FleetFoxes Posted June 3, 2012 Posted June 3, 2012 I feel extremely foolish to be doing this, but I just need to get opinions from people who aren't close friends. I'm 16, my ex boyfriend is as well. We've known each other for years, but only just became friends about a year ago. Last summer we weren't really dating, but we sort of had a summer-fling, as lame as that sounds. He asked me to go out with him, but I said no, because I didn't have any real feelings for him. In August of last year, I finally told him we should end our fling, and that was it. We didn't talk. Then, in about September, he made contact with me again. Throughout September and October, he would text me every few days, obviously trying to make me jealous about other girls. He was clearly still into me, though I still didn't have any feelings for him. In November, he cut the games so I agreed we could be friends again. Then on December 3, he asked me out again, and this time I agreed. I still had no feelings for him, and I get it was wrong of me to agree to date him if I didn't actually like him, but I thought eh what the hell? Anyway, it wasn't until about February that I started to develop actual feelings for him. From then, until about April, everything was going perfectly. We saw each other regularly (he doesn't go to my school- he took courses at the local community college) and we talked all the time. Things were great. In April, he started doing a bunch of things outside of school (horseback riding lessons, joined a musical, driver's ed classes, work etc) and this occupied a lot of his time. Not to mention, as the end of the school year for me rolled around, I was busy with review work and such. So we rarely saw each other, but when we did, everything was great. He frequently told me how much he cared about me and how happy he was with everything. By the way, sorry this is so long. I'm just now realizing I am unable to tell brief stories haha. Anyway, I kind of just assumed that once I was done with school, and once he was done with the musical (they would both end around the same time) things would go back to normal, because we'd be less busy. So as much as I hated not being able to spend as much time with him, and he did too, I clung to the idea that things would eventually get better. Tomorrow, Sunday June 3, would have been our 6 month anniversary. We've always said that that was going to be a special day once we got there, so naturally, I was excited for it. I psyched myself out into thinking that was the day he was going to tell me he loved me for the first time (stupid, I know). Anyway, on Tuesday night (of last week) I was texting him, complaining about all the stuff I have to do, and how stressed out I am, and I was just generally upset. I have anxiety, so I have a very low tolerance for stressful situations. He was coping me through it, and offered to take me out to lunch the next day. At my high school, we have the option to leave campus for lunch, and he conveniently lives about a block away from my school. I agreed, and the next day, he took me to lunch. Everything was going absolutely normal, no signs of stormy weather. Right as we were about to part ways, however, I kissed him and turned to walk away, but he grabbed my arms and made me face him again. He sort of kept stammering and wouldn't get the words out and he said, "This is harder than I thought." For some reason, the first thing that came to my mind was that he was going to say he loved me. But then he said, "I've never had to do this," and I realized what he was really going to say. The first words out of my mouth, humiliatingly, were, "Is this a joke?" His response was, "You're great, but I don't really see where this is going." I told him it was fine and put on a happy face, and as I turned to walk back to school, he called for me to come back, but I kept walking. About an hour later, he texted me asking if I was alright. I told him yes, I was fine, and he responded with, "I realized I didn't care as much as I used to, and that's not fair to you. You were a big part of my life though. See you around." It was extremely abrupt. Everything was going really well (in my mind) and there were absolutely no signs of trouble. He had told me three days before he broke up with me, "I really care about you a lot," which, to me, is unfair that he would say that and make me think everything was fine, and then three days later, break up with me because he stopped caring. Also, I found his timing especially strange. Four days before our six months, which we agreed was going to be special and somewhat monumental. Not only that, but the day after I was telling him how stressed out I was. I feel like it was unfair of him to do this and add more onto my plate. Believe me, I didn't let myself get wrapped up in my high school boyfriend and I am most certainly not devastated by his decision; I can't change the way he feels. However, I'm immensely confused about the whole thing. It was so out of nowhere, I feel like I was slapped in the face. I'm still shocked, honestly. I was completely blind sided. And like I said, his timing almost seemed like a joke. Anyway, here's where I need some opinions. Because he left high school this year (in January) to take college courses, he lost all of his friends. No one from my school contacts him anymore. He has bipolar disorder, and every few months he would have a huge breakdown, and I would be there to help him cope. Many of those breakdowns were related to how lonely he felt. I was essentially his last remaining friend, which was obviously unhealthy for a relationship. His older brother who is in college is home for summer now, and they're extremely close. He's referred to him as his best friend. So here's what I'm thinking; won't he get lonely eventually? I'm not being bitter or hoping to get him back, but I really do miss him. I'm most certainly not going to be the one to initiate conversation (it's a pride thing), and I feel like after maybe a month, he's definitely going to get back into contact with me. I feel like this because of past experience (last summer, into fall) and because his only friend his is older brother. Won't he eventually begin to miss me, and want to be friends again? That's really all I want. Just let me know if you think so, and how long you think it'll take for him to contact me. Also, and I know this is COMPLETELY crazy of me to think, but I can't help thinking this is a joke. As I said before, his timing was ridiculous. And his reasons for the break-up were kind of foggy. So in a way, and I know I'm totally psyching myself out, I feel like on our six months (tomorrow) he's going to call me and tell me it was all a joke. I know, I know, he would have to be the biggest A-hole around to do that. But this whole thing is just such a shock, I feel like a practical joke is the only explanation. Please don't make fun of me, I'm a stupid 16 year old girl (no I'm actually fairly intelligent, actually). Again, sorry this is so long, but I'd appreciate getting some opinions. THANKS!
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