witchychick Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 I am going through a very hard time right now, and this guy already hurt me before. I posted about him here previously before all this. We started to see each other in March, and I have strong feelings for him unfortunately. I last saw him a week ago, and I guess he wanted to try to get in my pants again, and we almost had sex. When we were together that nite, he told me he felt like he had everything he needed when we were together, I asked if he thought about being with me{I meant it in a sexual sense,though} and he asked if I would think he was weird, and he said he thought about living with me. He told me he missed me,too and that he was sorry for playing me. So he played me at some point if not the whole time. Now I wish I had asked him to elaborate more on that. I wondered if he was a player before,though. Anyway, I see these things he said as lies because a few days later he ended everything with me. He texted me back on Friday saying he moved with his best friend who is female because he said her roommate moved out and she needed the help. The thing is, he posted pics of himself and alcohol he was going to drink this past weekend on facebook, and they were taken where he was living a week ago, so that made me wonder if he just said he moved to try to keep me away from his house. He didnt tell me he was moving and I thought it was weird. He told me he didn't tell me because he didn't think he had to, and called me "Mom" and laughed. He deleted me from facebook{he had just unblocked and added me when I was last with him a few nights before so it was obviously for show I guess or because I brought it up and he wanted some}, so I got really upset of course. He stopped replying to me til he dropped off liquor of mine I left at his house with a note ending things. This was Saturday nite. I ripped the note up and threw it away and i dont remember everything it said. But I know it said he moved to get a fresh start and he wants to leave everything he once had behind. He also said we need to go our own ways. He had emailed me,too to let me know he left the liquor. So I replied and was like, wow you don't even want to see me anymore at all now and I asked him why. He said just let me go,please. I have my reasons. Some things are better left unsaid. He said please no more calls, messages, voicemails, etc and if for some reason he needs to hear from me, he knows how to get a hold of me. he said that's the way it should be anyways,right? Effortless, meaning he should want this also, and at the moment he just wants to start his life fresh. He said he's not bipolar{because I wondered before if he could be} and he's not crazy,he's just complicated. In a later email he said every Woman he has slept with who he knows he's not going to be in a relationship with has to exit his life. I asked him why he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. If it was my looks, my personality, what? And he said I look 'fine'{which really bothers me} and I am a great person just not the person for him. Does him saying I look fine and am a great person mean he thinks I am just ok looking? He wanted me for something whether it was a sick challenge, just sex or what when I only wanted to be his friend. This is just awful,too. Wanting someone a lot who doesnt want to talk to you or see you anymore. I'm not going to try to get him 'back', so I don't need anyone telling me things like move on, and he doesnt want me. I know he doesnt want me now. I just mainly want opinions on him saying I look fine and I do wonder if I may ever hear from him again because I have feelings for him.
Nitachi Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 You will hear from him whenever he needs a booty call. Seriously you should do yourself a favor and find someone that truly shows you affection and love, someone that would sit at the end of the bed during the cold winter nights and rub your feet warm...not because he has to, but because he wants to. As for looks...well I dated woman on both sides of the spectrum and found that the plain jane girls makes much better partners than those models we tend to compare ourselves to.
d'Arthez Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Since he probably messed up with every woman he has slept with and he has an eye on a new conquest (who may be a bit on the jealous side), he may have his reason to keep all his notches out of his life. Classy? No. But that is just the kind of guy he is. At best you may be reduced to the occasional booty call. At worst he will f*ck your mind completely. Better to move on, and forget about this guy. 3
witchychick Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 well,I mainly wanted to know if him saying I look fine and am a great person means he thinks I am ok looking. I'm not perfect but I'm not a plain jane. I kind of look better than he does actually,too.
witchychick Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 and he already f***ed with my head-like I said,he played me. And I dont know if he has his eye on a new conquest. He said hi to a girl on facebook who lives in the Ukraine but yeah that is kind of far away because we are in the U.S. He told me about this girl he met at college,too who he said is very attractive but claimed he ddint do anything with her.
d'Arthez Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 What does it matter what this guy thinks of you? He is in the past, and he should remain in the past. What is important what the next guy thinks of you. If you are good looking it is a bonus. But looks pale in comparison to character.
geegirl Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Witchy, I know you want views from men but my ex sounds like yours. It's not about how you look or your personality but more so his mental and emotional make. They are wired a certain way. After my break-up, my ex broke down and gave me the full story about who he truly was. He cannot be committed to any woman. Granted I was his longest and said I was the most beautiful he's ever had, inside and out, and still sometimes randomly texts me to this day eventhough we have both moved on, it was not enough for him to break from his ways. He said he is conditioned to be that way and always will be because sex without committment is and always will be his priority. Hence, the uncountable women in his life. In a year, I have seen him with 4 other women, and while I don't mean to be conceited, they were average in looks, in all honesty. So, you can be the most beautiful woman in the world, have the biggest and kindest heart, have a fabulous personality or the complete opposite, it will never be about you but how they are emotionally and mentally wired. When he is telling you to move on, please listen to him and know that he is doing you a huge favor because he knows his limits and capabilities. You will always be a woman he uses to have sex with. There will be no emotion tied to it and even if he contacts you, it will be for sex. And these guys will play the biggest mind f*** on you because they are seasoned and experienced in getting women to play their game. The best thing you can do is set some standards for yourself and value yourself a little more. Missing him is understandable because your heart was in it but remaining in such a situation when a man tells you he was using you is lacking dignity and self-respect. He's not complicated. He's being who he is. It just doesn't coincide with your views. 1
fucpcg Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Welcome to the story of my ex... she was nasty when she was drinking, and she would sleep with half the town. However get her dry for a while, and out of her mouth came some pretty swett things, and thoughts of the long trem together. Then she gets back to the liquior, and she dumps me in a thoughtless way, is back to being nasty, and is sleeping with the other half of town. When alcohol and promiscuity are involved, run! There isn't anything you can do to fix a relationship with a person like that. They can only fix themself, if they ever really choose to.
Shakira1904 Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Witchy, I know you want views from men but my ex sounds like yours. It's not about how you look or your personality but more so his mental and emotional make. They are wired a certain way. After my break-up, my ex broke down and gave me the full story about who he truly was. He cannot be committed to any woman. Granted I was his longest and said I was the most beautiful he's ever had, inside and out, and still sometimes randomly texts me to this day eventhough we have both moved on, it was not enough for him to break from his ways. He said he is conditioned to be that way and always will be because sex without committment is and always will be his priority. Hence, the uncountable women in his life. In a year, I have seen him with 4 other women, and while I don't mean to be conceited, they were average in looks, in all honesty. So, you can be the most beautiful woman in the world, have the biggest and kindest heart, have a fabulous personality or the complete opposite, it will never be about you but how they are emotionally and mentally wired. When he is telling you to move on, please listen to him and know that he is doing you a huge favor because he knows his limits and capabilities. You will always be a woman he uses to have sex with. There will be no emotion tied to it and even if he contacts you, it will be for sex. And these guys will play the biggest mind f*** on you because they are seasoned and experienced in getting women to play their game. The best thing you can do is set some standards for yourself and value yourself a little more. Missing him is understandable because your heart was in it but remaining in such a situation when a man tells you he was using you is lacking dignity and self-respect. He's not complicated. He's being who he is. It just doesn't coincide with your views. Wow geegirl that is just awesome - witchychick this is the best advice you are going to get. Please value yourself - you will always be the most beautiful person, inside and out, for the right person. It's so obvious that this guy has shattered your self-esteem but believe me your looks should be the last thing that should matter. If he couldn't love you for who you are then he was never worth it. Try to be strong and move on or at least accept who he really is and that will help the healing process.
witchychick Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 he was drunk the last time I saw him and well,he likes his booze. Welcome to the story of my ex... she was nasty when she was drinking, and she would sleep with half the town. However get her dry for a while, and out of her mouth came some pretty swett things, and thoughts of the long trem together. Then she gets back to the liquior, and she dumps me in a thoughtless way, is back to being nasty, and is sleeping with the other half of town. When alcohol and promiscuity are involved, run! There isn't anything you can do to fix a relationship with a person like that. They can only fix themself, if they ever really choose to.
witchychick Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 I was already insecure. This has made me even less trusting,though. I just didnt like him saying I look fine. I know plenty of other Women don't like it when a man says that to them,either. I miss him a lot and I am depressed. It's hard when you have feelings for someone who you wanted to be with so much, and they dont want to talk to or see you anymore. Wow geegirl that is just awesome - witchychick this is the best advice you are going to get. Please value yourself - you will always be the most beautiful person, inside and out, for the right person. It's so obvious that this guy has shattered your self-esteem but believe me your looks should be the last thing that should matter. If he couldn't love you for who you are then he was never worth it. Try to be strong and move on or at least accept who he really is and that will help the healing process.
witchychick Posted June 7, 2012 Posted June 7, 2012 well I know you don't know the full story with him but we had a awesome first date,then two nights later I slept with him. yes I know that was too soon but it's done now. He told me he believed he could fall for me and that he had a 2.5 week job out of state. he said he would email me every chance he got and things seemed fine til I said something he didnt like. Then he started ignoring me. This was back in March. He said what I said was too strong for him. But when he finally replied to me two weeks later, he said his best friend got messed up with these bad guys-he didnt call them bad guys,though,and they were somehow following everyone he came in contact with. The last nite I saw him,a week ago, I brought this up again and he told me the guys were loan sharks and he told other people he couldnt talk to them for two weeks,too and that he told people what he needed to tell them to basically 'protect' them. I dont know what he may be into because he told me he made $750 'doing what he does'. All I know that he does is go to college and he told me he got some music gigs, but not full time. So after he reappeared for a few hours basically, he ignored me again for almost a month, and replied to me again early last month saying he was dealing with inner self conflict, and in between jobs and trying to go to school. He said if he cant take care of himself how could be bring another person into his life. He got mad at me because I told him not to play games because he said maybe I will, maybe I wont when I asked him if i would still get my alleged birthday gift that he said he had for me before he disappeared in April. My bday was in April, and he said it was for after my bday. He told me he didnt want to see me again and not to email or call him. I did anyway, and when he decided to reply again, he said we were starting over as friends first and if it goes further it is what it is. He told me, by the way that he gave my alleged bday gift away-that it was tickets to see Bush. They'll be here on the 16th. He said he was mad because he thought I was seeing someone else because in texts I would say things like you can talk to me if you want? I would say things like that because he freakin ignored me half the time! And yeah, he ignored me for almost a month and I was the one who kept trying to contact him. But he thought *I* was seeing someone else?? Maybe he was just pulling s*** out of his a**. I know this is a mess. I just got feelings for him which is 'great'. I hate that it turned out this way. But yeah I was stuck on him saying I look 'fine' as if I'm just ok looking. I know he loved at least one or two women he was in a relationship before, and I know he got hurt,too. So if he is a player now, maybe he is that way since getting hurt,I dont know. He did tell me before we got invlved that he wasn't necessarily looking to settle down because of past relationships. But then there were the things he said to me like "I believe I could fall for you". I know words don't necessarily mean anything,though which is unfortunate but just saying. Witchy, I know you want views from men but my ex sounds like yours. It's not about how you look or your personality but more so his mental and emotional make. They are wired a certain way. After my break-up, my ex broke down and gave me the full story about who he truly was. He cannot be committed to any woman. Granted I was his longest and said I was the most beautiful he's ever had, inside and out, and still sometimes randomly texts me to this day eventhough we have both moved on, it was not enough for him to break from his ways. He said he is conditioned to be that way and always will be because sex without committment is and always will be his priority. Hence, the uncountable women in his life. In a year, I have seen him with 4 other women, and while I don't mean to be conceited, they were average in looks, in all honesty. So, you can be the most beautiful woman in the world, have the biggest and kindest heart, have a fabulous personality or the complete opposite, it will never be about you but how they are emotionally and mentally wired. When he is telling you to move on, please listen to him and know that he is doing you a huge favor because he knows his limits and capabilities. You will always be a woman he uses to have sex with. There will be no emotion tied to it and even if he contacts you, it will be for sex. And these guys will play the biggest mind f*** on you because they are seasoned and experienced in getting women to play their game. The best thing you can do is set some standards for yourself and value yourself a little more. Missing him is understandable because your heart was in it but remaining in such a situation when a man tells you he was using you is lacking dignity and self-respect. He's not complicated. He's being who he is. It just doesn't coincide with your views.
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