ctrw Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 I have been involved in a relationship with a man who is 29 years older than me for 6 yrs. now. I'm 28 and he is 57. We have a beautiful relationship and get along great. He treats me like a queen and I try my best to treat him just a good. I've never been married and have no childeren. He is divorced and was before the relationship ever started. His son is a few years older than me so there is no children involved. I very recently came out with the news to my family after keeping this hid. I knew it would be hard for my family to understand, but after researching, I have found out this may be a little uncommon, but this can work. We are both very much in love with each other and look at love as only a number. I look at him as my heart not a 57 year old man. Neither one of us are wealthy, so we are not using each other for money! We really love each other. My family (parents) have told me that they love me unconditionally, but can't support the age difference. This of course has broke my heart, because I desire my family to be proud of me in everything I do. They see it as I being on the bad end of the deal in the long run. I can't just stop loving someone because I may be taking care of him later on! My family wants me to include him in our family events but can't support the idea of a marriage working out to benefit me. What do you think; am I unusual?
Stone Posted June 28, 2004 Posted June 28, 2004 Some people may disagree with me but no I do not think you are unusual. You can't help who you love. and if it works for you who is anyone to judge. Maby your faimly will learn to love him as well if you include him in your faimly events. There are things you must consider if you haven't already before you marry. Do you ever want kids? Make sure you are 100% sure of this before you marry him.
brashgal Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 There are no guarantees in life - many people end up taking care of their spouses who suffer from an illness or are involved in accidents at any age.
Phelly Posted June 29, 2004 Posted June 29, 2004 my mother and father are exactly 20 years apart. Not quite 29 years, but still, I don't think it's "weird" Actually I know that it can work. Because my parents have been happily married some 32 years or so, ever since mom was 24 and dad was 44. They married less than a month after they met, and they've been happy since. (had 6 children too) So all is fair game, I think. But you can understand if your family sees this the wrong way. Under more common circumstances, you'd like to see a married couple have the opportunity to grow old together. But it looks like you'll have to do it seperately. If you can live with that, well, that's up to you. I don't think I could, personally. Then again I'm not the one who is in love.
Karlise13 Posted June 30, 2004 Posted June 30, 2004 I dated someone who was 21 years older than me and it was serious relationship. We got along great! I never was aware of the age difference unless someone else brought it up. There are challenges in any relationship. You never know how long you have in this world and there are no guarantees. If you honestly love this man I wouldn't give it up just because your parents dont' approve. Hey, you're an ADULT...free to make your own choices.
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