sid3 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I'm not so young I'm 21 in two years I'll be past my prime and edging towards being used up. My cynical outlook is based on experiences, observations, and what many guys have said or done with a miniscule minority saying or doing otherwise. Nowhere did I state it was a universal fact, general truth, or definitive statement. I stated it was my view. Actually, you in fact have four more years until you're considered used up. 1
RedRobin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I highly doubt that it seems more plausible that guys would complain that gals are trying to feminize guys, overreacting, being ball busters, taking away guy's manhood, and not letting men be a men. Doesn't seem most guys listen to what gals say dismissing it as emotional or 'she has a vagina she doesn't know what she wants' so I doubt most would change accordingly based on what gals do. yea, that's just the crap they tell their friends and whine about on LS forums. I imagine that IRL, when they get home or when they are with their SO, they behave differently. Alot of men say that junk just to save face and leave the appearance of some weird view of masculinity. Again... there is this idea that bonding with a woman somehow minimizes their masculinity rather than enhancing it... Sad. Very sad. Frankly, I find it odd that some believe being a 'man' equates to being a selfish jerk. Especially when I see it coming from the very men who complain the most about women. No, there is no gender lock on selfish behavior, that is for sure.
ThaWholigan Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 yea, that's just the crap they tell their friends and whine about on LS forums. I imagine that IRL, when they get home or when they are with their SO, they behave differently. Alot of men say that junk just to save face and leave the appearance of some weird view of masculinity. Again... there is this idea that bonding with a woman somehow minimizes their masculinity rather than enhancing it... Sad. Very sad. Frankly, I find it odd that some believe being a 'man' equates to being a selfish jerk. Especially when I see it coming from the very men who complain the most about women. No, there is no gender lock on selfish behavior, that is for sure. I think one clear sign of masculinity is simply being able to be a man without allowing the insecurities of other men as well as yourself to color that perception of manhood. Bonding with a woman is not emasculating. I think there is a blurring of the lines between being loving and affectionate with a woman, and being a mushy doormat. I think that many men confuse the former with the latter.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 yea, that's just the crap they tell their friends and whine about on LS forums. I imagine that IRL, when they get home or when they are with their SO, they behave differently. Alot of men say that junk just to save face and leave the appearance of some weird view of masculinity. Again... there is this idea that bonding with a woman somehow minimizes their masculinity rather than enhancing it... Sad. Very sad. Frankly, I find it odd that some believe being a 'man' equates to being a selfish jerk. Especially when I see it coming from the very men who complain the most about women. No, there is no gender lock on selfish behavior, that is for sure. My desire for young women over older stems more from the fact that the younger dames are often more fun, don't worry so much about how much money I'm making, having kids right on the spot, or walking down the altar in a spiffy tux. Older women these days have so many issues it's ridiculous and a guy like me would have to work overtime just to get past them and I'm not about to do that when younger girls are more available and willing to give a guy like me a shot. And just so we're clear, I have no hate or animosity for older women. I'm just using my head (the upper one) in who I select to be with and who I feel I'm most compatible with. And young women don't put any pressure on me to have to live up to unrealistic expectations. They just wanna be themselves and live life to the fullest while they can. I feel the same way.
ThaWholigan Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I'm not so young I'm 21 in two years I'll be past my prime and edging towards being used up. 21 is very young. I'm closer to 30 than you are . My cynical outlook is based on experiences, observations, and what many guys have said or done with a miniscule minority saying or doing otherwise. honestly, I don't know how you can meet so many men with the same viewpoint. I don't meet ANYONE with the exact same view point as another. It boggles the mind lol. Nowhere did I state it was a universal fact, general truth, or definitive statement. I stated it was my view. Well, your view is still a troubling one for a young woman to have in my opinion, but whatever keeps you vigilant .
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 xxoo and zengirl pretty much nailed it. She's harping only on her looks. She's not talking about personal attributes that guys dig in a long-term relationship: a sense of humor; good conversationalist; motivated; willing to try new things; being sociable; etc. The ONLY thing she's talking about is guys finding her attractive enough to "compete" with 20-somethings. Complaining about men not checking her out enough is pretty much all I've ever seen in her posts.
NXS Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Her insecurity backs up that she has an insecurity. Quite unsure how her insecurity backs up she's blame-shifting, used her looks to control guys, doesn't know that there's more to relationships than looks, and didn't develop other characteristics to attract relationship Her insecurity backing up your point seems more of you using it to support your assumptions no different for me than a person thinking since a guy stated he's a virgin it backs up their point that he's a creepy pathetic unattractive. I like the way you reframe it as an "insecurity", I wonder if this was a guy we were talking about here if you would be so forgiving in your description. Your generalisations about men suggest otherwise. Btw temper, immaturity, control issues and blame-shifting are all part and parcel of "insecurities". It means that she's concerned about her looks and age it doesn't necessarily mean that working out, dressing nicely, and wearing makeup means she dresses and acts 10-20 years younger than her age. The fact that she mentions how she dresses up in order to please him, and to compete with women 10+ years younger, doesn't necessarily mean she dresses like that but it does say a lot about her thought processes. Again this is a 35 yo woman who's talking about nothing else but her appearance and how young she looks. To answer the OP's thread and comment on other user's post. That post was in response to Woggle who stated in regards to youth judging gals are just as bad and my experiences have been that gals aren't. Well I think it's very telling that you made no mention of the generalisation in the OP but felt you had to respond to Woggle's post, as well as making many generalisations of your own. That supposed hypocrisy relies on the assumption she's blaming him for being attracted to younger hotter gals or considers it a superficial nature when no posts of hers state, suggest, or imply such. Really? What does she suggest right from the opening question: "When do men stop looking for the next best thing?". Is there some kind of deep philosophical undertone I'm missing here?
NXS Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 It does have something to do with her issue of her bf in the OP for me as she feels he is one of those guys on the hunt for something better. Likely she included it because she's insecure about her looks, her bf notices younger gals, her bf communicates with another gal, and she feels he is bored with her. She made a generalization about guys probably because she feels all guys aren't satisfied by what they have and that she'll never be attractive enough for a guy especially as she's aging. The conclusion I drew was that she's insecure and making a generalization about guys based on that. Let's not forget the rest of her comment: "Women like me do all we can to sustain their interests but we wound up in lose-lose situations" Sure... there's no blaming or victimhood here whatsoever.
Billy1987 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I agree with a lot that's been said on here. Guys will be guys unless they genuinly love you. Best way to catch them is to be completely cool and calm, tell him you're okay about everything. I have a really close male friend, his girlfriend goes up the wall about stuff and all it makes him do is lie to her. He'll never stop perving and chatting to attractive women. Fact! At least if he's honest about things then you can decide if you want to stick around or not. Secondly a little taste of their own medicine never hurts, just helps them to see it from a slightly different perspective. So go chat, flirt and enjoy yourself. Show him that other men find you desirable too xx 1
RedRobin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 My desire for young women over older stems more from the fact that the younger dames are often more fun, don't worry so much about how much money I'm making, having kids right on the spot, or walking down the altar in a spiffy tux. Older women these days have so many issues it's ridiculous and a guy like me would have to work overtime just to get past them and I'm not about to do that when younger girls are more available and willing to give a guy like me a shot. And just so we're clear, I have no hate or animosity for older women. I'm just using my head (the upper one) in who I select to be with and who I feel I'm most compatible with. And young women don't put any pressure on me to have to live up to unrealistic expectations. They just wanna be themselves and live life to the fullest while they can. I feel the same way. I could say the same for younger men.... they are more 'fun' (they aren't weighed down by kids), are in better shape, aren't couch potatoes... and also don't have alot of messed up stereotypes about male vs female 'roles'. All things I really appreciate. Some of them actually are looking for sincere relationships too. Most of the men my own age I've come across where I live are seething balls of anger and hatred who assume I'm supposed to engage in NSA sex while they figure out the meaning of life. Yawn. Oh, and put up with their growing gut and bratty kids too. As if they are some prize. This is what they call a 'relationship'. These same men seek out younger women because younger women don't have the experience to know where that anger and disrespect lead to. Alot of men with these preferences don't feel the desire to develop character or integrity of their own, and seek out women who haven't learned how to screen for it yet.
zengirl Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 *Scratches Head*. I do. Can you show some examples of said defense. Not where they have criticized the OP but where they have defended her BF as a good/stable/wonderful relationship partner? And I get that Zengirl. And I'm not saying that advising the OP to highlight different things about herself then just looks isn't good advice. It is, I do think the OP needs a little help. But I don't think wearing cute outfits for him and looking good is indicative that this is "all" she cares about. And I think it's unfair to automatically write her off as "shallow" becaues this was the focus of her thread. People are so much more multi-demensional then what we think we see here only. So I don't get the comments talking about everything she didn't talk about as proof to her "shallowness" just because this thread and this topic focused around looks. I don't think wearing cute outfits is indicative of everything. I do think writing a post that highlights such things as what she brings to the R dynamic and writing a post that made the focus of her thread ABOUT these shallow things shows that she has a shallow view of relationship dynamics. The topic isn't just focused around looks -- or it didn't have to be, if she didn't choose it to be. No one selected the topic but her. Bottom line: Looks don't impact your relationship as much if YOU are not shallow. Straight up, that is just true. The OP clearly cares A LOT about her own looks and even wrote almost a whole paragraph on how well she is aging and insecurities about age --- that IS being shallow. I'm not saying that makes her a bad person in any way (being shallow is actually not bad or harmful in my view, and one can always cultivate depth) but it means she needs to cultivate depth and greater focus if she wants a mate that has such qualities. I see nothing more shallow in looking around for a PYT than there is in wishing you were a PYT. And this is where we disagree. I simply don't see how she is being "shallow" because she is concerned with the role looks are playing in the relationship. Her not mentioning other aspects of the relationship can't be "telling" because then we are judging people for things they didn't even say. Well, yes, what you don't say or don't consider would ALWAYS be the indicator of how shallow you are. Shallow is about the 'lack' of depth after all and the lack is in what we don't explore, not simply what we do. And I don't see how you have so easily catagorized and summed up the OP as simply being shallow. I don't think she's 'simply' shallow, as in that's ALL she is, but I do think she has a shallow mindset that attracts likeminded mates. She can't then get upset when they act accordingly. Well, she could, but it seems strange to me. I actually think this is a misconception that anytime looks are focused on, that it has to be equated to being "shallow". I think any time looks are paramount, it is shallow. That's not the same as any time aesthetics are discussed. But any time you put a high emphasis on looks -- yours or others -- that comes from a shallow place. Whenever there is no emphasis on anything more important, as in the post leaves out all of that, then it is shallow. Shallow is, as I said, mostly about what you leave out. Not everybody is that bleak . For someone so young, you have quite a cynical outlook lol. No doubt due to experiences.... Not every man places so much value on the youth of a woman, it's not a universal fact by any means. Any man who uses such as an excuse is lying. This is what my experiences and observations would bare out. I'm not so young I'm 21 in two years I'll be past my prime and edging towards being used up. I hope that is a joke. My life is far better in my mid-20s than it was in my early 20s, and I hardly feel anywhere near 'used up.' I was lucky to meet my husband young, but I felt no pressure and many of my friends who are married got married and oftentimes met their husbands in their 30s. Most people I know didn't marry even as young as I did, at 27! The allure of youth does exist, but it is much more marginal IME than many of the posts here seem to assume. As xxoo says above, if you lose that desire to be the prettiest, the thinnest, the youngest, etc . . . you really ARE liberated. And a lot of good things happen then.
mesmerized Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Secondly a little taste of their own medicine never hurts, just helps them to see it from a slightly different perspective. So go chat, flirt and enjoy yourself. Show him that other men find you desirable too xx I highly suggest this as well if you still want to stay with this man.
RedRobin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I agree with a lot that's been said on here. Guys will be guys unless they genuinly love you. Best way to catch them is to be completely cool and calm, tell him you're okay about everything. I have a really close male friend, his girlfriend goes up the wall about stuff and all it makes him do is lie to her. He'll never stop perving and chatting to attractive women. Fact! At least if he's honest about things then you can decide if you want to stick around or not. Secondly a little taste of their own medicine never hurts, just helps them to see it from a slightly different perspective. So go chat, flirt and enjoy yourself. Show him that other men find you desirable too xx So, your guy friend thinks it is ok to be a liar. Nice. Real men have integrity and values that don't depend on other people's behavior. They have it all the time, regardless. Weak people's values are subjective, and change based on whatever they think will get them whatever they want. If you call that being a 'man', then so be it. it's not MY definition of manhood... 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 Real men have integrity and values that don't depend on other people's behavior. They have it all the time, regardless. Weak people's values are subjective, and change based on whatever they think will get them whatever they want. If you call that being a 'man', then so be it. The OP's a female whose integrity and value depends on how many men notice her. So let's change that quote, shall we? Revised quote: Real women have integrity and values that don't depend on other people's behavior. They have it all the time, regardless. Weak people's values are subjective, and change based on whatever they think will get them whatever they want. If you call that being a 'woman', then so be it. Febreze, some people in this thread have been harsh in their criticism of you. Some people have been supportive. But virtually everyone here has come to an agreement: ditch your boyfriend and stop focusing on trying to compete with women below 30. From all your posts you've been talking about how many men find you physically attractive. I've yet to see you post about using your personality to attract men: being sociable; having a sense of humor; being motivated; willing to try new things; etc. So people here come to the conclusion your main (or only) attribute in attracting men is physical. Hence, people see you as shallow and insecure. 1
RedRobin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 no, I don't believe all of the advice is the same. Yes, they have advised her to break up with her BF, but not for the reasons you suggest. It is not because she has no hope in hell of 'competing' with women under 30... as you seem to suggest. Correct me if I'm wrong. It is because her BF has made it very clear that her age is an issue with him, is using it to manipulate her (which, she has the power to change, BTW... no victim status here!). Not only that, he's keeping her in the queue as his good-for-now girl while he is actively seeking out other women. Again, this has nothing to do with her age or even her looks. It is all about his behavior and the kind of crap she seems willing to tolerate. TBH, some women do wrap themselves around the axle like this because they believe it is something they can do something about.... not realizing that if the guy is a jerk, he'll always be a jerk. Nothing the woman can do about THAT at all. I agree with you on one thing... and it applies to both the OP and a handful of the male posters here... working on one's personality and focus on core values is never a losing proposition. Even if you don't have a partner, you can have close friends and people who sincerely care for you... all of which increase the likelihood of finding someone who really will love you for you and won't knowingly hurt you... like her BF seems to enjoy doing.
Author Febreze Posted June 9, 2012 Author Posted June 9, 2012 I really feel I'm being attacked in here and its wrong because I really do care about my boyfriend. We have a great connection other than this age issue thats mostly my hang-up ok? To answer other people's posts in here I do have other things to offer this relationship like love and respect. I enjoy watching sports. Am a big Mets and Yankees fan and a Rangers fan too ok? I also like bowling and tennis and movies like horror and comedies. We do all of these things together with loads of fun. I also am a great cook. I'm a half Irish/Italian girl so its apart of my culture ok but I identify with Italian more because we're most closest to each other ok? I know I have some insecurities. Most women do its normal, jeez. I dont mean to come off like a brat but I'm really into my boyfriend and I dont wanna lose him. I'm sure he feels the same way but maybe he still needs to be a typical guy and still look at other women. Whatever. As long as he doesn't cheat on me or throw it in my face I can deal with it 1
sid3 Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I really feel I'm being attacked in here and its wrong because I really do care about my boyfriend. We have a great connection other than this age issue thats mostly my hang-up ok? To answer other people's posts in here I do have other things to offer this relationship like love and respect. I enjoy watching sports. Am a big Mets and Yankees fan and a Rangers fan too ok? I also like bowling and tennis and movies like horror and comedies. We do all of these things together with loads of fun. I also am a great cook. I'm a half Irish/Italian girl so its apart of my culture ok but I identify with Italian more because we're most closest to each other ok? I know I have some insecurities. Most women do its normal, jeez. I dont mean to come off like a brat but I'm really into my boyfriend and I dont wanna lose him. I'm sure he feels the same way but maybe he still needs to be a typical guy and still look at other women. Whatever. As long as he doesn't cheat on me or throw it in my face I can deal with it I agree, seems you have been attacked a few times in here. Personally, I don't think anyone has the right to dictate what you should or shouldn't do because of their beliefs. Life is short, I'd encourage you to spend it being happy as much as possible. Apply common sense as much as you can, screw what anyone else thinks. You only have to answer to yourself at the end of the day.
RedRobin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 OP, I'm sorry that you believe that the guy you described is the best you can do and that you have to tolerate this. Regarding the posts though... If you don't like the comments, then don't post here looking for advice. There is this old saying... The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. If you enjoy wrapping yourself around the axle to 'keep' a guy like this, then be my guest. Everyone needs a hobby. He seems like a jerk to me, but I guess that is how you described him. There are lots of men who don't act like your BF. What he is doing is not being a typical 'guy'. I guess you'll have to decide what the definition of 'cheating' is though... and how long you care to waste your time with a guy who is obviously out looking for another woman on your time. hey, it's your life. *shrug*
Shaun-Dro Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I could say the same for younger men.... they are more 'fun' (they aren't weighed down by kids), are in better shape, aren't couch potatoes... and also don't have alot of messed up stereotypes about male vs female 'roles'. All things I really appreciate. Some of them actually are looking for sincere relationships too. Most of the men my own age I've come across where I live are seething balls of anger and hatred who assume I'm supposed to engage in NSA sex while they figure out the meaning of life. Yawn. Oh, and put up with their growing gut and bratty kids too. As if they are some prize. This is what they call a 'relationship'. These same men seek out younger women because younger women don't have the experience to know where that anger and disrespect lead to. Alot of men with these preferences don't feel the desire to develop character or integrity of their own, and seek out women who haven't learned how to screen for it yet. I don't know why you referenced this response to me, because I don't fit this profile whatsoever . And besides I treat my babe with respect and kindness and vice-versa. The big difference between her and women like yourself is that she doesn't harbor this obvious animosity that you have for men in general. My girlfriend allowed me to approach her without acting suspect. She then gave me her number without making excuses like many others do. She was willing to see how things went before we even got physical. This is what separates her from women like you, Robin. My girlfriend appreciated how I spoke to her and valued my intelligence and didn't try to assume it was an act, like women 28-33 tend to want to believe. And the sad thing is that they're often always wrong.
RedRobin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 (edited) I don't know why you referenced this response to me, because I don't fit this profile whatsoever . And besides I treat my babe with respect and kindness and vice-versa. The big difference between her and women like yourself is that she doesn't harbor this obvious animosity that you have for men in general. My girlfriend allowed me to approach her without acting suspect. She then gave me her number without making excuses like many others do. She was willing to see how things went before we even got physical. This is what separates her from women like you, Robin. My girlfriend appreciated how I spoke to her and valued my intelligence and didn't try to assume it was an act, like women 28-33 tend to want to believe. And the sad thing is that they're often always wrong. I don't have animosity for men in general. I have animosity for people who are disrespectful or dishonest and use their gender as a crutch or as an excuse for bad behavior. You want to call it being a 'man'. I don't. The men in my life don't act like you do... Just the opposite, actually. Almost all of them are with women their own age too. They wouldn't be with a much younger woman because they actually want a partner... not a plaything. Not sure what you mean by her wanting to see how things went before you got physical. TBH, most women I know prefer that. It is the men who push for things to get physical without giving the woman a chance to get to know him. I recently kicked a guy to the curb because he couldn't get past the first phone call without asking me what I like to sleep in and commenting on how my butt might look like in a thong. If I were 18, I imagine I might think that was 'cute'. But I'm not 18, and that is not 'cute'. It's obnoxious and disrespectful... and shows me he really doesn't care about getting to know me. 18 year olds don't have much to base their self-respect on, so I imagine they are very easily impressed. Good for you. You act like that is some big feather in your cap, but I see it the other way. It's too much effort to get a real woman, so you have to swim with the guppies. Alrighty then... ... FYI... a man approached me this weekend while I was gasing up my motorcycle on the way to show. (he also was gassing his up at the pump next to me). We had a nice chat... (I allowed him to approach me without being suspect). I gave him my number. I expect we'll go riding sometime soon. We'll see... Edited June 9, 2012 by RedRobin
Shaun-Dro Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 I don't have animosity for men in general. I have animosity for people who are disrespectful or dishonest and use their gender as a crutch or as an excuse for bad behavior. You want to call it being a 'man'. I don't. The men in my life don't act like you do... Just the opposite, actually. Almost all of them are with women their own age too. They wouldn't be with a much younger woman because they actually want a partner... not a plaything. Not sure what you mean by her wanting to see how things went before you got physical. TBH, most women I know prefer that. It is the men who push for things to get physical without giving the woman a chance to get to know him. I recently kicked a guy to the curb because he couldn't get past the first phone call without asking me what I like to sleep in and commenting on how my butt might look like in a thong. If I were 18, I imagine I might think that was 'cute'. But I'm not 18, and that is not 'cute'. It's obnoxious and disrespectful... and shows me he really doesn't care about getting to know me. 18 year olds don't have much to base their self-respect on, so I imagine they are very easily impressed. Good for you. You act like that is some big feather in your cap, but I see it the other way. It's too much effort to get a real woman, so you have to swim with the guppies. Alrighty then... ... FYI... a man approached me this weekend while I was gasing up my motorcycle on the way to show. (he also was gassing his up at the pump next to me). We had a nice chat... (I allowed him to approach me without being suspect). I gave him my number. I expect we'll go riding sometime soon. We'll see... Well hooray for you that you finally stopped putting up walls for one day. Yea, we'll see how things go, won't we?
ascendotum Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 So, your guy friend thinks it is ok to be a liar. Nice. Real men have integrity and values that don't depend on other people's behavior. They have it all the time, regardless. Weak people's values are subjective, and change based on whatever they think will get them whatever they want. If you call that being a 'man', then so be it. it's not MY definition of manhood... You could also call that being shrewd, resourseful, diplomatic. I have mates, like Billy's, who do the 'boys will be boys' stuff, but they faithful & devoted to their wive/gf. A lot of guys have the philosphy with their partners...'tell em what they want to hear'. Why upset them, why get into a ****fight over something that can be avoided and she does not know about. The charm, wild ways, good looks & flirtatious behaviour is very much the essence of what attracted their girl to them, but women want to neuter that once they have the guy in the relationship. For many men, changing to keep the gf happy, is also not the definition of manhood.
RedRobin Posted June 9, 2012 Posted June 9, 2012 You could also call that being shrewd, resourseful, diplomatic. I have mates, like Billy's, who do the 'boys will be boys' stuff, but they faithful & devoted to their wive/gf. A lot of guys have the philosphy with their partners...'tell em what they want to hear'. Why upset them, why get into a ****fight over something that can be avoided and she does not know about. The charm, wild ways, good looks & flirtatious behaviour is very much the essence of what attracted their girl to them, but women want to neuter that once they have the guy in the relationship. For many men, changing to keep the gf happy, is also not the definition of manhood. Not sure what you mean by 'neuter'. I get it that some men think that the essence of 'manhood' is to be an a**hole... a diplomatic, lying, cut-it-this-close-to-the-line-without-actually-crossing-over-to-sticking-your-d*ck-in-another woman.... and calling that 'faithful' guy. I really do. I also get it that some women like... or actually 'love' the drama that comes with hanging out with those kind of 'men'. Whatever. That kind of excitement I don't need. Underneath all that fluff, they usually aren't all that interesting anyway. Alot of show and no go in the long run.
RedRobin Posted June 10, 2012 Posted June 10, 2012 (edited) Well hooray for you that you finally stopped putting up walls for one day. Yea, we'll see how things go, won't we? not sure what walls you are talking about. it is the men I meet who have the walls and who are impatient. I'm the one who agrees to see them and only them... and sincerely get to know them. I'm not the one multi-dating and sleeping around hedging my bets. I'm not the one making up stories and using my gender as an excuse for anything. I always offer to pay my share. I do my best to give them the benefit of the doubt. But I do know when I'm being lied to. I'll look the other way for a little while in the very early stages, but I don't forget. I'll never mention it. I just observe. Most men really are horrible liars... they think they are very clever, but they aren't at all. Problem is, too many men want the perks of a 'relationship' (as in sex) without any of the effort to prove their character. These men are not worth my time. They want to play the field... then expect the women they value to look the other way. Sorry, if that is what you mean by 'walls', then correct. They can't climb it, they aren't worthy. Edited June 10, 2012 by RedRobin
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