I was going through a lot before we started dating, but I really flipped out a lot throughout those 8 months. During the vacation breaking up and getting back together went back and forth. She had the last word and said she wanted to break up. The last day we spent together we wanted to make the most of it. We laughed, we cried, we went over memories and we parted ways saying that we love each other. We ended up agreeing to just taking a break for now. Since this was a ldr, I drove back 300 miles home. She called me the next day and told me she didn't want a break and just wanted to be alone and that I had put her through too much. She was stern. I realized that I really truly wanted to be with her and I wasn't going to let this happen. I drove 300 miles back the next day to try to talk to her in person. She sent me back. A few days later we video chatted and she was telling me she needs space. She kept arguing with me over all the things I did. I was telling her that I was done and that I just wanted a chance to prove it to her. That I would be there for her now. She said she didn't really trust me cause I was all over the place throughout this relationship. I told her to stop arguing with me then and just end it. To stop trying to convince me that this is for the best because I'm in love with her. She couldn't do it. We video chatted again for 2 hours a few days ago. I kept asserting that I just want another chance. She kept saying that she doesn't really trust me, if it is meant to be it is meant to be, she doesn't really want a ldr, etc. And she tells me not to think about her and to just take care of my things. I have been taking care of my stuff and figuring my career out, but I can't help and keep her in my mind with every plan I make. I really love her and want to fight for her. I feel that the break up really snapped me out of it and made me realize how important she is to me. I'm tired of "meant to be." We met randomly while on vacation in another country. That was meant to be. Now I believe in fighting and making it work. I've been a crutch to her for a while throughout this thing, but don't want that any more. I'm ready to commit and would propose if I didn't feel like it would come off as desperate at this point. After the video chat we texted all day the next day. I feel that she loves me, but that she's just hurt or pissed and I believe that if she would just give me that second chance it would work out. But she hasn't given me a straight answer. I really believe in this. We will be video chatting again next week. She agreed on my request, but just didn't want it to be too soon. I'm trying to keep a good sense of humor about this and I'm trying to show her how much I mean it and how passionate I am about it, but she isn't giving me straight answers. Do I play it cool? Do I just act like her friend? Does telling her that I love her and want to be with her make me look bad after this sort of ridiculous break up? She's no saint, but she's an amazing catch and I'm just ready to be the man in this relationship right now. I've owned up to my mistakes and want the opportunity to show her that I've learned. I don't want her to fade away and deal with it all on her own. I want to marry her and I want a second chance to prove it to her. Things seem so clear now. So what do I do or not do now?
Author greenz Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 Throughout those 8 months that we've been together there has been a lot of emotional instability, but there has also been some of the greatest highs I've ever experienced and I've been in a 4 year relationship before. No one ever cheated or stole or hurt anyone physically in any way. There has been no verbal abuse either. There's just been too much of venting and airing out of issues into the open and arguing. But there has been a lot of great communication too. We're just total opposites, but I feel in a complementary way. Sometimes I feel like it's insane how much we experienced in just 8 months. I know her mind, her heart, and her soul and I'll take her as perfect or imperfect as she is. I don't want anyone else anymore. Do I have a chance with it being long distance? Is it going to be too hard. I'm prepared to do just about anything, but I feel that I wouldn't be able to move closer to her for about a year.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Long story short. I met a girl while on vacation last year. We've been together for 8 crazy months. During that time I've seen a therapist and I almost dropped out of school. I was getting over a series of girl problems before I met her and other baggage. She stuck through it all with me. She hasn't been a saint, but I didn't always make it easy on her. She watched me go through all kinds of torment right in front of her. But I always loved her and told her so and just wanted to get better for the both of us. We went on vacation 3 weeks ago and it didn't go well. I finished and survived my semester and I was considering changing career paths. I need this summer to decide what I really want to do with myself. That's something I haven't thought about in life before like I have now. The vacation was full of ups and downs. We talked about marriage. She said she would marry me. I basically just said that I was afraid of divorce. I said some things during the vacation I shouldn't have said. I felt like I made it through the toughest parts of my instability and that she wasn't appreciating what I had done. I wasn't thinking about the crap I put her through. She knew I was going through a lot before we started dating, but I really flipped out a lot throughout those 8 months. During the vacation breaking up and getting back together went back and forth. She had the last word and said she wanted to break up. The last day we spent together we wanted to make the most of it. We laughed, we cried, we went over memories and we parted ways saying that we love each other. We ended up agreeing to just taking a break for now. Since this was a ldr, I drove back 300 miles home. She called me the next day and told me she didn't want a break and just wanted to be alone and that I had put her through too much. She was stern. I realized that I really truly wanted to be with her and I wasn't going to let this happen. I drove 300 miles back the next day to try to talk to her in person. She sent me back. A few days later we video chatted and she was telling me she needs space. She kept arguing with me over all the things I did. I was telling her that I was done and that I just wanted a chance to prove it to her. That I would be there for her now. She said she didn't really trust me cause I was all over the place throughout this relationship. I told her to stop arguing with me then and just end it. To stop trying to convince me that this is for the best because I'm in love with her. She couldn't do it. We video chatted again for 2 hours a few days ago. I kept asserting that I just want another chance. She kept saying that she doesn't really trust me, if it is meant to be it is meant to be, she doesn't really want a ldr, etc. And she tells me not to think about her and to just take care of my things. I have been taking care of my stuff and figuring my career out, but I can't help and keep her in my mind with every plan I make. I really love her and want to fight for her. I feel that the break up really snapped me out of it and made me realize how important she is to me. I'm tired of "meant to be." We met randomly while on vacation in another country. That was meant to be. Now I believe in fighting and making it work. I've been a crutch to her for a while throughout this thing, but don't want that any more. I'm ready to commit and would propose if I didn't feel like it would come off as desperate at this point. After the video chat we texted all day the next day. I feel that she loves me, but that she's just hurt or pissed and I believe that if she would just give me that second chance it would work out. But she hasn't given me a straight answer. I really believe in this. We will be video chatting again next week. She agreed on my request, but just didn't want it to be too soon. I'm trying to keep a good sense of humor about this and I'm trying to show her how much I mean it and how passionate I am about it, but she isn't giving me straight answers. Do I play it cool? Do I just act like her friend? Does telling her that I love her and want to be with her make me look bad after this sort of ridiculous break up? She's no saint, but she's an amazing catch and I'm just ready to be the man in this relationship right now. I've owned up to my mistakes and want the opportunity to show her that I've learned. I don't want her to fade away and deal with it all on her own. I want to marry her and I want a second chance to prove it to her. Things seem so clear now. So what do I do or not do now? You need to jump ship! Why are you getting serious about this woman? I think you're making a grave mistake in taking these females earnestly.
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Man it sounds like you were a mess when this relationship started and more of a mess now. Are you even ready for a relationship at all or do you just want someone to fill a void? Work on yourself then try to find someone local.
Tiera D Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 LDR relationships = high breakup rate,even normal relationships are hard to maintain nowdays,i believe u should go NC and think about the path you want to go.. TD
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