KansasChica Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Okay, so my ex and I have been broken up for about six months now with very minimal contact- a couple emails, but that's it. I thought I had hit my acceptance phase, but then we hung out as a group this past weekend. The whole time, we kept looking at each other, he brought up good memories from our relationship, we hugged and just caught up. It was really nice, and now I'm just so confused. Towards the end of the night, it was like he freaked out again and ran off to flirt with another girl. I just don't get it. I think the main reason he broke up with me was our age difference. I'm a couple years older and I think he assumes that I'm ready to get married and have children tomorrow! (which is definitely not the case). I'm just trying to figure out what to do- my brain keeps racing and my heart aching. He's been interviewing for jobs across the country (I think trying to escape his hurt and emotions). Should I tell him how I feel or should I just forget him??
Philosoraptor Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Well what do you want out of this? You say what happened but not much about where you'd like things to go if you had a choice. Personally I'd understand that what happened was his choice and do whatever I needed to in order to protect my own feelings.
Author KansasChica Posted June 6, 2012 Author Posted June 6, 2012 We had a good relationship for the most part. We rarely argued and enjoyed being together. He started pulling away a bit towards the end, which made my anxiety act up a bit. I drunkingly asked him if he saw himself marrying me in the future and I think that really scared him off. Even though he really loved me, he just assumed that's what I wanted ASAP. I just want to start fresh. Now that enough time has passed, I can see that we moved quickly and spent too much time together. We lost our identities in the relationship, but I'm afraid that he'll always see me now as someone pressuring him to marry me. I just miss having him in my life.
Author KansasChica Posted June 6, 2012 Author Posted June 6, 2012 Plus, he hasn't really been dating anyone since we broke up. I heard through the grapevine that our mutual guy friends were trying to get him to talk to other girls, but he wasn't interested. He actually mentioned that to me on Saturday- that he hadn't really been trying to date anyone.
geegirl Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Personally, if a man really wants to be with you and somehow got a little scared when you mentioned marriage, he'd communicate with you rather than throw it all out the window because talk of the future scares him ****less. You guys felt a connection again at the group meeting because it brought up feelings from the past, most likely a slew of mixed emotions but nothing that is indicative of wanting to get back together. You both were once in a relationship so it's normal to react to each other that way. You are reading into things. And don't try to rationalize his need to find jobs cross country because you "think" he is running away from his pain, unless he has specifically had a conversation with you about what he feels and what he thinks. Creating those types of thought patterns will keep you hopeful and in denial. It's pretty simple. When someone wants to spend their life with you, talk of the future shouldn't scare them, and if it does, there's always a way to communicate each other's needs, plans and dreams without having to fully abandon the relationship.
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