Char12 Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 My first love came back into my life after 2 years after i asked if he'd like to catch up. He broke up with me out of nowhere the first time. When we met it was like we'd never been apart. He kissed me and i asked whether this was a one off or he wanted a relationship, knowing he'd be going back to uni for a while soon. He said he wanted to try, i said i needed to think. We continued to meet up, and i talked through issues we might face if we were to try again. He seemed all for it, he said he'd never really got over me and seeing me again made him realise what he was missing. A week later i decided i wanted a relationship too. For the next couple of months we saw each other almost everyday, and had an amazing time. He told me he loved me and after having sex he said he wanted to have kids with me one day. Nothing changed when he went to uni, he even mentioned getting a flat together when we left. Everything was perfect until i'd had a bad day (flunked an exam) and said i wished he was here and it was hard seeing other couples together, and that the long distance was hard. It was like a switch turned in him and it ended up with him breaking up with me, saying i was right, it was too difficult but he still loved me and was hoping we could try again one day. I hadn't wanted to break up with him, i wanted his reassurance more than anything. I left it until the following day, and wrote a message telling him i didn't want to break up and had had a bad day, and that he was going to see me in less than 2 weeks. He replied with excuses i'd never heard of.. saying it wasn't the same.. like "part time girlfriend, part time pen pal", he "was clouded by the sex and chemistry", he wasn't used to having a girlfriend again, and i'd "kept too much locked away" and he'd "only do this with someone he was 100% about.".. which seemed strange after everything he had been saying to me, and hurt because i was 100% committed to him. He also brought up some of the issues we'd talked about before the relationship, which then weren't a problem to him. I haven't replied mainly out of shock. Before that day he'd been making promises of a future and texting me sweet things in the middle of the night. A week later he messaged asking if i was okay and i still haven't said anything to him a week on. I've deleted him from facebook also as he seemed to be having the time of his life and i never existed and it all meant nothing. I'm very confused and hurt about the whole situation to be honest, i'd fallen in love with him all over again and now i feel stupid and left in the aftermath. Can anybody offer any advice? Thank you x
Capris Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Hi Char12, Im SO sorry you are in all this pain and confusion. I can totally relate. Thing is, if he isnt 100% sure of you, you must let him go. I know its hard. Oh how i know. I understand you are young, in your 20's, trust me, you may not believe me now, but there are men out there for you that will be 100% +++ sure for you. As i always say , of course, im just a person on the internet from far far away/ Focus on you and your hapinesss, if anyone wants to be a part of that, you will know. This guys seems to be a douche, even if he's not, he still isnt at the same point with you. So if its meant to be, it will. Go on with your life, focus on you and if he will return 100% sure about you, you may accaept him (or not) Take care!!
Renard99 Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 It may seem harsh but I think the best thing you can do is to continue what you're doing and not contact him and ignore any messages he sends you. If he wants you, he'll find a way to let you know. If he doesn't (as much as I know that will hurt) you will at least be on the road to recovery, having already deleted him from facebook . If he can drop you that quickly without looking back then you deserve much better!
Author Char12 Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 Thanks so much for the words of encouragement, you're right, i'm going to focus on me. It just completely blindsided me but i'm feeling a lot better thinking about it rationally. Thanks again!
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