hayley1357 Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 So this month marks the 3 month point of my break up. Last night I got a phone call from my ex. We havent spoke on the phone since the break up, exchanged texts and have met up on 3 occasions. So it was midnight, and he calls i answer and he starts saying how he couldnt be bothered to text so thought he would call. Started talking about his day and how he wants to go to the local supermarket to grab a game - asked me to come (looking back on it it was midnight he could have easily waited untill the next day but whatever) so i said okay yeah sure. We went and came back, it was good just like usual just chatting away he paid for the bits i was buying. On the way home he asked me If i wanted to go home or stay at his, and i said its up to you not me. He said okay and we went back to his house. It was great seeing his parents again, just chattin away! We got into be and just layed, watched tv and spoke. He gave me the first sign of any feeling toward me by saying "im not going to lie i really love and miss you". I replied with ive consistantly loved and missed you, ive just let you be. We went to sleep and woke up the next morning and just layed, spoke everything just seemed right. He then dropped me home and we exchanged i love yous when i got out of his car. Now I know from reading many a stories on here that this potentially means nothing and is my ex's way of dealing with any issues he has. I am NOT going to make first contact wwith him after this, a chance of anything needs to come from him as he knows full well how I feel about him. I also am in two minds about if a second chance did arise, im not prepared to have to deal with the crap i have put up with. He needs to realise his mistakes and sort it all out before there is any chance of a full chance.
Shakira1904 Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 You're doing the right thing by not making first contact and as for 2nd chances, it probably depends on how much you are willing to forgive - although forgetting is a completely different ball-game. But it's like someone said in another thread that it should be the party who is looking to re-establish the relationship to lay the groundwork. If you feel that it's worth it then yes, why not give him another chance. You sound like you are pretty much in control so don't let your emotions get the better of you. Good luck with whatever happens.
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Be patient and observant. Make sure all of the issues that plagued the relationship before are not going to still be relevant, or your relationship will be doomed to follow that same path. But in the end just trust yourself and do what you feel will make you the most happy in the long term. Look past the instant gratification and find what will make you happiest in the future.
Author hayley1357 Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 thanks for your response, you a right patience is what is needed. i need to figure out what i want, i know he is deffinately not ready to jump back into a relationship with me but i no longer think i am ready either. There is one thing i need to work on, my expectations of him. Even now, 3 months later i expect him to see me/talk to me. Need to let go in that sense. Ive never been the one to contact him first, but i also havent maintained any NC. To be honest, having some contact has been the best solution for me. Its helping me deal with this and come to terms with it properly whatever the outcome. Although I would like to know where i stand now in his books now, i understand he doesnt know. I do feel seeing him last night was him testing the waters, seeing how he felt. And judging by the fact he has not yet contacted me im assuming he doesnt miss me as much as he makes out. I dont know but I will only find out in time This time thing is a killer!
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