amythan Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Hi there ! I started dating this guy a month and a half ago. We sleep together and we are exclusive. He was the one contacting me and I liked him so I decided to give this a try. A real one, the first time after my break up (more than one year ago). He is leaving at the end of the year, we discussed about this last week and he said that if I am in, he is in. He wants to try and it is going to be very hard but he likes me. I said yes. But I am scared and I find difficult to do not compare him with my ex. My ex-bf and I we were madly in love from day one (we started living together this same day and lasted for nine years) and this guy is "just" interested. Also he is not a natural flirt and I find difficult to connect with this type of characters - I have only dated spanish, french or italian guys in the past. This guy textes me almost every day but just friendly texts .. and i miss the excitement of a starting relationship. The last two weeks (and maybe this saturday again) we are hanging out with some friends or his flatmates (i am living alone) and for me this is a buddy behaviour, not dating. I need intimacy to develop a relationship, talk and get to know each other ... I do not want to speak up because i do not want to nag him or appear as demanding and also, I do not want anyone to be with me if he does not feel like doing it. Am I all wrong ? I do not know what to do .. i want to give him a real chance but this is a bit boring and not very romantic either .. or is it normal ?? Thanks for your comments !
FitChick Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 Is he British? That might explain the difference in dating styles from the Europeans you are used to. I personally prefer unpretentious British men to the Europeans who seem insincere and smarmy -- what you call romantic.
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 What stands out to me is the fact that you are constantly making comparisons. Until you can give someone new a clean slate you probably shouldn't be dating at all. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I was with you, I used to prefer super passionate men like that, that were in love right away. After my fair share of dissapointments, I realized that those men are generally insincere and have no staying power. They are like that with nearly every girl they meet. I would rather date a more reserved guy now, while still showing interest. 1
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