zero123 Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 4 weeks, going into week 5. I am feeling much better, happier which I never imagined mysef would reach this stage this soon. I am still healing but the fact that my ex is a fellow coworker (in a different team) does not really help my healing but has prolonged the process. A friend of mine who works in the same company saw my ex one day 3 weeks after we broke up in the lift with another girl. He and the girl were kinda intimate, the girl was seen wrapping her arm around his. When my friend informed me this. I was just shocked, angry and hurt at the same time. First off, he already moved on when I was still trying to get back on track which I think I am making a good progress. Secondly, he brought the girl to the office and did not seem to give a damn about potentially bumping into my friends while he was with his new girl at the office premise. I am so sick and tired of this jerk keeps hurting me in a new way every week when I am trying to get better. His actions just show how he doesn't respect me, he doesn't care about my feelings. HOw could someone just crush you by dumping you then treat you as if you are nothing but a piece of trash that does not deserve his respect at all?
Exit Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 Obviously the job market is rough but if it's going to cause drama for you it couldn't hurt to look for employment elsewhere. I think you just have to face the cold hard facts of life. What he did isn't really about disrespecting you. He is obviously just ready to move on and his world and his actions do not revolve around you any longer. No he didn't take the time to ask himself if having another girl around him where your friends could see would hurt your feelings, nor did he really do it on purpose. He's just going on with life. At this point, nothing your ex can do is going to feel good. What if your friends found him crying in the office and being miserable, then you would just wonder why he wanted to break up if he still cares for you. Knowing that he has been seen being flirting with someone else will just help you to understand that it's in your best interest to keep moving on. Hope you feel better.
TaraMaiden Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 When my friend informed me this. I was just shocked, angry and hurt at the same time. First off, he already moved on when I was still trying to get back on track which I think I am making a good progress. he didn't need to 'move on'. He 'moved on' before he dumped you. That's why he dumped you - because it was over. there is no reason for him to see himself as moving on. You're the one having to move on. he was just living his life as he wished, form one day to the next - and is continuing to do so. Secondly, he brought the girl to the office and did not seem to give a damn about potentially bumping into my friends while he was with his new girl at the office premise. Given that he has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with you any more, and that you are now two completely different people, totally unattached and focussing on doing different things - can you think of any logical reason why he shouldn't? Consideration of your feelings is no longer an issue. Your feelings don't matter, and neither should they - just as whatever he does should not matter to you, because it's nothing to do with you.... it's over, and he's an ex. You have no more right to expect him to be considerate of your feelings on the matter, than you have to ask him for his personal bank card. I am so sick and tired of this jerk keeps hurting me in a new way every week when I am trying to get better. if he hurts you, it's because you have given him power, clearance and permission to do so. He does not set out deliberately to hurt you - but this is the way you are choosing to take it. As a personal affront. Well, sorry, but it's not... it may be tactless of him, but if it hurts you, it's because you have decided to let it hurt you. His actions just show how he doesn't respect me, he doesn't care about my feelings. no, of course he doesn't. Because you are not a person to take into consideration, any longer. his actions aren't about you - they're about him. he cannot - and should not - be expected to think, every time, "Now, if I do this No. Because he shouldn't have to, and you no longer have the right to demand or expect that of him. this is down to you. How could someone just crush you by dumping you then treat you as if you are nothing but a piece of trash that does not deserve his respect at all? Because he can. Because there is no other way you can expect him to behave. You can't modify what he does, but you can modify your perception and handle on it. He's acting as if nothing.... So must you. 1
Char12 Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 It sounds almost as if he's trying to flaunt her in front of you, or knew the word would get round. His lack of respect shows for you means you should probably let his new girl have him..
Author zero123 Posted June 7, 2012 Author Posted June 7, 2012 Thanks guys. You guys are totally right. I think i'm doing ok! Because after posting here and talking to my other friends, I distracted myself with meeting new people and I have already forgotten about it a few days after. Yes, I am not completely healed yet but I could feel I am getting there very soon. You guys are right, i could finally see what kind of a person he truly is and I am so glad he let go of me. And yes, I should not and am not giving a damn about what he is doing these days. I am feeling so much happier, much happier than before, much happier than when I was in this relationship. Turns out this relationship was nothing but a disaster because I knew he was a jerk at the beginning but I just enjoyed being in a relationship so much that I chose to ignore those warning signs. Thanks again for all your words and support
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