Gulf-Delta Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 There's so many things that people say about relationships that don't apply to logic or the physical world. Like the term "soulmates" or the notion that if you TRULY love someone they will return. Or absense makes the heart grow fonder. Or never giving up hope will bring them back.... To these states of mind/mottos/ideas actually exist? Are they foolish to believe in?
Exit Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 Probably all BS, just coping mechanisms (like many other beliefs people choose to have :-X). Although they say lies and exaggerations do usually contain a grain of truth. Sure absence makes the heart grow fonder, but that doesn't mean you can predict what will happen. I think a lot of this stuff just comes from heart broken people looking for hope. You see it on the forums every day, people asking if you've ever had an ex come back, how long it took, how it happened, as if that has any affect on their situation. We're all looking for something to believe in so we can feel better. I wouldn't say these little white lies or silly beliefs are totally useless though. In an indirect way, these little beliefs can keep you going until the day you're totally over it, or you meet someone else and then suddenly you don't care if you ever hear from your ex again. So in actuality they don't come true, your ex didn't come back and absence didn't make them miss you, but you were able to tell yourself those things during the really dark days, and now you're past them and it doesn't matter. 1
Author Gulf-Delta Posted June 3, 2012 Author Posted June 3, 2012 Probably all BS, just coping mechanisms (like many other beliefs people choose to have :-X). Although they say lies and exaggerations do usually contain a grain of truth. Sure absence makes the heart grow fonder, but that doesn't mean you can predict what will happen. I think a lot of this stuff just comes from heart broken people looking for hope. You see it on the forums every day, people asking if you've ever had an ex come back, how long it took, how it happened, as if that has any affect on their situation. We're all looking for something to believe in so we can feel better. I wouldn't say these little white lies or silly beliefs are totally useless though. In an indirect way, these little beliefs can keep you going until the day you're totally over it, or you meet someone else and then suddenly you don't care if you ever hear from your ex again. So in actuality they don't come true, your ex didn't come back and absence didn't make them miss you, but you were able to tell yourself those things during the really dark days, and now you're past them and it doesn't matter. Yeah, but it's like.... Sometimes you have to wonder, maybe there is some kind of bigger....thing at work when it comes to these things. After all, most success stories always have the participants saying "I never gave up on them," or "I knew all along they'd come back". IDK...I feel like that sometimes, but am just wondering if I'm stupid for hoping and believing it.
HHC Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 If you love something set it free. I believe in that one.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted June 3, 2012 Author Posted June 3, 2012 If you love something set it free. I believe in that one. I do too now. I am still deep in love with this woman...I just can't help it. And because I love her, I know I need to let her have her time to discover who/what she really is. I just have this huge fear that she'll never wake up, and I'll lose the most special person I've ever met.
Jingle14 Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 I do believe in fate though, to an extent. My home town is 60 miles from where I now live, and where my ex is from. I found out though that, years ago when I still lived and worked in my home town, he went to university a 5 minute walk from my office, 12 years before we met and I was looking for work where I now live, I had a phone call from his father (not that I knew that then) inviting me for a job interview at what is now his company (I often wonder 'what if I had taken the job' all those years ago) and I moved into his nighbourhood, before our paths finally crossed over 4 years ago during a community activity. And right from that first meeting, there was something there. Strange really. And i know this sounds really stupid, but, while we were together, the weather was perfectly seasonal - a beautiful autumn, wonderful cold and snowy winter (the first snow arriving when we were away in an idylic setting) and a gloriously, and very unusually (for the UK) hot spring. The one month the weather was gloomy and rainy was when we split the first time, as soon as we got back together it changed again (I said it sounds stupid!). This year has been completely different, cold, rainy and gloomy, with a very few days exception. It's as if 'something' approved of our being together which I know, logically, is nonsense.
Author Gulf-Delta Posted June 3, 2012 Author Posted June 3, 2012 (edited) I do believe in fate though, to an extent. My home town is 60 miles from where I now live, and where my ex is from. I found out though that, years ago when I still lived and worked in my home town, he went to university a 5 minute walk from my office, 12 years before we met and I was looking for work where I now live, I had a phone call from his father (not that I knew that then) inviting me for a job interview at what is now his company (I often wonder 'what if I had taken the job' all those years ago) and I moved into his nighbourhood, before our paths finally crossed over 4 years ago during a community activity. And right from that first meeting, there was something there. Strange really. And i know this sounds really stupid, but, while we were together, the weather was perfectly seasonal - a beautiful autumn, wonderful cold and snowy winter (the first snow arriving when we were away in an idylic setting) and a gloriously, and very unusually (for the UK) hot spring. The one month the weather was gloomy and rainy was when we split the first time, as soon as we got back together it changed again (I said it sounds stupid!). This year has been completely different, cold, rainy and gloomy, with a very few days exception. It's as if 'something' approved of our being together which I know, logically, is nonsense. Not to me. I also believe in fate. MY ex moved behind my best friend in 5th grade. I lived behind HER best friend who lived across the street from her. Sound confusing, but basically we lived a street away from each other for years without ever meeting. There are other small things...my address was 8924, hers was 8942...her whole family is scorpios...so am I. She's a capricorn. We had the same groups of friends but never crossed paths. About a month after I set in my head my ideal woman, there she was, and she matched my ideal woman to the T. After getting involved with some out right terrible girls, one day I was like "Screw this. My ideal woman needs to have these qualities." It was unrealistic...a musician, an artist or writer, good taste in music, good sense of humor, etc. I go to my friend's house one night and there she is. When I met her, she was playing guitar (strike 1) and later found out one of her biggest dreams was to illustrate and write children's book (strikes 2 & 3). She just had the whole package and lived up to every unrealistic, crazy standard I had. The biggest thing though....and I hate talking about it...was a miscarriage she had...she was actually pregnant when I first met her. We were just friends (we didn't date until LONG after), and nothing more, only seeing each other once in a while at parties. Then she had the miscarriage, disappeared for months...showed up again and we connected. As it turned out, after the miscarriage, the guy just turned into the worst person. He actually BLAMED HER for the miscarriage, got addicted to drugs, etc. Her and I only talked about her miscarriage once...she told me "everything happens for a reason" and said that it wasn't meant to be with him. I believe in fate big time. And I believe this woman was fated to be with me. She did too. I just hope she remembers that. Edited June 3, 2012 by Gulf-Delta
Jingle14 Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 Not to me. I also believe in fate. MY ex moved behind my best friend in 5th grade. I lived behind HER best friend who lived across the street from her. Sound confusing, but basically we lived a street away from each other for years without ever meeting. There are other small things...my address was 8924, hers was 8942...her whole family is scorpios...so am I. She's a capricorn. We had the same groups of friends but never crossed paths. About a month after I set in my head my ideal woman, there she was, and she matched my ideal woman to the T. After getting involved with some out right terrible girls, one day I was like "Screw this. My ideal woman needs to have these qualities." It was unrealistic...a musician, an artist or writer, good taste in music, good sense of humor, etc. I go to my friend's house one night and there she is. When I met her, she was playing guitar (strike 1) and later found out one of her biggest dreams was to illustrate and write children's book (strikes 2 & 3). She just had the whole package and lived up to every unrealistic, crazy standard I had. The biggest thing though....and I hate talking about it...was a miscarriage she had...she was actually pregnant when I first met her. We were just friends (we didn't date until LONG after), and nothing more, only seeing each other once in a while at parties. Then she had the miscarriage, disappeared for months...showed up again and we connected. As it turned out, after the miscarriage, the guy just turned into the worst person. He actually BLAMED HER for the miscarriage, got addicted to drugs, etc. Her and I only talked about her miscarriage once...she told me "everything happens for a reason" and said that it wasn't meant to be with him. I believe in fate big time. And I believe this woman was fated to be with me. She did too. I just hope she remembers that. Yeah, I had my own tick list too and he fitted the bill absolutely, that's what drew me to him in the first place. The more i got to know him, the more attractive he became to me (physically, he wasn't my ideal and I was very confused initially because I couldn't pinpoint the attraction but he became the most gorgeous man in the world to me). I hope fate brings him back to me, eventually but I seriously doubt it though.
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