trubeliever Posted June 6, 2012 Share Posted June 6, 2012 I was raised in a family with one brother and no other siblings. Growing up we had a farm and several hundred acres. My brother is two years older and has always worked alongside of my dad on the family farm. Being a female I have always worked outside of the family business and own my business. My brother has always been favored because of the fact he is closer to my parents due to his working for them. Within a year of graduating high school my brother married and now has three children. I was never fortunate enough to find "mr right", so I am the exact opposite, never married nor do I have any children. Its no secret that my family wants everyone to live close. My family loaned money to my brother for his first home after he married, and now lives directly across the street from where we grew up and my parents still live. After my graduating I moved into a home on one of our ranches and have lived there ever since. I have never been close to my father but I had a good relationship growing up with my mom. Through the years I have always managed to end up dating the wrong guy for whatever reason, so I think that my past mistakes hinder my family from giving any new prospects a chance. Therefore my parents deem the relationship doomed before it even starts. I am currently in a relationship with someone that my parents hate. Because of money issues, he and I have been struggling in and out of the relationship at times, but there is still a strong attraction there between us. He isn't abusive, so my parents don't have to worry for my safety. But because they don't like him he isn't allowed on the property and they have asked me to move and want nothing to do with me. I don't understand their way of thinking throughout all of this. I am 47 years old and they treat me like I am still a teenager. If I had children I would allow them to have their own life, allow them to make their own mistakes, be there for them if they needed me, unconditionally. Am I missing something here? Above all I don't understand how they can totally alienate me from their lives just because I care for someone they don't. I need help with this because my family is important to me and I want to have a good relationship with them, but it is very frustrating. I am starting to resent them. Don't they want me to be happy? Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 This is ridiculous to say the least. You need to decide to do what is best for your own happiness, not what will fall within someone else's rules. If that means cutting the family off then so be it. Not an easy choice, but neither is choosing to be miserable by staying under their control. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 You're 47 and still doing what your parents want? Maybe that has had something to do with the failed relationships. I would advise some therapy so you can get to the root of your connections. Link to post Share on other sites
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