sunlover Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Alright ladies & gents: I got involved with a man who has a fiancé. But hear the story...technically they are on a break and are doing their own things because she is having legal issues coming back. He asked me out, was honest up front. His fiance is in a different country & they have obly seen each other for 7 days in the past two years. He has hooked up with two other girls but just one night stands. Ive been with him everyday for 5 months now. He said he's going to call it off ( of course ya dont believe thst till its done) but....what would you do? Walk away? give him space to get his mind right? you cant have your cake and eat it too. Then you have to think about if he calls it off...she will always be thst ex fiance. Advice appreciated.
carhill Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Welcome to LS Any of this independently verifiable? In such circumstances, I like 'trust with verification'. It works.
oaks Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 He said he's going to call it off ( of course ya dont believe thst till its done) but....what would you do? He says he's going to call it off. Ask when that will happen. Make a note of when, and check back to see if it happened. There's no point in making an ultimatum out of it - either accept it (including accepting his timescale for resolving it) or walk away. If he doesn't call it off when he says he will then there's your answer about how serious he sees things with you, so walk away.
Emilia Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Alright ladies & gents: I got involved with a man who has a fiancé. But hear the story...technically they are on a break and are doing their own things because she is having legal issues coming back. He asked me out, was honest up front. His fiance is in a different country & they have obly seen each other for 7 days in the past two years. He has hooked up with two other girls but just one night stands. Ive been with him everyday for 5 months now. He said he's going to call it off ( of course ya dont believe thst till its done) but....what would you do? Walk away? give him space to get his mind right? you cant have your cake and eat it too. Then you have to think about if he calls it off...she will always be thst ex fiance. Advice appreciated. So let me recap: you are dating a man who wants to marry someone he has only seen for 7 days in the past two years and he cheated on her with at least 2 other women (those you know about) and now with you. He is having his cake and he is eating it too, he has been doing so for the last 5 months. You are dating a serial cheater. Well done. 2
ScienceGal Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 In my opinion, he should've called it off by now. 5 months and he's still not committed to you? And he's ok with cheating and lying to his fiancé? This guy is having his cake and eating it too. lucky fella. 1
SJC2008 Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Date him until he calls off his engagement, marries you and cheats on you. Rinse and repeat! 1
setsenia Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 I know someone who dated an engaged man....he eventually went back to his fiance. I wouldn't go any further unless the engagement is actually off. 1
Eddie Edirol Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 In my opinion, he should've called it off by now. 5 months and he's still not committed to you? And he's ok with cheating and lying to his fiancé? This guy is having his cake and eating it too. lucky fella. Yep, if he hasnt called it off by now, then he isnt on a break, he just needs company while his fiance is elsewhere. What is he waiting for to call it off? To realize youre not good enough and he wants to go back to his fiance?
kaylan Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Lmao @ the fact that people who fall for this crap. OP hes using you and pulling a fast one over on you. Be smart and leave. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 I would never consider "dating the engaged man." The circumstances surrounding this fellow and your dealings with him make him out to be a pretty … loserly guy, on top of being engaged. Yuck.
Author sunlover Posted June 6, 2012 Author Posted June 6, 2012 They are waiting on a final answer from immigration. She has a criminal record and supposedly cannot come back. They are doing their own things and in my opinion seeing someone for 7 days in two years is not something anyone wants
mortensorchid Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 THere is something very shady about this whole situation. His infidelity aside, he has only seen this person for 7 days in the last 2 YEARS? I don't care if you live in another country or next door to each other, that is strange. I would move on if you haven't already, this is just plain weird.
Quiet Storm Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 Why do you want to be with a cheater? Don't allow emotions and romance to override this character flaw. Cheating & lying are not situational or circumstantial, and if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.
Author sunlover Posted June 6, 2012 Author Posted June 6, 2012 She cannot enter the country and she lives in Turkey. So i guess finances play a role in his travels. It is a fact he has only seen her for one week. Do we consider it cheating when he is on a break?
carhill Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 OP, here's the sticky wicket of verifiability...... Example: My wife and I are 'on a break'. We agreed it was OK to date and have sex with other people. Verification? Ask my wife, independently, and, if the answer agrees with my statement, you have verification. Otherwise, it's just carbon dioxide from my lips to your ears. People lie, including people who have 'complicated' relationships. If he told you tomorrow that he had broken off his engagement, and gave a nice laundry list of good 'reasons', how do you know those words are reflective of reality? After five months of 'being together every day', his actions should support his words proactively and without ambiguity. Yet here is a thread.... Canary perhaps?
veggirl Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 They are waiting on a final answer from immigration. She has a criminal record and supposedly cannot come back. They are doing their own things and in my opinion seeing someone for 7 days in two years is not something anyone wants So, if she can't come back he will settle for you? Lovely
ScienceGal Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 And, I'd ask him where your ring is...just to see his reaction.
Author sunlover Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 Verified by all his friends/my friends. We went to school together. If she gave the final decision, i would personally call it off for a while for him to grieve, not just settle for me.
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