Febreze Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 I'm getting really worried now because I caught my boyfriend texting some girl and its got my panties in a knot as it has the right to be. He tried to deny it by telling me she's just some girl he met from the chat and she means nothing to him but why is he even in there? Most of the people there are fake liars! I just dont get what his problem is We've been dating for more than several months so things are still new to us. I've been busting my butt to stay in shape for him. Wearing nice little outfits that he likes so it shows my figure and wearing makeup whenever we're out so I dont dissapoint him. I dont know what else to do here because I really care about him and I know he feels the same but its hard when we pass these younger looking women and I can tell he's interested. Dont ask me how I know. I just do. He compliments me on how beautiful I am and how I look good for my age but I hate the fact of him even saying that kind of comment about age I keep feeling that he's starting to get bored of me. Most men seem to be this way after they get what they want then wanna go on the hunt for something better. Women like me do all we can to sustain their interests but we wound up in lose-lose situations
Feelsgoodman Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Most men seem to be this way after they get what they want then wanna go on the hunt for something better. Women like me do all we can to sustain their interests but we wound up in lose-lose situations Most women are like that too. In fact, 75% of all divorces are initiated by women. So let's take it easy on the sexist stereotypes, okay? 3
irin Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 sorry to ask but how old are you both,(you dont have to answer) when you said chat i thought you must be in your teens. 1
threebyfate Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Are you older than your b/f? If not, your response should be "for an old guy, you're not so bad yourself', delivered in a saucy tone. As far as texting some chick, did he agree to stop texting with her?
rubberduck Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Maybe you're trying too hard? Just be yourself! I'd hope that after dating for several months you could relax a little bit maybe that's putting him off a bit! x
carhill Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 sorry to ask but how old are you both,(you dont have to answer) when you said chat i thought you must be in your teens. In a previous thread, the OP wrote: "When I was in my 20s guys my age and older couldn't wait to see me and call me every other day with new plans, etc. Of course I knew that it was my looks that attracted them. I'm blonde, green eyes, 5'4 and fit But things have started shifting since I turned 30 especially if a guy finds out about that I'm 35 now btw but am still looking pretty good I think, no kids, and never married with a career as rehab nurse. I'm trying to understand what's the problem here because these guys never say anything other than take me out for a few dates, make out, try to sleep with me, but when I tell them about wanting to settle down, have a family soon, they take off." OP, some men never stop looking for the BBD. Others never have looked for it, rather what is compatible and healthy for them. Others changed from one to the other. I can tell you, as the latter, the dark side has tempted me on more than one occasion. I succumbed to it once and it cost me a marriage. Bad choice.
Shaun-Dro Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 I'm getting really worried now because I caught my boyfriend texting some girl and its got my panties in a knot as it has the right to be. He tried to deny it by telling me she's just some girl he met from the chat and she means nothing to him but why is he even in there? Most of the people there are fake liars! I just dont get what his problem is We've been dating for more than several months so things are still new to us. I've been busting my butt to stay in shape for him. Wearing nice little outfits that he likes so it shows my figure and wearing makeup whenever we're out so I dont dissapoint him. I dont know what else to do here because I really care about him and I know he feels the same but its hard when we pass these younger looking women and I can tell he's interested. Dont ask me how I know. I just do. He compliments me on how beautiful I am and how I look good for my age but I hate the fact of him even saying that kind of comment about age I keep feeling that he's starting to get bored of me. Most men seem to be this way after they get what they want then wanna go on the hunt for something better. Women like me do all we can to sustain their interests but we wound up in lose-lose situations This is going to bother you but it's the god-honest truth: men will always lust for a younger, beautiful woman over an older one. I know it hurts to hear that but there's nothing you really can do unless you meet a man that'll love you for you and only you. Only then will you have the upper hand over the younger dames. I say keep your boyfriend you're with until you catch him actually cheating because other than that it's just insecurities at work. And the more you become insecure of yourself, the better the chances he'll stray. 1
irin Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 okay i read some of your other posts is this the same guy that Prayed to god, hoping your body wont change?
Author Febreze Posted June 6, 2012 Author Posted June 6, 2012 Are you older than your b/f? If not, your response should be "for an old guy, you're not so bad yourself', delivered in a saucy tone. As far as texting some chick, did he agree to stop texting with her? @Irin I'm 35 right now and he's 32 so its just 3 years apart but the women he's looking at are 25 and under so yes I'm upset about this @threebyfate he doesn't have her number anymore I dont think because I went and checked his phone. I know I shouldn't be doing that stuff, but I cant help it. Guys make us women go batty lol. @Shaun-dro I know men prefer younger women but I dont look my age at all ok? I've been told this by numerous people including him so I believe it.
veggirl Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 How long have you been together? It sounds like only a few months? If after a few months you are already checking his phone and feeling insecure because of things he is saying, you should just leave him. Don't stay with someone who makes you "batty", that's now how a good relationship will make you feel.
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Doesn't sound like this guy is ready to settle down... On top of It you're coming off way insecure and trying too hard, there's no reason for that...If we have the emotions they will be there, If not they will not be...there's no amount of primping and promping (or whatever it's called) that you can do to keep a man from looking at other women or younger women. The majority of men will lie when they are doing something bad...what don't you get about that? The majority of men will compliment you and tell you how beautiful you are to appease you regardless...what don't you get about that? You need to judge things from an emotional level not superficial...It seems like you're acting like a short-term kind of girl, limited depth, glaring insecurity and clingy..even If you're trying not to act clingy, most women who do that It's really obvious otherwise because they can't help themselves...they think not doing one or two thing changes the way they look to a man, a lot of men are stupid, but they aren't blind. Also no guy wants to be the guy at the end of your "fooling around" phase or where you weren't necessarily worried about a serious relationship until now phase...that's not attractive or appealing to us, so you're coming off strong and pushing men away. You just need to learn to read between the lines and see how much a man is willing to invest in getting to know you, and really how much he shows he is interested in you. Women freak out and wreak of commitment right off the bat in their 30s or late 20's...It's weird and zombie like to men to the point it doesn't even feel like you're looking for anything genuine or real...just someone to call a husband to support your dream life and for man that's typically a big "no thanks", you look desperate. 2
KathyM Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I think men stop looking for someone else when they are truly in love with someone and don't want to lose them. Sounds to me like your bf is just in it until something better comes along, or he's not the type to settle down with one woman for a long period of time, so he's ready to jump ship. Sorry, but if your guy is spending his time talking to other single women in chat rooms and texting them, he's looking for other possibilities. 2
Shaun-Dro Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I think men stop looking for someone else when they are truly in love with someone and don't want to lose them. Sounds to me like your bf is just in it until something better comes along, or he's not the type to settle down with one woman for a long period of time, so he's ready to jump ship. Sorry, but if your guy is spending his time talking to other single women in chat rooms and texting them, he's looking for other possibilities. That's right. This guy might be wanting something better but since he has not yet cheated on you don't go tossing him to the curb just yet and you shouldn't be going through his phone either because it reeks insecurity on the biggest level and you'll be the one tossed. 1
threebyfate Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 he doesn't have her number anymore I dont think because I went and checked his phone. I know I shouldn't be doing that stuff, but I cant help it. Guys make us women go batty lol.Right here is where you say to yourself, hold it, what am I doing? He's already shown me what he's all about, a GIGs guy, so why waste time playing warden when I could be dating someone in a trusting relationship, who deserves my trust with his consistent loving actions? 2
FitChick Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Have a lighthearted conversation with intent: talk about your disastrous dates with other people years ago and make it funny, then ask him about his. Make it a point to find out if the women were younger, then say you used to be as shallow, selfish, etc. at their age but grew out of it. When he starts thinking about the hell he had to go through before he found you, he might think twice about dropping you. Have this discussion in an area where there are a lot of good looking men for you to stare at. The beach or a pool? Then say, "Maybe we should both date other people." His alternatives won't seem quite so appealing. Something similar worked for a friend of mine years ago when she was around your age and her guy was two years younger. She found out he was windsurfing with another woman and acting a bit distant and secretive. She didn't let on that she knew. When she dropped the bomb about dating others, he burst into tears and begged her not to. This won't necessarily happen to you but you never know. This guy had only had one girlfriend previous to her and she was a beautiful woman, and I imagine he thought he could do better since he was able to get her.
mesmerized Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Never. Or only when you look like Angelina Julie...
Woggle Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Do people here seriously think women are any better? This is a two way street. 2
SJC2008 Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 There are great men out there as there are great women. You just gotta find one. Filter these a holes out. A good way is by dumping a man who says I hope your body doesn't change. Strong attraction overrides red flags and I've been guilty of it myself, luckily she did the favor of flaking on me. She didn't thank me for our 1st or second date meals or anything. She got "moody" on date 2 and bitchy on date 3. I should of not bothered after date 3 but there was "something about her" and I was crushed when it fell apart. Looking back, if she was getting attitude on date 3 when people still have their best foot forward she very well may be a b on wheels. 2
ohmygoshistalk Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 in my life one of the most glaring pains was being w/ someone who you feel would leave you..security issues u know? its kind of like having a jewelry store without a doorknob. its kind of painful, a thorn on your side. if a man makes u feel like this then i suggest you really really need to find someone else, cause he probably wont change. op, to be honest, with your job and all, plus a good figure, i promise theres a lotttttt of other guys out there who would be fighting all over for you. ones who arent shallow and care about "dating younger women" (lol). ive been young before and still am, i am appalled at the things that i did when i was younger (17-22). and so what if theyre young, or so what if we're old? everyone GETS OLD. like my friend told me beauty fades, annoying is forever. just how far can beauty or youth go to compensate for a rotten personality? lol seriously. i think the ones who like really young women have issues. since most young people are impressionable it just goes to show these people who prefer young ones dont have it in them to deal w/ people their own age. aka all talk no substance. 2
Sanman Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 OP, the answer to your question is simple: when he runs out of better options. Your bf is looking for better options for the same reason you did not settle in your 20's for the first guy that came along and why you are dating a 32 year old instead of a 42 year old now. I've commented on some of your previous threads and those comments got mixed into the omnipresent gender wars here. You may look good for 35, but what happens when he meets someone that looks good for 25? What else are you offering him that makes him want to not be with other women. If it is simply physical attraction and sex, you are fighting a losing battle. A man his age can easily attract women 10 years younger than you and do so for at least another 3 years if he looks good. I remember you being jealous of the 28 year old doctor that passed you by for the 19 year old nursing student. Most of us are in it get the best 'deal' for ourselves, but that is a zero sum game. There will always be losers when the game is played that way. Get rid of this guy and work on what you look for in a partner or be doomed to repeat this cycle until the male callers stop coming. 2
thatone Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 i disagree that you should just brush off him talking to other women he's met. it's a matter of time until he cheats. that said, i agree with the point above about trying to pressure men for a response about marriage and kids. honestly, men have no more motivation to buy into that lifestyle at 35 than you did at 25. just as you were more desirable to a wider range of men in your 20s, those men are more desirable to a wider range of women in their mid 30s. that's how it works. that's not to say you won't find one who wants to get married and have kids, there are some out there, but you'll have to look harder to find one. but either way a sure fire way to scare men off is to put demands on them about marriage and kids as if it's some sort of litmus test. think about it, what's their response to such questions? lie, leave, or say yes. two of those three are not what you want to hear. so don't bring up such things early in relationships or dating phases, the odds are not in your favor. 1
Leigh 87 Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 A guy will stop looking for a better option, when he is in love. When a girl is so amazing to be around, and makes him utterly happy; when the girl shows far more depth and attributes than just her outward appearance. All/ most men will LOOK at more attractive women. Not many women eat right, work out most days, and have great genes. Most women are not particularly stunning or good looking. It is natural for men to enjoy looking at, and get horny over beautiful girls. Porn and glalncing at these women is normal and natural, to an extent. Wanting to trade up to a better looking partner, would mean that the guy was not totaly into you to begin with. A guy truly crazy about an average looking women, woud not leave her for a super model. Love is too strong to toss away, and it makes you care so much about staying with your loved one. 2
Snowman219 Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Do people here seriously think women are any better? This is a two way street. Oh dude, this sh** will go on, the legacy of lies will never stop. I blame the parents...REBEL FO LIFE YO!
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