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NC,GIGS,heartbreak..its all here, just some words of wisdom guys

barese1

By barese1
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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barese1 Established Member

barese1

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Hey loveshackers,

 

I'll try to keep this brief because I've read some long stories on here and you do drift off but here goes....

 

I met a very sweet, intelligent girl who was stunning and absolutely filthy in bed. I was 29 and she was 22. She had just come out of a 6 year relationship (only other person she had had sex with) and met me a couple of months after. From day 1 she told me she never wanted anything serious. We were together for 6 months and by all acounts were boyfriend and girlfriend but she continually told me she didn't want it to be serious but wasn't seeing anyone else and really liked me.

 

One day I realised I had fallen for her and told her how I felt knowing the response. I ended it there and then but as always she said she really wanted to be friends with me. We met once after that but fooled around. I kept telling myself that with time she would come running but then it hit me, she wouldn't. She liked me but hadn't lived her life freely so I cannot blame her.

 

here's where I need encouragement. I have had NC for nearly two weeks after telling her exactly how I felt. I am not doing NC to win her back as I know she is not ready for a relationship. I cannot get her out of my head, I want to call her. I know we shouldn't be friends right? Not when I want more. I miss talking to her and I miss sleeping with her, she was my ideal girl but just too young. Please guys just some words of support/advice/anything.

 

Thanks and much love

blotter Established Member

blotter

Posted
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You're on the right track bro, just stay NC and keep distracting yourself with your interests/hobbies. Two weeks isn't very long and the emotions are still raw, you just need to give it time and your emotions will start to fade. At her age and relationship history this had heartbreak written all over it for you. Friends is a horrible idea if you still have feelings for her and will only drag out your heartbreak. Stay NC, heal, and you will move on to better things.

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barese1 Established Member

barese1

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Thanks blotter. This is the problem I knew from the start it wouldn't go anywhere but I had to see her, she was just too dam fine and a nice person. I just assumed she would get attached to me after a few months but she didn't want that. That's the kicker, I want to spend time with her but I know its a stupid idea as I want more than just friends. I'm in that limbo where I know NC needs to be done to get over her, but I still have this false hope that we'll get back together. I know its over but deep down I can't accept it, how do I?

Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

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All I see is someone who just came out of a long relationship who was looking for a quick fix rather than taking the time to heal within themselves.

 

I'd gamble this started as a rebound for her and she was quite honest by saying she was looking for nothing serious.

 

This doesn't stand out at all as someone who hadn't lived life but rather someone who wanted the pain to go away. You don't jump into a healthy relationship of any sort after just ending another long term relationship

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barese1 Established Member

barese1

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I felt that at the start but not so sure, she knew it was over with her ex for quite some time really and didn't seem hung up on him in the slightest. We were always very honest in what we were feeling and that was never the impression I got.

 

I know I need someone to distract me but can't think of anything worse than approaching girls right now. I just want her out of my head. Unfortunately she was by far the kindest and sexiest girl I've ever got with, objectively speaking not from emotion, so its a real struggle to just put it behind me.

Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

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Posted
I felt that at the start but not so sure, she knew it was over with her ex for quite some time really and didn't seem hung up on him in the slightest. We were always very honest in what we were feeling and that was never the impression I got.

 

I know I need someone to distract me but can't think of anything worse than approaching girls right now. I just want her out of my head. Unfortunately she was by far the kindest and sexiest girl I've ever got with, objectively speaking not from emotion, so its a real struggle to just put it behind me.

Knowing something is over and going through with it are two different things. If she had been so sure it was over back then she wouldn't have continued to stay.

 

You don't need someone, you need to take care of you. Find a new hobby, join a group of some sort, volunteer, etc. Do what ever you need to do to make yourself happy as no one else needs to do that for you.

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barese1 Established Member

barese1

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Thanks dude, all sound advice. Just need to get the thought of holding her outta my head

Philosoraptor Established Member

Philosoraptor

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Thanks dude, all sound advice. Just need to get the thought of holding her outta my head

Be patient with yourself and learn to live in the moment. Rather than focusing on the past or the future just enjoy what is going on right now. If the sun is shining on you try to enjoy the warmth. If you're with friends or family focus on them instead of letting someone else's past actions continue to make you unhappy today.

 

I wish you the best :)

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barese1 Established Member

barese1

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Thanks dude. I will try my hardest just difficult staying in the now! Cheers for the words though

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