ridinbikes247 Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 December of 2010 my wife left with our 3 year old son. I had no idea why. A month after she left I met a new girl and dated her for 2 months. I brung her around my son. My wife got jealous and has never let that down. She wanted me back and I took her back. In the past 1.5 years I bought her a new car, and we bought a new house. 3 months after I bought the house she became distant again. I knew the feeling all to well. It was like deja vu from December 2010. She said she didnt love me so I left EVERYTHING with her and our son. I moved in my parents. For the next 2 months I tried my best to get her to reconcile or marriage counsling. well, i started moving on. I had a few one night stands and she knows about them. One was actually her friend. Well, today I pick up our 4 year old son and he tells me about Matt. Matt is the guy my wife left me for in December 2010 I finally found out...and now there dating again. He is staying the night and sleeping in the same bed as my 4 year old son. We have been legally separated for 4 months. They have been seeing each other for about a month and he stays quite often. I am livid right now. My wife says the only reason she is dating him is because I did her friend and Ive had one night stands. she also brings up the girl I dated in December 2010 when SHE left me !!!! well. I tried to make us work and she chose not to. so i moved on.......ahhh life sucks.. i hate when she puts the blame on me for everything
whichwayisup Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 Seems like you both are in the wrong. All you can do now is put your son first, do counselling to help you two co parent together in a healthy way and file for divorce. The game playing and drama, your gf, her bf around the child is NOT good. Each of you must put him first and NOT allow ANY other person to be around him, that's not fair to him at all. You and your wife have an unhealthy dynamic and that needs to stop. Whether or not you divorce or stay together, again COUNSELLING is a must.
icelover1020 Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 She is completely in the wrong! She shouldn't be letting this man sleep in the same bed with your son. She is just getting jealous and trying to get back at you. And when she knows shes doing wrong she has to make herself feel better and turn it on you again.
whichwayisup Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 She is completely in the wrong! She shouldn't be letting this man sleep in the same bed with your son. She is just getting jealous and trying to get back at you. And when she knows shes doing wrong she has to make herself feel better and turn it on you again. I agree with this..But two wrongs do not make a right. The way they each handled this is wrong.. No need to go into details since it's all covered in his opening post.
Author ridinbikes247 Posted June 3, 2012 Author Posted June 3, 2012 is this karma on both our parts ? or is there still more yet to come ? I believe what goes around comes around. She has been talking to this guy for 1.5 years behind my back. She fooled me into buying a house and paying her car off.
2.50 a gallon Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 Question Are you still making payments on her new car and the house she is living in? What is preventing you from moving back into the house with her and your kid? Do you have a separation agreement that prevents you from moving back into the house?
RedDevil66 Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 Who cares about right or wrong? What do you want? A healthy marriage? If so, then work on your side of the street. Not sure how old you are, but this seems so immature. Your kids need to witness this behavior! Not trying to be callous, but if you want to be happy, let your ego go, work on yourself and maybe she will follow in your steps and then your kids can see two happy and healthy parents.
The Blue Knight Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 December of 2010 my wife left with our 3 year old son. I had no idea why. A month after she left I met a new girl and dated her for 2 months. I brung her around my son. My wife got jealous and has never let that down. She wanted me back and I took her back. In the past 1.5 years I bought her a new car, and we bought a new house. 3 months after I bought the house she became distant again. I knew the feeling all to well. It was like deja vu from December 2010. She said she didnt love me so I left EVERYTHING with her and our son. I moved in my parents. For the next 2 months I tried my best to get her to reconcile or marriage counsling. well, i started moving on. I had a few one night stands and she knows about them. One was actually her friend. Well, today I pick up our 4 year old son and he tells me about Matt. Matt is the guy my wife left me for in December 2010 I finally found out...and now there dating again. He is staying the night and sleeping in the same bed as my 4 year old son. We have been legally separated for 4 months. They have been seeing each other for about a month and he stays quite often. I am livid right now. My wife says the only reason she is dating him is because I did her friend and Ive had one night stands. she also brings up the girl I dated in December 2010 when SHE left me !!!! well. I tried to make us work and she chose not to. so i moved on.......ahhh life sucks.. i hate when she puts the blame on me for everything Sounds like you both have some issues. I understand that she left you both times, but how could she find out about your number of one night stands without you somehow telling her? And what would be the point if it wasn't for some type of payback or silly tit for tat behavior? She wanted you back the first time because of the "commodity factor" if you haven't figured that out yet. Once another woman wants what one woman previously had, the commodity factor goes into effect and you're sought out again by the person who dumped you. This happened to me with my ex wife as soon as she knew I was dating after our divorce was finalized. Once they see that someone else is showing interest, you're suddenly popular again. But beware. The commodity factor unusually wears off over time, as it seems you discovered. What's really sad is that your wife is allowing this guy to sleep over and a 4-year old is sharing a bed? What the &%$#? Is she nuts or just that flipping immature? Both of you better get it together for the sake of your son.
whichwayisup Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 is this karma on both our parts ? or is there still more yet to come ? I believe what goes around comes around. She has been talking to this guy for 1.5 years behind my back. She fooled me into buying a house and paying her car off. You both are playing games and all this is ego based.. who cares who is right and who is wrong! The focus should be on either divorcing and making things as smooth and painless as possible for your children so they can adjust to all the changes in a healthy way OR, go to marriage counselling and LEARN how to be loving, respectful, supportive towards one another. LEARN how to communicate and listen to one another. To grow up and BE real spouses to eachother. What is it that you want to happen?
firemanq Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 AS to the child/OM dynamics. Dr Jenn Berman on her radio show says to keep the other person away from the children for one year. It is OK if the kids know you are seeing someone, but do not introduce the other person to the children for one year. I wish I known about that when I was single. I fell in love with several kids, instead of their mother. The following break ups were harder on the kids than the adults. And in my marriage/break-up. Our children met the OM the week she moved out and into another house. Or, I assume the kids had not met him previously.
Quiet Storm Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 You are both in the wrong because you are both putting your own needs before the needs of your child. 1
MissBee Posted June 6, 2012 Posted June 6, 2012 You are both in the wrong because you are both putting your own needs before the needs of your child. Ditto. I feel terrible for this little boy...as both his parents are playing games with each other and he is in the middle. Why would a mother allow a man she is dating to sleep in the same bed as her son?????? Why would a father find out about this and not seem to be concerned about this at all??? That is one thing I cannot tolerate and one reason I lost ALL respect for my ex. I don't care what adults do to each other, but when they disregard their child's well being is when I have a problem. My ex, in pursuit of women and his own happiness, would bring all kinds of women into his son's life, even move them into his house after a month of dating! Then in 3 months it would be over....and on to the next...rinse, repeat. That sickened me. I suggest you and your wife get yourselves together and refrain from bringing the people you are messing with around your child.
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